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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys and noise!

200 replies

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 17:42

I have one child. ONE!! The neighbours might think there's 6.
This child cannot do anything at a normal speed or noise level.
All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.
My son:
Runs everywhere at top speed. Screeches to a halt when he spots a bug/worm/spider/butterfly which is then carefully lifted up in a dirty little hand, gently placed in his bug box, and off he runs screaming at the top of his lungs 'Muuuuuuuum!!!' to show me his new find.
He never rocks the cat. He ambushes it, then chases it up the stairs and laughs hysterically when the cat in turn waits for him around the corner and pounces on him when he races past.
He doesn't thread beads. He gathers them in his hands and throws them outside up in the air, then marvels at the patterns the sunlight makes with the colourful plastic gems.
At bathtime he utters war cries while saving a drowning clothes peg from an oversized plastic jug.

When I get home from work, he squeels in a high pitched little voice, drops everything in his hands and throws his whole 6 year old self into my arms. He never stops talking, smiling and playing. His bike stunts ('look mum, I can left my bum off the seat while I fly over the ramp') leaves me breathless.
And yet come bedtime and he nestles, fragrant and clean and damp after his bath, in my lap for story time, there's not a more perfect, more quiet moment in the world I would want to swap him for.

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

OP posts:
Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 01:05

^Aprillygirl do you have issues w homeschooled kids as well??*

Nope, but I bet the cat wishes he'd pissed off to school sometimes Grin

Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 01:08

As an aside I'm actually in awe that you have the time to homeschool your child when you have two jobs. You must never sleep!

TheSmallAssassin · 08/09/2019 01:09

Yes, some kids have XX chromosomes and some XY (and some have other combinations), but it doesn't mean that they are predisposed to behave a certain way. Children are more different to each other as individuals than boys as a group are to girls as a group. I don't know why you are surprised at the reaction you are getting.

The way you phrase your last sentence is telling. You are treated as an equal, even though you are a, gasp, woman!

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:10

Don't you worry about the cat. My son plays outside most of the day. The cat is getting 'abused' only once every few days...

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Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:12

I dont sleep very much. True. But thank goodness that's not your problem! 🤣

OP posts:
GibbonLover · 08/09/2019 01:20

YABU. No creation on this planet could ever compare to the utter SCRUMPTIOUSNESS that is my niece. There is no sweeter sound than her soprano-like squeals, which peal through Waitrose like a call to prayer. My chest swells with pride as she asserts her independence in the aisles, she is her own little girl and simply OOZES with determination. Yet her childish innocence shines through, like the sun's rays when clouds part, when she asks, in that loud and clear voice of hers, 'Why is that lady so fat?'.
Indeed, this amazingly stunning little bundle of curls and stickiness is so IN LOVE WITH LIFE that she never wants the day to draw to a close. I watch with awe and wonder as she pleads to be allowed to continue her evening, not ready to retire to the solace of sleep. Will her boundless energy ever fade? And when those GORGEOUS blue eyes finally close, I feel so privileged to watch her in her slumber that it brings a tear to my eye. I simply cannot wait for her to rise with the sum tomorrow morning, with the words 'Auntie Gibbo, get up NOWWWWWW'. Sleep, for me, can wait. Who needs it when SIL has allowed me to take care of the most precious gift one could ever hope to receive.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:25

GibbonLover that was beautifully written. I'm so happy that you've got that energetic little bundle of joy and pureness in your life. I feel your awe... I feel the same bout my child. And I'm happy your niece has you... You clearly love her very much... She is a lucky girl.

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DramaAlpaca · 08/09/2019 01:36

I am a 'boy mummy'. I have three of them. And as I said upthread I still feel sorry for your poor cat.

justheretostalk · 08/09/2019 01:39

Both my kids (dd and ds) had a bunch of friends over last night. There were WAY more squeals and noise coming from the girls room than the boys room.

Teach your kid not to chase the poor cat.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:42

DramaAlpaca I'm sure that if my 'poor cat' was as traumatised and abused as you all think he is, he would not run upstairs and then lie in wait of my son to pounce on him! He would be hiding somewhere or properly scratch or bite my son. He certainly knows how to defend himself as he's proven once w a neighbouring child who played a bit rough. This same cat also hides behind the sofa to grab at my son's feet when he walks past. As anyone who knows anything about animal behaviour, will tell you, no animal will seek out their abuser to play with...

