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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys and noise!

200 replies

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 17:42

I have one child. ONE!! The neighbours might think there's 6.
This child cannot do anything at a normal speed or noise level.
All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.
My son:
Runs everywhere at top speed. Screeches to a halt when he spots a bug/worm/spider/butterfly which is then carefully lifted up in a dirty little hand, gently placed in his bug box, and off he runs screaming at the top of his lungs 'Muuuuuuuum!!!' to show me his new find.
He never rocks the cat. He ambushes it, then chases it up the stairs and laughs hysterically when the cat in turn waits for him around the corner and pounces on him when he races past.
He doesn't thread beads. He gathers them in his hands and throws them outside up in the air, then marvels at the patterns the sunlight makes with the colourful plastic gems.
At bathtime he utters war cries while saving a drowning clothes peg from an oversized plastic jug.

When I get home from work, he squeels in a high pitched little voice, drops everything in his hands and throws his whole 6 year old self into my arms. He never stops talking, smiling and playing. His bike stunts ('look mum, I can left my bum off the seat while I fly over the ramp') leaves me breathless.
And yet come bedtime and he nestles, fragrant and clean and damp after his bath, in my lap for story time, there's not a more perfect, more quiet moment in the world I would want to swap him for.

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

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coolandcalm17 · 08/09/2019 20:54

@bluebluezoe Yes But those 7 all have friends. I find it fascinating how different they are. I go to the school, I see huge differences just in how they play different. One example being ill often see two girls linking arms just walking round chatting, I never see that in boys. Just one example.

PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2019 20:57

My grandkids are all treated the same and no way would my daughters treat them different because of their gender.

It’s not just your daughter influencing those children. It’s every person they meet. It’s the whole of our culture giving them messages about how little boys and little boys are supposed to behave.

bluebluezoo · 08/09/2019 21:02

One example being ill often see two girls linking arms just walking round chatting, I never see that in boys. Just one example

And you really think this is due to being wired differently?

What do you think would happen if two boys linked arms and walked around chatting? Do you think people wouldn't notice? Or could it be possible that peers and other adults would rip the complete piss, make homophobic comments, and sneer at their "girl" behaviour?

That is why boys don't walk around linking arms. Not because their genes tell them not to.

Play is directed by society and other children. Not by their "wiring" ffs.

Again, I'll post this link...please watch and tell me it's nothing to do with how society treat genders differently...

PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2019 21:02

One example being ill often see two girls linking arms just walking round chatting, I never see that in boys.

Think about why they might be. Teen boys who walk around arm in arm will be teased for it being “gay”. Girls don’t get the same bullying because of that.

PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2019 21:03

Cross posted with you blue.

EmmiJay · 08/09/2019 21:17

Oh good grief! Some posters need to remove the sticks out of their arses. I read her post as a tongue in cheek celebration. He sounds like my DD in fact so its even funnier.

BetterEatCheese · 08/09/2019 21:18

Sounds just like my daughter!

joystir59 · 08/09/2019 21:29

You are being a sexist smug twat likely to raise another typical entitled twatting male.

LulaLandry · 08/09/2019 21:33

One of five siblings here. Four girls and one boy. My brother is so quiet you'd barely know he existed.

My sisters on the other hand could make a roof fall in from sheer volume. The noise they make is incredible.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 23:09

coolandcalm17 I 💯 % agree with you. Boys and girls ARE different. That's the way we were made. End of.

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Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 23:10

joystir59
Might wanna change that name containing the word 'joy'.... Just saying...

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Stompythedinosaur · 08/09/2019 23:31

Agree that you are passing on an unhelpful and sexist message.

WorraLiberty · 08/09/2019 23:48

Boys and girls ARE different. That's the way we were made. End of.

End of what?

End of the sexist crap being spouted here?

We are all made with sperm and eggs.

Surely you have enough examples given to you on this thread by parents of boys and girls, to realise it's parents and the rest of society that influences boy/girl behaviour?

Or have you literally learnt nothing here?

PicpouldePinet · 09/09/2019 00:04

Is this thread for real?
Girls sit and colour in quietly whilst your child runs rampant because he owns a penis?
facepalm
How moronic.

Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 00:58

You don't have to agree. End of that too.

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Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 01:11

Tbh I'm really getting fedup w this now. My original post was meant to be a tongue in cheek peek into my life w a very busy, very fun and well grounded little boy. I don't have to 'learn' anything from opinions l didn't ask for. I parent the way I see fit. You do the same. I obviously don't agree. It does not make you a bad parent because l disagree w you. How I see genders and their differences is my opinion. I don't mind different opinions but I do have a problem w nasty, mean and insulting people. Mumsnet is supposed to be a safe platform where mums can raise their concerns, give their opinions and be the unique people we are.
I am so utterly disappointed in the responses of horrible people and I have to say, even in Mumsnet for allowing these kind of trolling to continue for as long as it did.
It's a shame that some people don't have the ability to be civil and allow others freedom of speech.
It scares me to thinkntnat somewhere there is a little child who is exposed to this kind of harsh criticism and who have to listen to this awful way parents probably talk to them. The world has become an awful place.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 01:15

mumsnet is supposed to be a safe platform where mums can raise their concerns, give their opinions and be the unique people we are.

Giving their opinion doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be challenged on it when they’re reinforcing gender stereotypes that should have been left behind long ago.

PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 01:18

It's a shame that some people don't have the ability to be civil and allow others freedom of speech.

Again, freedom of speech doesn’t mean the right to say what you want unchallenged. Most posters have disagreed with you. Some have been more robust than others, but you’re free to report any that you think are “trolling”. Disagreeing with you does not make someone a troll.

Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 01:26

If you haven't been disgusting and demeaning, then why do you reply...? Except if the shoe fits...

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PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 01:30

I stand by everything that I’ve written. If there’s anything you think is a personal attack, report and mnhq will delete it.

The way that you talk about boys and girls’ behaviour is harmful to the life chances of girls. Lots of posters have pointed that out to you. It’s a discussion forum. You should expect discussion.

PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 01:32

And again, you haven’t engaged with the substance of the post, you’ve resorted to using insults. It’s a shame you don’t want to think about the points that have been raised.

Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 01:32

Discussion yes. Insults....? Really? Did you actually read all the comments?? 😂 😂 😂

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Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 01:34

You don't know if I've been thinking about the points raised or not. I may just choose to disagree. It's allowed... Discussion remember? Not forceful change of opinion or abusive comments.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 01:36

You just posted that I had been disgusting and demeaning. Can you point out where in my posts you see that?

Stapelberg · 09/09/2019 01:40

Darling... Sigh..... Let me explain.. I have not said 'Daisy, you have been disgusting and demeaning' have I? I said that if YOU have not been disgusting and demeaning... Meaning.... You decide if you fall into that category. Have you been disgusting and demeaning? If not, why do you bother replying..?

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