DDs hair is disgusting and rubbish

[radioactiveimagination]

Had DD4 yes hair cut into cute bob yesterday. In preparation for starting school next week. All good. This morning though she is inconsolable, hates it, is disgusting (wants it long like a princess 🙄). I'm at a loss what to say and feel so guilty! What can I say to make it better? 'It'll grow back' is not cutting it.

My DC have always loved the Belle and Boo books and have the Belle doll as well. She has a little bob. You could show her Belle and say she’s lovely like her? Just a thought.

Google ‘Princesses with short hair ‘.

Did you discuss the haircut beforehand? If so, remind her of that. If not, she may well be a bit in shock...

Snow White has a bob

Did you explain the cut to her before you did it? Take her to choose some nice hair clips and things so she feels more “Princess-like”?

There's not really a lot you can do about it now apart from show her some images of princesses with short hair. Would she like to wear some nice clips or a headband?

Did you ask her beforehand whether she wanted her hair long or short? If not, perhaps next time get her to pick out some photos or pictures (from a limited selection based on the length of her hair at the time) of how she'd like it to look?

Pamper the hair - blow dry and nice clips. She’s four, she’ll get over it quickly, if you don’t fuss too much.

Persuade neighbours and granny to tell her how beautiful it is.

Maybe don't try to talk her out of it: just leave it at: "you feel sad, don't you? It's horrible when you don't like how you look."

ie acknowledge her feelings and let her feel sad for a bit. Kids don't have to feel happy all the time. You're not a failure if they're not happy.

Can you engage her with some non-long hair role models? Dora the explorer? Rapunzel who’s hair is cut?

Get her a nice hairband or two...looks lovely on a bob. And some new clips for the side.

Did she ask for short hair then shes changed her mind? I agree with pp about mentioning Snow White.

It's probably more worry about school than the hair.

The haircut just symbolises the huge change.

Did she want her hair cut short?

Show photos of Princess Charlotte with her bobs, and the clips and headbands she wears?

For what it’s worth my dm cut my hair ready for school at that age, ‘it will look nice, so I trusted her, she was my mum after all’, when I started ALL the girls except me had long hair, several down to their bottoms. I still resent my mother and her ‘it’s looks better short’ and ‘but i don’t like doing your hair’ attitude, for the way she made me feel, and still would cut my hair as soon as it got past shoulder length, and I am now 38.

Why did you get it cut? She obviously didn’t want it cut. I remember being made to have mine cut, and I want best part pleased. We teach all this bodily autonomy - my pants dont touch; don’t let nanny kiss you if you dont want kisses; but mum can go wild with the scissors coz she’s your mum and its her right. Poor poor message really about who can do what without permission.

My parents did this to me. I hated it. They then bought some pretty ribbons to tie it off my face a bit and I hated it slightly less. Good luck.

Let her watch tangled

Was it agreed between you beforehand? My 4 year old had her first proper haircut last week and we discussed it at length before she went to make sure she was happy with it.

Some lovely hair accessories.

My Mother made me cut my hair when I was little. I'm in my 50s with long hair now and I still have nightmares about somehow being in situations where it has been cut short.

At the end of tangled, the princess has short hair.

Our beloved princess of hearts Meghan Markle has short hair.

Plus hair can grown again.

This is the problem with society telling tiny girls from babyhood that their hair is a fucking asset and a measure of their worth. It’s a bloody liability!

There’s not much you can do except sympathise but not indulge her thoughts on this. And try to change her thinking long term about how important her hair is to her value.

My dd wanted her long hair cut into a bob. She asked and asked, we looked at pictures, she understood that once it was done it would take a while to grow, then the day after it was done she sobbed that it was ugly.

I’m not seeing in your OP that you didn’t consult her and think some posters are jumping to conclusions.

I feel for you OP. I think all you can do is tell her it’s beautiful and sympathise with her, get some pretty clips etc.

Why did you get it cut?

If she asked for it then just remind her that she asked for it.

If she didn't ask then I've no idea, sorry. My DD has always been allowed to choose when she gets her hair cut. She had a pixie cut until this year (she's 7) when one of the other kids told her she couldn't be a girl as she had short hair
I always offered her the choice though: long hair but she has to tie and clip it back for school or short hair. And I always let her ask the hairdresser to cut it