DDs hair is disgusting and rubbish

[radioactiveimagination]

Had DD4 yes hair cut into cute bob yesterday. In preparation for starting school next week. All good. This morning though she is inconsolable, hates it, is disgusting (wants it long like a princess 🙄). I'm at a loss what to say and feel so guilty! What can I say to make it better? 'It'll grow back' is not cutting it.

It's never too young to tell children they will never grow up to be royalty and would be far better to consider working for a living
A few people telling her how nice it is will help, can you tip the wink to some parents or even teenagers?

I think it makes a nice change for a small girl to have short hair. Every single girl and young woman has long, straight hair now - it is sooooo boring! I certainly would not say to her that it's OK to feel sad about how she looks as a PP said - just storing up trouble for the future!

zippey Fri 06-Sep-19 09:10:45
Our beloved princess of hearts Meghan Markle has short hair.

MM isn't princess of hearts and she hasn't got short hair

Was lured into a bob aged 4. Got one through choice now but ages 8-13 were a full on battle for my hair!

Def find pics of Snow White, Dora the Explorer and similar, and acknowledge that whilst she might not like it she could savour growing it back. 4 yo had a bob cut so my mum wouldn't have to faff with bows & clips etc- I was dying for some! So I agree with cute accessories, too! Is her hair long enough to tie up at all? I ask because if not be careful of Princess Charlotte pics. Hers is long enough to go back in a pony tail atm... may not help the situation!

Yep watch Tangled.

Even as an adult, when you have a significant cut in length and are pleased on the day with what the hairdresser has done, it does feel a bit weird the next day. You keep running your fingers down through or brushing and ——— oops, it runs out. Same goes for a big colour change It doesn’t feel quite like you and it’s a temporary dissonance between what you see/feel and what you are used to as ‘you’.

With a little one, that is going to be confusing for a bit, especially as she is going into a new situation as well. It will pass as her subconscious catches up.

Mm hasn't got short hair

"you feel sad, don't you? It's horrible when you don't like how you look."

This is quite possibly one of the saddest things I've ever seen anyone suggest telling a child.

She's 4 she shouldn't care about how she looks. You are basically agreeing with her that her opinion that she doesn't look good is true.

I would show he pictures of snow white if she wants to see a princess who has a bob and explain to her that her hair makes her look very grown up and ready for school. She and you will be grateful for it being shorter when she inevitably catches nits.

Our beloved princess of hearts Meghan Markle has short hair

No she doesn’t.

Meghan is a duchess with long hair 🙄

Your dd is four. Distract her and she will forget it about it five minutes later. She’s far too young to be overly concerned with looks.

at shoehorned in MM bashing!

OP- it might be worth googling some pictures of Lady Di, though. There are loads of her looking incredibly princessy with short hair.

She was fine about it beforehand, and to be honest it wasn't very long before, she maybe had 2 inches cut off. It's not like the pudding bowl haircut my DM surprised me with at that age so at least she's been spared the horror of eighties hair fashions.

Snow White, Rapunzel at the end, princess Charlotte, all good suggestions thanks. I'd get her clips but they never stay in as it's so thick and silky.

Acknowledge her feelings as advised upthread. you feel sad, don’t you? it’s horrible when you don’t like how you look.

Dd did much the same thing with a fringe when she was a little older and she was sure she wanted it done first. Buy some pretty hair things as has already been suggested, put her hair in some cute bunches etc.

Lady Di too of course! She's pretty much over it already, just going about her usual business, pausing occasionally to remind us 'don't like hair 😡' it looks so cute though!

“This is the problem with society telling tiny girls from babyhood that their hair is a fucking asset and a measure of their worth. It’s a bloody liability! “

And

“ “you feel sad, don't you? It's horrible when you don't like how you look." This is quite possibly one of the saddest things I've ever seen anyone suggest telling a child.
She's 4 she shouldn't care about how she looks“.

This.

But you are where you are. Matter of fact “oh Princesses have all sorts of hair, just like Explorers and Doctors and singers and vets. Shall we make a smoothie / go to the park / other distraction.... possibly meeting up with a friend with shorter hair! (But without mentioning that fact)

"you feel sad, don't you? It's horrible when you don't like how you look."

God almighty, seriously? Just distract her and get on with the day. If it wasn't her hair I imagine she'd be stropping about something else, she's 4!!

It’s fine to want long hair as a kid, or any age for that matter. 4 year olds are allowed to have an opinion about how they look. I think it’s a bit sad to make her have short hair if she didn’t want it just for practical reasons. Otherwise why don’t we all just dress like Chairman Mao and be done with it.

Is it never too early to start telling girls how the way they feel about themselves is all to do with whether other people think they are beautiful or not, or how much like princesses they are?

I've always tried to teach my DD to deal with self confidence and self control, rather than distracting her with pretty hair clips and telling her she's a beautiful princess. Even at 4.

My two girls (3 and 4) have little bobs. They both look fab but I’m very careful not to focus on how they look much at all and chat about princesses is only accepted tongue in cheek. No gushing ‘you look like a princess’ or any bullshit like that. They love princess movies and I do often get asked ‘do I look like a princess mummy’ with a twirl and tilt of the head but I always just say ‘you look like your beautiful self’ and sometimes follow up with ‘you know princesses come in all shapes and sizes’. I talk to them a bit about real life princesses (who are just like you and I but born into a royal family) and cartoon princesses who are just stories and drawings.

Pictures of Snow white/Princess Diana/Princess Charlene of Monaco? All short hair.

Iris in How To Hide A Lion has a very good bob. She gives me fringe envy.

Bobs are the “in” hairstyle in my 5yo DD’s class - she begged me all summer to let her have her long hair cut off and is delighted I finally relented. “Princess” hair isn’t all it’s cracked up to be it seems! Maybe your DD will find the same when she starts.

She obviously didn’t want it cut

Were you there?

You could go down the old gimmer route of telling her how much worse it was in the old days. My mum used to trim mine round a pudding bowl with the kitchen scissors, which on one memorable occasion my dad had used to trim some bacon and neglected to wash. That was fun.

Tell her how nice and 'swishy' it is. She will soon be swishing her hair so much you will want to shave it off!