To say this needs sorting ASAP to the preschool staff?

[EndGamer]

Ds 3 goes to the school preschool - he will be in their foundation year after summer next year.
Lovely preschool he’s settled fantastically well lovely staff etc. Monday he came home his pants were dirty and his bum super sore from not being wiped properly. I explained to staff he will try and wipe it himself but he can’t do it properly could they check him and I’ve sent in some wet wipes for him.
Today hes again in dirty pants, he had a poo after the register this morning he said so he’s been like that all day! Poo on the back of his top and again he’s really sore.
Aibu to think most 3 year old would need helping out with this and to say to the preschool it needs to sorting?!

Most nursery and pre-school staff I have met are well aware that 3 year olds struggle with proper bum-wiping.

There’s also the question of thorough handwashing after ineffective bottom wiping.

As it goes my DS has been going to another preschool, which is stand alone, not at a school, but term time only. It has no such requirements to be fully self sufficient on toilet training. So it does confuse me why the school based setting is insisting on toilet trained, go by yourself and the other will just go with the flow, do nappies, help them potty train, or go with them and wipe.

To clarify in England not Scotland.
3 staff to 15 children

3 staff to 15 children
Not in a school nursery class.

infamous in our local community for being endlessly kind and patient with the children who come to my class

@velocitygirl7, “infamous” doesn’t mean what you think it does.

There's 3 staff for 15 children at my sons nursery too.

Is it a preschool next to a school, but not actually a school nursery?

Although it shouldn't matter - if a 3 year old needs support with toileting and help to be clean and comfortable...then they should get that support.

Are you sure they know he needs help/has done a poo? He might not be asking for help.

I work in a preschool in a school setting with children from two and a half years old. Some will still be in a nappy, some in pull-up, some in pants. All staff expect to deal with changing nappies/pull-ups, wiping bottoms if required, or just reminding them to wash hands afterwards. Each child is different, and we talk to the parents about their child’s capabilities so that we know how to help each individual, e.g. a particular 3 year old who can wipe himself properly but can’t do up his button. Obviously accidents do happen, but we would never knowingly leave a child unwiped, as it would not only be uncomfortable for him but pretty soon unpleasant for the rest of us!

@TheCatsACunt bloody charming. As I said previously, I have a huge box of cards that all clearly show I'm considered extremely kind & caring.
Some people really gain pleasure from being nasty, it always amazes me.

If I had been told by a parent that their child came home with dirty pants and a sore bottom, I would make it part of my day to keep an eye on when the child went to the toilet, ask them if they needed help, check that they had done an ok job of wiping and help them or change them as necessary. That is my job, to support and care for children.

To continue, I work bloody hard, doing a job I'm passionate about, do hours of unpaid overtime each month and go beyond the call of duty many times a day (as do all my colleagues) and yet I'm criticised on here for daring to suggest that 3/4 year olds are perfectly capable of wiping themselves, if given lots of guidance and encouragement. Obviously there are exceptions and I would always assist if necessary.
This place isn't what it used to be. The words 'joyless' and 'nasty' spring to mind unfortunately.

@velocitygirl7 did you mean to say "infamous" or did you mean "I'm famous"? @TheCatsACunt is merely trying to point out that infamous isn't actually a good thing to be....

The charity ERIC can help advise anyone who is struggling to get schools to accept their duty to help with toileting. They have a duty of care. They have to be inclusive. They can’t discriminate based on continence needs and they can’t refuse to accommodate. This includes young children not yet fully independent. The Equality Act is the relevant legislation.

I think the pre school staff can check/ direct but to expect them to actually wipe bottoms is a step too far. It’s not fair to expect staff to do that. They should call parents In to sort . Private day nursery if that’s what you want.

I clearly meant to say I'm famous. Obviously I know the difference but I'm knackered with a tiny keyboard.
I'm sad to say there's a fair few on this thread, that will 100% be known as 'that parent' at school, one of the toughest parts of my job at times and for many others I'm sure.

It’s not fair to expect staff to do that. They should call parents In to sort

If a child is unable to wipe their bottom, then....along with encouragement to have a go themselves (and playing games where we pass things from hand to hand behind our backs, to practice that skill)....of course an early years practitioner should do it for them. In the same way that if a 3, 4 or 5 year old is in nappies I would change and clean them. It is part of the job. It is utterly wrong to ask parents to come in and change them.

....god how I hate the term 'that parent'

@hazeyjane totally agree, we'd never expect a parent to come in and would also clean and change a child when necessary.

Unfortunately the phrase is there for a reason. Anyone who's ever been yelled at for 'losing' a cardigan/water bottle/lunchbox will appreciate why.

What I hate about it, is that it has become a stick to beat parents (and that people use to beat themselves..."oh god, I don't want to be 'that patent'") when they have perfectly reasonable requests, or understandable difficulties with a school/preschool.

@velocitygirl7 surely there is a big difference between 3 and 4 ? There is the time it takes to learn things.

If a child is only just Potty training or recently trained at 3 how can they jump ahead to taking themselves to the toilet and wiping effectively?

I know many girls and some boys potty train at 2 ish, but many don't train until nearer 3. I have found my DS very stubborn on certain aspects of toilet training and I'm sure he's much more obliging at preschool as at home he can just act up and demand Mummy helps him.

Sorry...should be 'that parent'....phone turned it into 'patent'!

I might get myself a 'that parent' T-shirt'