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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask guests for specific items for baby shower gifts

197 replies

Heartburn888 · 04/09/2019 21:19

Hi everyone

I have just been going through my baby clothes I have already, my baby shower is next month and I have the attached so far;

Aibu to ask for specific items of clothing as gifts from the guests or would this be considered as grabby? Should I just wait and see what I am gifted?

For those who think ianbu, what items would you ask for after looking at the list of clothes I already have?

This will be my first baby and I don’t want to buy/ be gifted double than what I need as i wont have a lot of space in my nursery as I’ll probably have a chest of drawers for clothes storage.

Thank you! :)

To ask guests for specific items for baby shower gifts
OP posts:
Boobiliboobiliboo · 05/09/2019 14:22

The OP is a first time mum, where is the support? We all have to find things out somehow, when I was pregnant I literally found myself googling 'what do newborns wear

The OP said:

all my friends and family members who have had children have had one

so it should be safe to assume she has eyes and has at some point in the not so distant past at least been around babies before.

coconutpie · 05/09/2019 14:35

Good god. Loungewear for a baby? Denim jacket and smart stuff for occasions? The best piece of advice I can give you is to stick to vests (that have envelope openings around the neck so you can pull them down over the body rather than having to pull them over their head when the many inevitable poo explosion occurs) and sleep suits / babygros. Oh and cardigans. And buy loads of vests / babygros. Once you have your baby you'll read back on your original clothing list and think wtaf was I thinking with denim jackets and smart clothing!

Pardonwhat · 05/09/2019 14:36

I think having a baby shower with the expectation of gifts is cheeky to begin with. Never mind dictating what gifts. Don’t do it.

whattodowith · 05/09/2019 14:37

Baby showers suck as do jeans for a baby. Actual outfits are futile before they turn six months, babygrows are best.

Daylily34 · 05/09/2019 14:41

You really don’t need all those things - just multiple packs of baby gros and vests - or soft pjs - maybe a little cardigan - babies really are poo machines and you might get through several a day . Once they start moving they just need soft comfy clothes

saraclara · 05/09/2019 14:42

Am I the only person left who thinks that only the basics should be bought until a baby is safely born?

Also I thought the point of showers is that friends or family organise them. I've never heard of someone arranging their own. As someone else said, it's basically you saying "here's an opportunity to buy me a gift!"

DappledThings · 05/09/2019 15:15

I'm surprised so many people recommend sleepsuits all the time - I found all those poppers a right faff, and he lived in vests (long or short sleeve depending on temperature) and footed trousers instead, because I found it easier.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I'm always amazed by these threads and everyone saying sleepsuits only for so long. Whipping off a pair of soft trousers for a nappy change was much less faffy for me than all the poppers on a sleepsuit. DC1 was about 7 or 8 weeks when he stopped wearing sleepsuits in the day. DC2 was only about 4 weeks.

Mamagunner · 06/09/2019 11:21

I don't think it's grabby to ask for specific clothing sizes, I think it's practical. Do you have a registry, who is throwing the baby shower for you? Have that asked if you have a registry or what you need? All the stuff I have needed is on my Amazon baby registry, I didn't have a baby shower as I had one with my other two and we did a gender reveal party this time (my partner's idea, to announce it to mine and his children at the same time) but if people have asked what they can get us I have given them the registry link and they can get us something we need, there's a variety of items on there and nothing really expensive as we have got that ourselves.

Aprillygirl · 06/09/2019 11:45

The people being invited to your baby shower are already being forced to buy you something so it may as well be something you like/need I suppose. I could not bring myself to buy a tiny baby a pair of jeans though Hmm

IMissMargaritas · 06/09/2019 19:16

Just saw this on one of my Facebook groups and made me think of this thread 😂

The comments go on to say how British people have ruined baby showers by charging people to come, asking for what gifts they want and 'even throwing them themselves'. Made me laugh how even Americans hate the British version of them!

To ask guests for specific items for baby shower gifts
user1493494961 · 06/09/2019 19:26

You don't seem to have that much yet. I would just be grateful for what I'm given, I'm sure you'll get a range of sizes. I'm another one who dislikes babies in jeans, they look so uncomfortable.

Pinkblueberry · 06/09/2019 19:30

It does seem a bit grabby. If you knew you were having a baby shower you could have waited until after to buy the other baby stuff based on what others had already bought.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/09/2019 19:41

Baby shower = grabby
Expecting attendees to bring gifts = grabby
Sending a gift list = even grabbier

I’d add to that ranking

Hosting own shower and invited guests expected to pay for meal
Baby shower for third child of the household

JupiterJane · 06/09/2019 19:47

Babies need something soft and comfortable and you need something quick to change and wash.

It isn’t a doll and you will get through 4 babygrows in a day. Newborn poo is liquid. It goes everywhere.

You need 8 babygrows (with in built scratch mitts) and 10 long-sleeve vests. 1 cardi and 1 hat.

Skip the denim jacket, dungarees and “outfit”.

JupiterJane · 06/09/2019 19:49

Also, you may want to buy 1 month clothes. I had a couple of 8.5 lb babies and newborn didn’t fit them!

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 13:57

YABBU to dress a new born in a denim jacket.... just yuk!

Newborns sleep a lot, in the carrycot, car seat etc, would you like to sleep in a denim jacket?

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 13:59

*YABVU

Lunafortheloveogod · 25/09/2019 14:20

Jesus wept you’d think you were rattling a tin at the door, stick together an Amazon list and put a note on the invite to go onto it if they’re stuck for ideas. DS had a cute fake biker jacket and loads of outfit clothes. He didn’t live in baby grows from birth till now, he sleeps in them at night and wears mostly leggings/joggers/dungarees with tops.

He’s a refluxy baby so a baby grow was more of a nightmare tbh. He’d puke soak through a bib and his top would be wet.. with the occasional vest too so top n trousers meant I could just change half the baby. Rather than a full strip off for a wet collar.

Family asked what I wanted so I gave suggestions, not strict this or that’s. But anyone else just got whatever..

The only thing I’d suggest grabbing even from yourself (besides the 0-3) is a pack of tiny baby grows.. fling in the hospital bag as an emergency outfit incase you end up like us, expected 8lb9oz got 6lb 1 smurf 😂. His newborn clothes were far too big never mind 0-3, if it wasn’t for a friend telling me to get the suits we’d have had a mad rush for stuff he fit into n he was in tiny baby for a good few weeks, closer to a month.

firstimemamma · 25/09/2019 14:26

In my experience you get absolutely inundated with clothes once the baby is born! This was the case for me and to be honest everyone else I know who has had babies.

As long as you've got a few basics (vests & sleepsuits) there is no need to ask for more, especially specific items.

Good luck with the baby Thanks

firstimemamma · 25/09/2019 14:30

Also forgot to add, while you're obviously free to dress your baby however you wish, I personally only dressed my baby in vests / sleep suits to begin with. A newborn doesn't need denim jackets, only to be warm, comfortable and close to you.

Sweetpea55 · 25/09/2019 15:45

Baby showers are grabby anyway.
How many people buy a baby shower gift and then buy another one when the baby arrives?
And a wish list is even grabber. What cfy.
And babies don't suit clothes with collers... Because theyv got no necks, just a dear little head and body... Denim jacket I ask you.. Covered in regurgitation in minutes

GrapefruitGin · 25/09/2019 15:47

YABU to expect people to buy you gifts but if someone insists they’d like to get you something YANBU to say what you’re still in need of.

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