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StroppyWoman · 08/09/2019 01:43

Living Gibbon’s piss take and that OP can’t see it.
OP, YABVU. Your “frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails” view of boys and girls is archaic and damaging.
Your son sounds like he needs some boundaries.
And that poor cat...

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:48

This is getting a bit much now... You all made your point. Some taken, some not. Deal w it...

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 08/09/2019 01:54

You said in your first post that your son ambushes the cat & chases it upstairs. Not OK in my book.

My three sons have grown up with cats & dogs & have been taught from infancy that chasing them is not acceptable behaviour.

Yes they were boisterous children, no I never minded the noise - but I would never tolerate them terrorising an animal.

At 6 your son is old enough to know how to behave, and if he doesn't he's not the one to blame.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:59

You said in your first post that your son ambushes the cat & chases it upstairs. Not OK in my book.
Yup, that's YOUR book. Let's leave it at that. You don't see the real situation. Clearly only one or two people actually understood that I was trying to share some lighthearted fun stuff. I'm fedup saying that the cat is not getting harmed or upset in any way.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 08/09/2019 02:08

Ahhhh, your rookie mistake was not putting 'lighthearted' in the thread title.

People are obviously taking you far too seriously.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 02:15

Thank you for the heads up. I'll mind that next time. I'm grateful for your honest reply without any nasties. What a barrage of abuse this attracted... 😭 😭 😭

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WhatTiggersDoBest · 08/09/2019 02:19

Awww your OP made me smile so much. I've been feeling really down post-birth but this post really lifted my spirits about how wonderful little ones can be. Sorry about all the people who took this the wrong way.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 02:20

Thank you so much

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Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 02:22

I have to admit, I feel a bit battered and bruised emotionally after all the awful comments.. Never expected that people can be so mean and Ive been working as a nurse for a very long time. Thought I'd seen it all. Its quite sad that mums can be so cruel and heartless towards other mums. In the end we're all doing our best with our kids.. 😭 😭 😭

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Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 02:23

And I'm glad my post made you smile and sorry you felt a bit down. Hope you and your little one are both doing fine.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/09/2019 03:24

OP enough people have already made the stereotypes point so I won't add to it.

However, if your son is quite loud a lot, do get his hearing checked. My nephew struggles with fluid in his ears. He was always loud too, then got grommets & voila. Normal volume.

His sister is the madcap one in their house but nothing wrong with her ears. She's managed to get the cat into a toy pram to push it, I think that cat would rather be chased tbh.

December2019 · 08/09/2019 03:31

Ahh he sounds just lovely op... I'm expecting boy no2 and I cannot wait for this
Although my best friend has a little girl and she runs around screaming dressed in a princess dress & Spider-Man mask and I've never once seen her sit nicely.... she wanted a nerf gun for her birthday 😂
She's utterly brilliant!

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 03:33

Great comments that made me smile! I'll defo give the hearing test some thought! Though I think he's just loud and sxcited. He listens to me reading stories in a normal voice. Thank you xx

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User344772734481882445 · 08/09/2019 09:51

OP, I feel really sorry for you. You have come in for quite a bashing. It happened to me similarly once on mumsnet and I felt lower than I ever have before, really destroyed me for a couple of days. Personally I'd take yourself off the thread for a while and don't read anymore.

I can tell from your post that you absolutely love your son. He's very lucky :) I have a bit just like yours, who I also love with equal passion. He, and his brother, light up my world and I love their craziness and energy and zest for life.

Spend the day with your gorgeous boys and forget the mumsnet bullies for today :) Flowers

Ps. Think I read you're a nurse. Thanks for all you do. Nurses are great in my book.

roisinagusniamh · 08/09/2019 10:00

OP; I hope the replies on this thread have opened your eyes a bit and that you can accept that YABU.
Let him develop his own personality without labelling his behaviour as gender driven.
This is especially important because you home school him which will mean you are his main influence in life.
I actually feel sorry for him.
Remember too, to praise, comment on the action, not the child, for example; "that's a really interesting drawing, tell me about it"
Instead of; " Good boy, you've drawn a frog".
Read some child specialist educational books....look at the works of Montessori and Froebel.