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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys and noise!

200 replies

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 17:42

I have one child. ONE!! The neighbours might think there's 6.
This child cannot do anything at a normal speed or noise level.
All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.
My son:
Runs everywhere at top speed. Screeches to a halt when he spots a bug/worm/spider/butterfly which is then carefully lifted up in a dirty little hand, gently placed in his bug box, and off he runs screaming at the top of his lungs 'Muuuuuuuum!!!' to show me his new find.
He never rocks the cat. He ambushes it, then chases it up the stairs and laughs hysterically when the cat in turn waits for him around the corner and pounces on him when he races past.
He doesn't thread beads. He gathers them in his hands and throws them outside up in the air, then marvels at the patterns the sunlight makes with the colourful plastic gems.
At bathtime he utters war cries while saving a drowning clothes peg from an oversized plastic jug.

When I get home from work, he squeels in a high pitched little voice, drops everything in his hands and throws his whole 6 year old self into my arms. He never stops talking, smiling and playing. His bike stunts ('look mum, I can left my bum off the seat while I fly over the ramp') leaves me breathless.
And yet come bedtime and he nestles, fragrant and clean and damp after his bath, in my lap for story time, there's not a more perfect, more quiet moment in the world I would want to swap him for.

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 07/09/2019 23:39

Resorting to calling posters “bitter” shows you have no sensible argument to make. Exactly what am I “bitter” about?

thebakerwithboobs · 07/09/2019 23:39

We have six boys. All wonderful. All different.

Frangible · 07/09/2019 23:39

chill out all the angry bitter old woman

You really need to work on your gender stereotypes, OP.

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 23:40

Can't get away from the fact that he's a boy. He was born a boy. It's in his DNA. I'm talking about MY little boy. Almost all munfroends have girls who are just completely different to my son. He has got 2 little boys in the same homeschool group and they are both as boisterous and loud as my son. I enjoy being a boys mum. Kids all jave different personalities, of course, but this is my experience. You don't have to be horrible and nasty just because you do not agree. Nobody asked you to reply.
I enjoyed the kind and funny cements of people who understood where I was coming from! 🤣 It's fun having a loud, busy, boisterous, happy child in the house.

OP posts:
saveallyourkisses · 07/09/2019 23:40

I think OP might have just been looking to talk (playfully) about how noisy her little one is, and as an adult does recognise that not all boys do play noisily and not all girls play quietly. Sometimes we generalise things and chat in a jokey manner and it's not designed to be serious. It made me smile and I'm a mum of three, my eldest DS is quiet and sensitive and plays quite thoughtful games like Lego building and my DD runs around shouting and screaming to the point that we've all wondered if we can find a controller to turn her volume down a bit. (My youngest DS is only three months at the moment but currently seems chilled out so who knows.)

My point is, I don't think she was intending to make a huge statement about gender differences, I think she just wanted to have a jokey parent rant, which many of us enjoy doing 🙂

Frangible · 07/09/2019 23:41

No ones disputing he’s a boy. They’re disputing that his chromosomes make him noisy.

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 23:44

saveallyourkisses
Thank you! I'm glad there is someone in here who understands what I meant. Never in a million years did I expect this amount of nasty comments... It's quite sad that people respond so harshly...
Boys AND girls are awesome, of course, but I'm talking about MY SON. Not the neighbours kids or someone else's. I do not think for a moment that girls are less special... 😭

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 23:47

My point is, I don't think she was intending to make a huge statement about gender differences, I think she just wanted to have a jokey parent rant, which many of us enjoy doing 🙂

And everyone else point is she did make a massive statement about gender stereotypes, whether intended or not.

And rightly got called out on it.

Fine to have a jokey parent rant about her noisy boy. Not fine to say AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!. Because no, every boy on this planet is not noisy.

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 23:49

Boys AND girls are awesome, of course, but I'm talking about MY SON. Not the neighbours kids or someone else's. I do not think for a moment that girls are less special... 😭

No, you weren’t talking about your son. You were talking about boys in general.

Your question was AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!.

To which the answer is Yes, YABU to say that about all boys.

