DDs hair is disgusting and rubbish

[radioactiveimagination]

Had DD4 yes hair cut into cute bob yesterday. In preparation for starting school next week. All good. This morning though she is inconsolable, hates it, is disgusting (wants it long like a princess 🙄). I'm at a loss what to say and feel so guilty! What can I say to make it better? 'It'll grow back' is not cutting it.

She's 4 she shouldn't care about how she looks

Anyone who knew me now would never believe that there was ever a time I cared about what I looked like, but I definitely cared when I was four. I wanted to be like a fairy-tale character who had pages carrying her hair.

But such is life. The little one will get over it and either start to like her short hair or it will grow.

*Why is wanting long hair meaning you want to be a princess.

It has never crossed my mind that I want long hair so I can be a princess. Ever.*

Do people even read the OP any more?

Well quite Quim

My DD is 5 and has a short bob that looks gorgeous, shiny and straight. Anything longer looks straggly as she has fine hair that didn't really grow till she was 3.
If she said she didn't want it short, she'd still be getting a bob, just maybe a bit longer as she needs to look neat and tidy for school.

QuimReaper it was in response to other peoples posts

bluebluezoo

In which case I apologise wholeheartedly - and very sadly. I’m very sorry that your little girl has been subjected to that at her tender age.
Our children are all pretty much grown now, when they were 4 years old appearance just wasn’t something they would have considered for a second (youngest is 16 now). Bullying at that age was pretty much unheard of at their pre-schools/infants. Some troubled children and challenging behaviour, certainly but personal targeted attacks based on something as vacuous as an haircut, absolutely not.
I really worry about where our society is heading.

*HennyPenny

*what interest would a 16 year old boy have in a 4 year old's hair and how acceptable it is? He'd have no idea about primary school girls and their hair”

None whatsoever! A Bob is considered naff in Year 11 too, apparently.

A Bob is considered naff in Year 11 too, apparently

Then he must be pretty naff himself as longish, just below chin length bobs are really fashionable with teen girls atm.

2019 bobs

@Gingerbreadsonme there is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to be a princess just as there is nothing wrong with a girl not wanting to be one. Both are valid. Also princess does not mean anything negative. I hugely loved the disney princesses and learned valuable attributes from each of them.

I agree, I don't think it's helpful to girls and women to say their choices should be restricted, eg pink is bad or princesses are bad. They're not, it's just the message that girls and boys are to be valued for different sets of attributes that's not OK, and in this case, that looks and decorative is what girls are for.

It's OK to care about your appearance, most people do if we're honest, and not caring at all can be a bad sign (eg of depression). But that should be the same for girls and boys, and both should get the messages that they can also aspire to be active, brave, caring, curious and so on and aspire to all walks of life.

Send her photo to her grandparents with short bob and message them somewhere else telling them to say something nice as dd is reading and lost her confidence after the haircut.

Maybe a couple of her aunts and people too if possible.

@MyCatsHat fully agree. I do find it worrying that we see all kids needing to only have a set group of characteristics. Also bravery comes in many forms and I am disapointed that in so many books and movies these days the only way a female character can seen to be strong is through displaying character traits traditionally associated with men. There is so many forms of courage and strength that get over looked

Please google the Little Princess Trust and tell her it’s a brilliant idea to grow her hair really long, because then she can donate it to other children who’d love to have long hair too but can’t grow their own right now. Remind her that her grandparents think she looks amazing with short hair AND long hair, and how brilliant it is to be able to choose.

I was wracking my brains trying to think how the Jeff that would help, then I remembered it was Jodie Whittaker not Peter Capaldi

This made me . At least one haircut in our house is Dr Who inspired!

Our beloved princess of hearts Meghan Markle has short hair lol

Maybe the American actress is wearing a wig and the poster is in the know.

I had lovely long hair which was very fine and curly. My mum never bought hair conditioner, maybe it wasn't invented then (1950's) anyhow she hated brushing it - couldn't brush it really, so she had it cut as short as a boys. It was called a 'short back and sides'. Even my neck was shaved. I was called sonny by strangers which never bothered me for some reason, but I dreamed of having a ponytail.

Even now I keep my hair long and it's still curly.

Manontry

“Then he must be pretty naff himself as longish, just below chin length bobs are really fashionable with teen girls

Please dont be nasty. If you’d reread what I said you will see I clearly said he keeps himself to himself and doesn’t get involved! We were at the barbers, I asked him a question about something I overheard, he replied to the best of his knowledge according to popular opinion at his school. He does not agree with it, he is a kind, quiet young man and doesn’t care what his own hair looks like, let alone other people’s! He was telling me what certain other people of his generation think about such vacuous things, he has no opinion about hairstyles one way or the other.

You misunderstood. I (and my son!) think such opinions are ridiculous.

Find a pic of Princess Charlotte with a Bob - real princess haircaut!

Snow White was a princess and she wore her hair in a bob, didn't she? I'd just say that and show her a pic of the Disney cartoon lol

Sure it's been said before but Princess Charlotte has a bob. (Much cuter on most children than wispy tendrils in an attempt to grow it long).

My 4 year old DD has very long beautiful hair I could never dream of cutting it into a bob we have to much fun going for pamper days together for our nails done then a nice cut and bouncy blow dry! So many people comment on her hair and how gorgeous it is and my daughter loves it, my little niece had her hair cut into a bob at the age of 7 and it looks absolutely awful

My 4 year old DD has very long beautiful hair I could never dream of cutting it into a bob we have to much fun going for pamper days together for our nails done then a nice cut and bouncy blow dry!

Fucking hell.

Full stops? Any possibility?

Why on earth is a 4 year old girl having her nails done? That really is ridiculous.

you feel sad, don't you? It's horrible when you don't like how you look

No, no, no, no, no. Do not give your daughter the idea that how she looks is any kind of big deal. She will, unfortunately, work this out for herself when she's older, without you giving her the idea.

This is one of the worst bits of advice I have heard anyone offer in my 17 years on MN.