To say this needs sorting ASAP to the preschool staff?

[EndGamer]

Ds 3 goes to the school preschool - he will be in their foundation year after summer next year.
Lovely preschool he’s settled fantastically well lovely staff etc. Monday he came home his pants were dirty and his bum super sore from not being wiped properly. I explained to staff he will try and wipe it himself but he can’t do it properly could they check him and I’ve sent in some wet wipes for him.
Today hes again in dirty pants, he had a poo after the register this morning he said so he’s been like that all day! Poo on the back of his top and again he’s really sore.
Aibu to think most 3 year old would need helping out with this and to say to the preschool it needs to sorting?!

And I am making no judgement in parents or the children. Children have accidents or rush sometimes. Shit happens

*on

Mitebiteatnite I can tell you it is categorically true for Primary schools in my local authority. Some SfLW have gone through specific training to assist ASN children. If I were to do it I'd face disciplinary action. Interesting to here other PS are different, I was not surprised to hear EYFS was.
If it were a legal requirement it would be the same for everyone. There is absolutely no legislation in existence (in this country) that says childcare providers are not allowed to wipe a child's bottom. The fact that your local authority has chosen to abdicate its responsibilities when caring for a child does not mean it is a legal issue. It means they are not fulfilling their purpose.

Pre school DC are expected to wipe themselves, it is not the same as a nursery. Private nursery takes in babies the staff realise they'll be changing poos in the setting, preschool class is different, I am sure the majority of preschool staff don't expect to be wiping bums.
One of the main instructions to start was toilet trained is essential.

Mention to the member of staff on the door in the morning that he's soiled himself twice in two days. They'll keep an eye on him. If it's a school setting with teacher plus TA then the toilets are generally free access. Any accidents should be dealt with. It's very early days then the staff are also getting to know the kids and may not have picked up on your child's toileting signals or whatever. Just mention it at drop off.

Ok substitute legal for legislation. I can't wipe bums and keep my job. If you'd like to take that up with Glashow City Council crack on.

There’s a big developmental difference between a 3 yr old that’s nearly 4, and a 3 yr old who has only just turned 3.

My DS is the latter and only got out of nappies a few days after his 3rd birthday. I tried when he was 2 and he wasn’t ready. There’s no way he can physically wipe his own bum or even understand properly the instructions on how to do so (he has generally been a late talker and communicator as he had undiagnosed glue ear until he was 2).
He is in a private nursery at the moment where he has been for over 2 years. They have been fantastically supportive. He is moving to a school nursery next month, and if they insist on him wiping himself it will be a real problem, and one which might force me to keep him in private.

*Glasgow

Meant to add, we weren't allowed to physically wipe a child's bum, but we would get wet wipes and direct as best we could. I was a nursery TA.

Our rules were the same as rededucator for toileting issues. Primary school setting, taking children as young as one day past their third birthday.

Pre school DC are expected to wipe themselves, it is not the same as a nursery. Private nursery takes in babies the staff realise they'll be changing poos in the setting, preschool class is different, I am sure the majority of preschool staff don't expect to be wiping bums.
One of the main instructions to start was toilet trained is essential.

Being toilet trained does not mean that every child can wipe their own bottom successfully. There is nothing wrong with making that a goal. What's wrong is that children sit with dirty bottoms all day because some adults mistakenly think that every child should be able to do it.

No one who works in a childcare setting should be making sweeping statements like "every child should be able to do it" because that will never be the case. Children are individuals who need different things and develop at different rates.

DadCanIHaveAZedgie thank you for that. I wasn't commenting for a debate, I was just giving a view point from my experience in my Local Authority. There are always some ready to take up arms and battle to the death though! Heaven forbid there might be legislations that differ to what one has experienced in their time

I work in Foundation 1, our children do full school days and are 3 when they start. We are very much part of school, they wear full school uniform, we go to assembly (eventually, not in September!) and they eat dinner in the school hall with Foundation 2 and key stage 1.

That was info for @TuckMyWin

I have 2 DC...both could wipe themselves before starting preschool. Think if u practice at home he will be able to get the hang of it. Whilst I dont think it's the teachers job to be wiping everyone who does a poo it's also not in his best interest to be left uncomfortable. But if it's up his back and he is really sore is he wiping at all? I would teach this at home. I understand missing a little now and again but not constantly to the point he is sore. It's not that hard to wipe your own bum. I would go down the road of telling him he is sore and needs to makesure he wipes. Then watch and show him at home. However if after that he still struggles I would speak to the staff and say it's an issue for him. Can they check/help. It's not fair for him to feel uncomfortable. Good luck

The preschool I work in has up to 30 children on our busiest day. Every member of staff is willing to wipe bottoms and most of the children will call “I’m finished” from the toilets. Yes they are encouraged to have a try first but we supervise and then ensure it’s properly clean. However if a child doesn’t let us know they need help & returns from the toilets as usual then we won’t know. As much as we’d like to watch the toilets every time a child goes it just isn’t possible when dealing with the other 29 children, being engaged in activities etc.

Lots of then will instruct but won't touch. DC are starting preschool much younger, it used to be 3,5 now the government have introduced an extra year they start at 2.8, they're waddling in.
I waited until DS was 3,5 as I knew he wasn't ready to bum wipe.
Most preschools don't have changing facilities.

DadCanIHaveAZedgie thank you for that. I wasn't commenting for a debate, I was just giving a view point from my experience in my Local Authority. There are always some ready to take up arms and battle to the death though! Heaven forbid there might be legislations that differ to what one has experienced in their time

Isn't it better to know though that there is no Law preventing you from assisting a child in your care that needs help? It might be best practice to have designated people who have had instruction on how to perform intimate care with dignity but it is not law.

One would assume that all staff providing care would need to have had this training though so the children can still be helped if someone leaves or is off sick.

YANBU. Most 3yo need help. Leaving a dc in a dirty bum all day whereby they are getting sores is neglect. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. They are failing in their duty of care. Speak to the manager- make them aware of the problem and ask how they plan to resolve it and give a timeline. Write to them to create a paper trail. I'm sure Ofsted will care if the manager knowingly allows this to continue. It's an absolute disgrace.

At my DDs preschool a member of staff always waited outside the door when they were in the loo in case they needed help, and if they had done a poo double checked the child had wiped well. It was one of the many reasons I was so pleased with my DDs experience there. Some of these preschools sound incredibly cold and unwelcoming, although I understand it must be hard with limited staff members.

There seems to be a bit of an assumption that the staff will be on hand when OPs DS is on the toilet and supervising. That was rare in my experience, the only toilet supervising that happened was before an assembly or lunch or whatever when the whole class would line up and be sent in groups of four at a time (or however many toilets there are).

If OPs DS isn't telling staff he's done a poo, has wiped himself, and hasn't said anything about having a sore bum over the course of the day, how are they supposed to know? The only time we would enquire about toileting was when there had very obviously been an accident/a child had tried to clean up.

DD started nursery a little under 2 1/2, still in nappies - which they said was no problem. It wasn't. She was out of them in less than a term, as none of the other children were. I set about teaching her to wipe, but nursery said I needn't worry, they were a) happy to do it for her and b) in no hurry.

I remember when I was small, I couldn't reach let alone coordinate until I was older. I feel so sad for mothers nowadays where they are expected to force these things on their kids.

Nokidshere To assume makes an ass out of me and u No, not all staff are trained.

If a child needs it, someone must be trained and available to do it.

Perhaps Scotland differs.