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 23:56

Okay, you've all made your point. Taken. I did not mean for it to be taken so literally. Calm down. Certainly did not expect this level or angry replies. Would you feel better if I said 'noisy kids' instead of boys?! I'm again saying, despite how it read, I'm referring to my boy and the other two in his group at homeschool meetings. If your kid don't fit that profile, it's cool w me.

OP posts:
SunshineDays2019 · 07/09/2019 23:57

Lighten up people!

saveallyourkisses · 07/09/2019 23:57

I can see that it's irritated some people, and each to their own, I was just trying to mention that it seemed to me that OP was being jovial.

There was a thread on here earlier which was jokingly talking about the OP murdering her DH because he was faffing and everyone took it in the lighthearted manner it was designed to be, joined in with the joke and had fun. She didn't get a hoard of people commenting about the nature of her post which I would say, if you took it literally, would be more serious than this one.

Just feel a bit sorry for OP here who is being told off royally for trying to have a bit of a laugh 🤷‍♀️

Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 00:25

Aprillygirl... better go brush your teeth then...
Concerning my 'brat', keep your name calling for yourself please. No need to be nasty. If you don't like what I say, move on.

OP posts:
Frangible · 08/09/2019 00:28

Lighten up, OP.

See what I did there?

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 00:28

saveallyourkisses
Thank you for being kind and seeing where I am coming from. I'm glad I'm emotionally secure and not having severe anxiety or mental health issues... Someone else might be very very upset by these comments. Ps, the cat is not being abused or bullied. He loves the play as much as my son. 'no animals were hurt'. Neither will I allow animals to be hurt in my house.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/09/2019 00:30

Stop comparing him to other kids. He’s not them. He’s himself.
Uncalled for Ghost Howard. I am
Pleased however that your kids are little saints (practically perfect in every way)and that you’re
Mary Poppins super-nanny and Mrs Tumble all rolled into one. Hmm

Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 00:40

i'm only saying out loud what his teachers are probably calling him under his breath OP.

HiJenny35 · 08/09/2019 00:43

Everything about your post is wrong. The reason why your child is loud and bullying to your cat is because you've allowed it. You're one of those "boys will be boys" mums, the whole way you talk about boys being boisterous and girls being special is totally wrong and your son will grow up thinking women are pretty little things that should sit down while the men go out and enjoy themselves. Get a grip and reasses your dreadful stereotypes and stop letting your child behave badly because "he's a boy".

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 00:44

Aprillygirl he's getting homeschooled therefore I'm his teacher. And no, I certainly don't call him anything silly under my breath. I'm quite big on the power of positive speaking.. Try it.

OP posts:
Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 00:55

Aprillygirl he's getting homeschooled

Hahaha of course he is.

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 00:57

HiJenny35
My child is most definitely not badly behaved. Although I allow him a lot of freedom to explore and do things other (over protective) parents may faint over, he has boundaries that he's not allowed to cross. Hurting animals is one of them. The cat is not getting hurt. It's a game. Both of them enjoy it. Until you've seen how the cat plays w him, please don't comment. My parenting style may (clearly is...) different to a ton of other people's and I don't see anything wrong w that. Also, the fact that my son is a boy, is something I like to highlight because I love being a boys mum. I also think it's wrong to try to make boys 'less boyish' just because you're scared of being politically incorrect. 100% I agree that any gender should be allowed to any preciously gender specific job or act as they want. That does not take away thay some kids have XX chromosomes and some have XY chromosomes.
That means that (in a law of averages) boys will most likely end up taller than most girls. Most girls will have smaller shoe sizes and softer voices. I am a woman. I like being a woman and I like being called a woman. I appreciate it when a man hold the door open for me and don't swear in front of me. That's me. You don't have to be the same. AFYI I have a second job very much in a man's world where I am treated like a woman, yet an equal.

OP posts:
Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 00:59

Sorry meant to say any gender should be allowed to do any job....

OP posts:
LatteLove · 08/09/2019 01:01

I don’t have girls so I can’t compare but my 2 boys are incredibly noisy. My head is ringing permanently!

Stapelberg · 08/09/2019 01:01

Aprillygirl do you have issues w homeschooled kids as well?? 😂 😂 😂

OP posts:
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