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Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
tweebookworm · 06/09/2019 13:23

@Genderfree there is a reason for that. He offered what he was obligated to provide. After he makes it clear he wants nothing to do with the child and OP chose to continue with the pregnancy and raise the child that is her choice. He made the changes he is obliged to so the rest is up to her

BakewellGin1 · 06/09/2019 13:25

Of course the situation isn't ideal and it is understandable you think that it is unfair he has so much money...

However the amount he is saying if it is correct based on his salary is as much as my take home pay and it wont affect your benefit claims, bursary applications (often including childcare whilst you study) etc.

Genderfree · 06/09/2019 13:25

I posted to soon. It seems that theirs a lot of posters who’s ex partners are scum and they want everyone else to be in the same position. Sad really.

Yes that’s all true nononever, there’s really some deadbeat fathers out there and some posters will be wringing their hands in glee if this chap does what you say.

Genderfree · 06/09/2019 13:30

Twee there is a reason for what?

I will repeat myself, he’s offered what he’s obliged to pay under the CMS ONLY based upon his ALLEGED salary. Yes I’m shouting but this is getting tedious.

tweebookworm · 06/09/2019 13:36

@Genderfree he by all indications offered what he is required to. OP wants more. The fact that she said it is so she can study in london without working does no favours either as living in London to study and refusing a part time job not moving next to family is a lifestyle choice. He is responsible for the needs of the child not the OPs lifestyle desires

tweebookworm · 06/09/2019 13:36

She comes across as a gold digger

FireBloodAndIce · 06/09/2019 13:40

Unfortunately you've found the first rule of motherhood, you cant have it all. Especially not when without a job, soon home and partner to share costs with.

You need to seriously look into all your options but you should never rely on that money to hold you up. He could decide not to pay, quit his job, fiddle his wage or die. Leaving you with nothing or little. He could also decide to go to court and have access to his child, cutting down the money you'd get.

OrangePowered · 06/09/2019 13:40

You basically want him to support you AND the baby, which is unfair.

Why is it unfair? She is raising his child.

saffy1234 · 06/09/2019 13:45

That is way more than he's obligated to pay.Take it!

Banangana · 06/09/2019 13:53

I posted to soon. It seems that theirs a lot of posters who’s ex partners are scum and they want everyone else to be in the same position. Sad really

I have no children and no deadbeat exes. I think men who don't support their children are scum and men who don't want a child should do everyone (the babies who will grow up fatherless especially) a favour by simply wrapping it up. I still think she's being a grabby.

tweebookworm · 06/09/2019 13:55

@OrangePowered because he is responsible for the baby not a fully grown adult he is not in a relationship with

Genderfree · 06/09/2019 13:57

Twee carry on putting your fingers in your ears and going la la la when someone mentions the possibility of a Schedule 1 application. Have at it.

Just as an example, a family member receives far, far more than the amount offered to the op and has a similar income then her child’s father, all court ordered.

Saffy another poster who doesn’t know the law in this area but posts regardless of what’s been said previously.

Feel free to keep agreeing with each other, won’t repeal Schedule 1 will it.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/09/2019 13:58

@saffy1234 no it's not.
It's what CMS calculator has worked out.
And that isn't even based on his huge salary, just the highest they can go to.
As a rule of thumb it should be around 12% of his gross salary which, if he takes home £15K will be around £21K
So really it should be around £2,520 per month.
But the CMS amount is a lot and the OP should accept it as taking it to court might mean she ends up with less. It's a gamble.

Banangana · 06/09/2019 13:59

You basically want him to support you AND the baby, which is unfair.

Why is it unfair? She is raising his child

She'll be raising her own child that she wants and he doesn't so it's not like she's doing him a favour. She's going into it knowing that he's not interested in being a parent. He's fulfilling his duty by financially supporting the child. He shouldn't have to pay the OP a salary for merely fulfilling the parenting role that she's chosen to take on.

Jubba · 06/09/2019 13:59

Schedule 1 can cost anywhere upwards of 200k.....most women ask the ex to pay legal costs. However. Most judges reuse due to it being benifical to the mother. Rather than the child

Does op have a spare 1-500k hanging about?

Genderfree · 06/09/2019 14:01

Banangana I will tell my family member she’s grabby despite her child’s father investing over £100,000 per year and putting a very high amount into his pension fund. Heaven forbid her son has a lifestyle that reflects his income.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/09/2019 14:01

@Hanny3 - as some posters have suggested, is there any way you could transfer to a university near to your mum (and hopefully somewhere cheaper to live than London), so you can complete your studies, afford to live and have family support?

We all have to cut our coat to fit our cloth - whether we are parents or not, in a relationship with the baby's father or not.

I accept that, whilst the amount you are being offered looks pretty good compared to what most people have to live on (it is certainly more than dh and I were living on, once we had three children and I had stopped working - and he was in a senior managerial position), it is pretty paltry compared to what he has coming in each month - and it must feel so unfair that he is going to be basically no worse off, and will still have the same standard of lifestyle, whilst you are going to be dealing with all the stress and work of single parenthood alongside studying for a degree.

But I think you need to be pragmatic. Other people who know much more about this than I do have advised you that, whilst you could go through the courts for more money, you would have to pay the costs of that court action, and there is no absolute guarantee that you would end up substantially better off. In your shoes, I think I would be accepting his offer (and getting it agreed in a binding contract as a previous poster suggested), and then looking at all the options to allow you to continue your studies and raise your baby.

How much longer do you have left on your degree? Would you and the baby be able to stay in the shared accomodation you are in now? Could you manage with the baby in your room until you finish your degree? If you have more than a year to go, and you couldn't have the baby in the shared accomodation you are in now, what other options are there that would be more affordable than your own place? Could you find someone on your course who'd be willing to house share, and share the rent so it was more affordable, for example.

London is a big city, so I am sure that a) current shared accomodation and b) your own place are not the only two options available.

IrmaFayLear · 06/09/2019 14:03

Is there any difference between level of CM awarded to an ex-wife or long-term partner and mother of existing dcs, and that awarded to someone who has got pregnant outside a relationship and after only a short time?

Banangana · 06/09/2019 14:04

Genderfree You can tell your family member whatever you wish.

swingofthings · 06/09/2019 14:07

I really can't believe how naive rich men can be! There will always be golddiggers who see them as ticket money and will have no qualms lying about bring on the pill and praying every month to get pregnant to cash it in.

OP is one of them. The man is s full who should have listened to his mum.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/09/2019 14:08

@IrmaFayLear - no none at all.
The child maintenance will be the same.
The difference is that if a woman was a wife and gave up a career to raise the DC they could be entitled to spousal support, so they would get more to enable them to continue in the lifestyle they are used to.
But that's getting less and less - which is a shame because it should stand!

hellsbellsmelons · 06/09/2019 14:12

What @swingofthings ???? How one earth do you know that?
If these rich men don't want to be preyed upon by gold-diggers then they should put a rubber on it! Contraception is up to the man as well.
Or are we solely responsible for that as well now!???
If they want to be doubly sure then it's up to them to protect themselves and not believe everything they are told.
Sigh!!!!

IrmaFayLear · 06/09/2019 14:15

If I were a rich man (da da da da da da da da da da da da da da daaaaah) I'd wear 30 condoms at a time if I were inclined to sleep around.

lalag · 06/09/2019 14:15

@IrmaFayLear 😂

IrmaFayLear · 06/09/2019 14:15

sorry, cross post. (Too busy typing da da das.)

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