To say this needs sorting ASAP to the preschool staff?

[EndGamer]

Ds 3 goes to the school preschool - he will be in their foundation year after summer next year.
Lovely preschool he’s settled fantastically well lovely staff etc. Monday he came home his pants were dirty and his bum super sore from not being wiped properly. I explained to staff he will try and wipe it himself but he can’t do it properly could they check him and I’ve sent in some wet wipes for him.
Today hes again in dirty pants, he had a poo after the register this morning he said so he’s been like that all day! Poo on the back of his top and again he’s really sore.
Aibu to think most 3 year old would need helping out with this and to say to the preschool it needs to sorting?!

TheFallenMadonna Thank you, that was entirely my point. OP does not state her whereabouts.

I agree it could be a Scottish thing, I’m pretty sure that’s the policy in our authority.😀

Has he actually told the staff he has been for a poo?
My DS also 3 came home with a smear in his pants and he hadn't told the staff he had been for a poo, so they couldn't check.

Gracielooloo Thanks for the backup. Love your name considering the thread content!

Where are all these 3 year olds that can wipe their own bums as I’ve yet to meet one! I’d be annoyed OP and would bring it up.

teachers are their to educate children, not attend to their toilet needs.

This thread is one of the reasons I really don't like school nurseries, the fact that this government is so in favour of them and feel so frustrated with so many aspects of early years (and education in general tbh!) in this country.

Early years practitioners should be about the development of the whole child and each child should be treated as an individual. Children achieve milestones at different times, with different levels of support and some children may never achieve some milestones due to additional needs, or they may achieve them years after others - each one of those children deserve access to good early years education through play.

Being able to use the toilet is a developmental milestone, like any other, that involves lots of different processes, including successfully wiping your bum! This can be easy for some and difficult for others, some children really struggle to actually reach! Not being able to wipe well is not purely down to parents not bothering to teach their children.

There are all sorts of reasons why children may struggle with toileting, not just additional needs. It should also be pointed out that many many children with additional needs will not have a diagnosis or even had those needs identified at this age. Early years practitioners should work with parents, children and professionals (as necessary) to support the child.

Before 2010 early years settings (and schools) could say that children needed to be fully toilet trained before admission, and parents called in if there were accidents but then the Equality Act stated that this was discriminatory practice. I am very surprised to hear of schools that are not allowed to wipe a child's bottom if needed.

I work in a term time, school hours preschool (committee run, ages 2 and a half - school start), we do have a qualified early years teacher, but still work to a ratio of 1:8 for over 3s, as we believe this is in the best interest of the children. I absolutely see part of my job to be supporting children in toileting, encouraging independence...yes, but also assisting when necessary. I am shocked to hear that people think it shouldn't be, or that there isn't enough time.

Nokidshere - all your posts have been great.

The OP had told the preschool he struggled and sent in wipes
I explained to staff he will try and wipe it himself but he can’t do it properly could they check him and I’ve sent in some wet wipes for him. they should have checked.

I work in a preschool. We don’t go to the toilet with children unless they need help/are potty training. We frequently get shouted by children to wipe them which is fine, we gladly do this. But some children don’t speak up and things like this happen. The amount of children we have, things like this can sometimes happen, although because you’ve flagged it up from yesterday I agree that it shouldn’t have happened again today.

They are more than likely busier than usual due to new starters, I know we are, we have more unsettled children than usual. Does your child have a key worker? They should be keeping an eye out.

My son is almost 7 and cant wipe properly. He holds all day though. Has SEN and possibly autism

No your not being unreasonable it has happened twice. You don't need wet wipes. You do need propper supervision. Even if it's just (let me check.) The children in the pre-school room in the nursery I work at often get support or checked. depending on their need.).

3 year olds sitting in groups being taught? See, I just can't get my head round that as a starting point. 35 years ago, or now.
OK say 'doing activities, assessments etc' instead of 'teaching groups' if you prefer (although it is the same thing). They aren't sitting in rows writing in books.

would expect him to be able to wipe his own bum by the time he goes to pre-school

Who are these kids who have long enough arms to wipe their arse? My 3 year old can’t reach her butt to effectively wipe her bum... however, your 3 year old should be able to tell a teacher if they have been for a poo

I’m surprised no one could smell him. It pretty obvious. And if his bottom was sore he would have been pulling at his clothes and squirming when he sat down. Three year olds need caring for, it’s up to the adults to notice.

I'm in Scotland and no nursery I know has any issues with wiping bums.

I don't know any 3 year old who can wipe their bum properly. Most of the ones I know need help with their clothing in the toilet (unless they are nearer 4)

3 year olds should be running around playing and climbing and noodling about with toys and bricks and looking at books and making a mess with paint and glue and grubbing about in dirt and sticking a bucket on their head and saying, "I'm Iron Man" and squoodging playdoh......that's how they learn.

I think it's fairly common, sorry. I think they go to the toilet by themselves. You could either try and work on it with him (its tricky though, I think doing it properly is actually beyond most 3 year olds) or tell him to say to the teachers he is going for a poo and could he have some help wiping. We had the same issue, my daughter wasnt telling them when she was going for a poo or that she needed some help

My son has just gone into reception. Last year in nursery lots of them weren't wiping bums very well despite parents teaching them to do it. The teachers and TA's helped them and had no issue in doing this.

however, your 3 year old should be able to tell a teacher if they have been for a poo lots of children would struggle with this.

3 year olds should be running around playing and climbing and noodling about with toys and bricks and looking at books and making a mess with paint and glue and grubbing about in dirt and sticking a bucket on their head and saying, "I'm Iron Man" and squoodging playdoh......that's how they learn.

Yes^

however, your 3 year old should be able to tell a teacher if they have been for a poo
lots of children would struggle with this.

Exactly. My just turned 3yo is great with pees but will not tell anyone other than me (possibly DH / DM / MIL) if he needs a poo. He's scared of doing it in the toilet and would rather hold it in possibly resulting in an accident, which talking to friends with same aged kids, is very common.

For people to say that ALL 3yo's should be able to take themselves off to the toilet with no assistance at all is quite frankly ridiculous and I wonder if these posters actually have a 3yo.

Our local pre-school take children from two. I'm guessing most people wouldn't expect a two year old to be able to wipe their own bum.

@GPatz you'd be surprised some posters here would swear that a 2yo should be perfectly capable of not only this but also of preparing a simple meal for them-self

Bless him. Can you try to get him to try for a poo every night, just sit him to try. With the aim to try to reschedule his poos It's sort of good he's relaxed enough to poo there, so there's that !

My DS is starting at a school preschool and they send them to the toilet down the corridor alone . I've been trying to get him more independent, learning to do trousers, but I don't think he'd wipe for a poo either. He'd try but he wouldn't reach. But then no one will be there to help anyway. They apparently do go to find them if they take too long.

kaytee87 A simple meal? My two year old makes a fabulous Beef Wellington for a party of five.