Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys and noise!

200 replies

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 17:42

I have one child. ONE!! The neighbours might think there's 6.
This child cannot do anything at a normal speed or noise level.
All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.
My son:
Runs everywhere at top speed. Screeches to a halt when he spots a bug/worm/spider/butterfly which is then carefully lifted up in a dirty little hand, gently placed in his bug box, and off he runs screaming at the top of his lungs 'Muuuuuuuum!!!' to show me his new find.
He never rocks the cat. He ambushes it, then chases it up the stairs and laughs hysterically when the cat in turn waits for him around the corner and pounces on him when he races past.
He doesn't thread beads. He gathers them in his hands and throws them outside up in the air, then marvels at the patterns the sunlight makes with the colourful plastic gems.
At bathtime he utters war cries while saving a drowning clothes peg from an oversized plastic jug.

When I get home from work, he squeels in a high pitched little voice, drops everything in his hands and throws his whole 6 year old self into my arms. He never stops talking, smiling and playing. His bike stunts ('look mum, I can left my bum off the seat while I fly over the ramp') leaves me breathless.
And yet come bedtime and he nestles, fragrant and clean and damp after his bath, in my lap for story time, there's not a more perfect, more quiet moment in the world I would want to swap him for.

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 07/09/2019 18:28

I have 3DD 1DS, when they were small, I wished I had 4 boys!! My DS is now 19 and still chilled quiet boy, the girls are hell on wheels with noise!!

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 07/09/2019 18:30

There is a difference. There just is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Onatreebyariver · 07/09/2019 18:31

I have 3 boys and I hate parents who have naughty boys (as yours sounds possibly prone to being!) who then blame the behaviour on their genitals rather than the parenting.

Are all men identical? Do all men beat up women, or all men enjoy darts, or all men shout at top volume, or all men enjoy playing cards, or all men cook as well as Gordon Ramsay? No all men are different. Same as all boys.

So YABU and sexist.

Doyoumind · 07/09/2019 18:33

I think this is a bit of a gender stereotyping and I don't agree with it. I know boys who don't fit this description at all. I also know girls whose squeals and shouting drive me crazy.

Some children are naturally loud and boisterous. Some are quiet. Some are in between.

Sometimes boys are allowed to be noisy and girls are taught to be quiet.

TrentBridge · 07/09/2019 18:33

Boys are certainly allowed to be noisier, rougher, more "unruly" if you will, because they are boys and that is what boys are "meant" to do. I have 2 boys and 1 girl, all equally noisy and messy, and the only noticeable thing is other people's reactions... boys will be boys etc. It's utterly painful.

SallyWD · 07/09/2019 18:40

Honestly, my little boy is as quiet as a mouse. My DD is very noisy, always rampaging through the house yelling her head off!

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 18:41

There is a difference. There just is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you have any evidence to prove nature over nurture?

Or is the above statement based on your own children and talking to other parents?

Ime boys behave as in the o/p because the parents allow them to. Girls behaving that way are told to be quiet and stop doing it.

Then the parents take that as confirmation of the stereotype.

Up until puberty there is very little difference except for adult expectation.

lazylinguist · 07/09/2019 18:44

There is a difference. There just is

Yes, there's a difference between some boys and some girls. There's also a difference between some girls and other girls, and between some boys and other boys. Or to put it better, there's a difference between all children, because they are all individuals.

Mrsthomasshelby1 · 07/09/2019 18:46

You are getting a rough time here OP. My daughter was as you described, one of my sons is as you describe. Based on my family my little boy is the noises thing ever! He has loads more energy than my DD ever did. Apparently I was like that as a child so guessing he takes after me- though I have heard "it's a boy thing" from people loads

ThisHereMamaBear · 07/09/2019 18:46

I have two boys and they are completely different to each other. I hate it when we're out and if one has a stick in his hand, you'll always get someone saying "he's such a boy". Gross.

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 18:56

One of my favourites was when we went to watch older dd at a sport competition. Dd2 was a toddler and had brought a little pink bag with her favourite bits and bobs to play with.

One woman collared me and started on about girls and how they love their handbags, it was so nice having a child do “girl” things with- she had boys and all she ever got was cars and trucks.

Dd then opened her bag and proceeded to line up a dozen cars, three helicopters, several air force planes, a full compliment of emergency vehicles and a couple of trucks for good measure Grin.

DramaAlpaca · 07/09/2019 18:59

I feel sorry for OP's poor cat.

notso · 07/09/2019 19:00

I have a daughter and three sons.
DD and DS2 are the same.
Loud, untidy, dare devils, concerned with their appearances, sporty, witty, love drawing, hate being told what to do.
DS1 and DS3 are the same.
Love reading, eager to please, tell tales, cuddly, bit sneaky, not into sports, couldn't care less how they look, neat freaks.

bellmadboo · 07/09/2019 19:04

I have 3 screaming, dramatic adorable brats all girls and one tender loving silent baby girl. I have a boy due in a week and I can't wait I hope he's full of life like your lil man

rainydays5 · 07/09/2019 19:05

Your son sounds awesome!! I have 4 boys... They are gross but bloody amazing!!

User344772734481882445 · 07/09/2019 19:05

I have 2 boys OP. One is exactly as you describe!! The other is very gentle. However, both, especially my eldest energy ball, are very 'boyish'.

I hate all this - 'oh they r all the same, boys and girls like the same stuff etc... they are all the same, they should all play the same stuff etc..'

There is a difference. That's not to say some girls don't like cars and planes and jumping in mud, and some boys don't like dolls and sitting colouring. Of course they do. However, I do think there are innate differences, why wouldn't there be? Some boys are more biysoh than others and some girls more girlish. My boys are very boyish. DS1 loves looking at pictures of muscle men and wants to use the gym and get strong. He idolises men. If my boys chose to sit and play with dolls and wear pink dresses that would ay ok with me. DS2 used to have a pink you castle he'd play with a bit. Bit they largely (and DS1 exclusively) choose cars and soldiers and football and Ninjas and that's also ok.

You were brave to post what you did on mumsnet OP. Mumsnet is massively of the 'gender neutral, we're all the same, boys love dolls and girls love bugs brigade ....'

Biancadelrioisback · 07/09/2019 19:06

Erm, OP, what are you doing with my DS?

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 19:13

You were brave to post what you did on mumsnet OP. Mumsnet is massively of the 'gender neutral, we're all the same, boys love dolls and girls love bugs brigade

No. You misinterpret. That is not what is being said at all.

The point is stereotypes are harmful.

Or to put it better, there's a difference between all children, because they are all individuals

Sums it up. Children should be allowed to be who they want to be, defined by their personality. Some boys will like dolls, some will like cars. Some girls will like dolls, some will like cars.

It is not “gender neutral”. It is simply that we should not expect children to act a certain way because of their genitalia.

Watch this; m.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu44AqF0iI

It is completely subconscious is most people.

TheBrockmans · 07/09/2019 19:16

You are welcome to dd and her saxophone if you want to test your theory. DS will be very grateful as he hates the noise.

DM1209 · 07/09/2019 20:33

This thread did not go the way OP planned and I can see why.
He (irrelevant of gender) sounds utterly annoying and you sound like a 'my child is so cute' even when other people most probably inwardly roll their eyes at him, and you.

I suggest you marvel in the privacy of your own home. Teach him not all creatures are there for his amusement oh and accept the fact that your child is the same as every other average 6 year old out there.

Coming from a Mum of 3.

StanAndMe · 07/09/2019 20:35

My boy is as quiet as anything. I don’t think it’s dependant on the sex, just the child

DM1209 · 07/09/2019 20:36

Oh and the 'girls rocking their cats in prams' - yes, you're most definitely insane and borderline ignorant to boot if you think this EVER happens.

Babdoc · 07/09/2019 20:43

DH was a quiet kid with his nose permanently stuck in a book. His younger sister flung herself off the top step of their staircase shouting “Catch me, I’m flying!”
My best female friend at primary school was into surfing and horse riding. My best male friend was happiest when playing with a toy kitchen.
All kids are different, OP. Please don’t turn gender stereotypes into self fulfilling prophecies by cooing over your DS shouting and tormenting the cat.

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

m0therofdragons · 07/09/2019 20:46

I have 3 girls - 1 quiet, 1 squeals and one is either loud or asleep. She is sooo loud I'm very grateful we're in a detached house but even then Blush