To ask guests for specific items for baby shower gifts

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Hi everyone

I have just been going through my baby clothes I have already, my baby shower is next month and I have the attached so far;

Aibu to ask for specific items of clothing as gifts from the guests or would this be considered as grabby? Should I just wait and see what I am gifted?

For those who think ianbu, what items would you ask for after looking at the list of clothes I already have?

This will be my first baby and I don’t want to buy/ be gifted double than what I need as i wont have a lot of space in my nursery as I’ll probably have a chest of drawers for clothes storage.

Thank you! :)

I would love a gift list for a baby shower. People always buy so much stuff themselves I spend ages trying to find something they won't already have but will love.

You are totally overthinking this OP.

The list I have attached isn’t items I want to ask for it’s items I already have. Just wanted to clear that up.

I pass a Morrison’s on my daily commute to work and have seen some cute stuff in there so I’ll pick up a pack of grows tomorrow.

Also - sorry I bet I sound like a right idiot but may as well ask whilst I’m on the subject 😂 what do you put on a newborns feet? I need some socks but obviously I won’t be putting on a pair of proper shoes or trainers or anything, is there a proper name for what I need?

Can someone explain to me why some folk are so against baby showers? I really don’t get it?

Is it just the ‘grabby’ element or is it because it’s American? I don’t see why some people take such offence to someone choosing to have one?

Another here who thinks baby showers can feck off back to the USA where they came from. Thankfully they were not the done thing when I had my DC.

Booties! To the poster who said I will look back at this thread in a few years and laugh. You are right 😂😂

I hate baby showers so I can't comment.

For baby's feet, put them in socks with little sock holders on the top (google "sock ons") , or if it's cold, a pair of soft leather shoes, like this: www.amazon.co.uk/Dotty-Fish-Leather-Toddler-Multi-Coloured/dp/B01ELGE2NY?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21
Or just a babygro with feet.

Hi Op,

I think you’re having a hard time here , unfairly. Being a new mum is hard and it’s really tricky to know what you need etc.

I had a baby at the same time of year as yours is due, last year. I’m happy to send you my essentials list if you’d like.

It’s difficult to imagine what you’ll need until you get there, and there’s no need to spend a fortune, buying bundles of clothes etc on Facebook or eBay can save you loads.
But just as an FYI I packed more sleepsuits in my hospital bag than you have at the moment- but you have plenty of time to prepare.
As a pp has said, Sainsbury’s, Morrison’s & Tesco clothes are lovely and relatively inexpensive. As a minimum you’d look for 10-12 vests and sleepsuits in sizes newborn and 0-3 , plus socks for under the sleepsuit if their feet seem cold or to add if it’s cold out. I didn’t dress mine in anything other than a sleepsuit until at least 3 months! (I had a couple of more patterned / favourite ones that I used if I wanted to make an effort!)
Then you need a pramsuit and a few blankets and a couple of woolly hats (don’t worry about anything else for their hands / feet as they’ll be covered or you can tuck them in! Sleepsuits have scratch mits built in & pramsuits have mittens that fold over)
A little soft cardi is lovely as an extra layer too.
A couple of packs of Muslins are useful as you can use them for anything too!
I used them under baby’s head when they slept in carrycot / crib- saved changing the sheets everyday ! Just tuck them in so they’re not loose.
Good luck with everything! 💐

My DIL had a registry at one of the large baby shops. I loved it. Gifts on the list ranged from a couple of dollars to more expensive things that some people clubbed together for and more expensive that I and close relatives purchased.

The baby shower itself was hosted by DIL's DS and DM at a venue. From a guess I would say that it cost way more than the total cost of the gifts received but what a beautiful day we all had.

My DS has certainly hit the jackpot with this wonderful girl. Baby is now 8 months old and yesterday I received a message. Baby waving with the caption "Hi Grandma"'.

When we had our dc, we kept the labels on and were often able to swop for other items / larger sizes. We did this a few times successfully in next and mothercare. Which was lucky as we were told having a girl, and ended up with a boy. So did swop a few over frilled things (would have swopped frills anyway!). So don't ask for specific things, or if so say you need more outfits in x size as thinking ahead.. And maybe whoever is co ordinating could ask labels stay on (apart from the price bit).

What @CoffeeNeeded2019 says (it much more kindly then me.)

I am old though, baby showers were firmly in the USA and babies didn’t wear denim when I had mine. Please take the advice above, relax and enjoy your baby and say ‘thanks ‘ for whatever people want to buy you. —and please don’t put shoes/trainers on a baby until it can actually walk—

If want to get something on their feet (useful when it's cold in a pram) look for pre walkers, or just booties.

I didn't have a baby shower (and none of my friends have either, no one wants one as we buy gifts once baby has arrived safely - I'm quite anti them). However, I was given a lot of clothes when my children were born. They lived in babygros for first few months. Any outfits that I wouldn't use I took back to the shop and exchanged for a bigger size where possible (or credit if not possible to do that). Most people gave gift receipts too.

I'm from up north and haven't had a baby shower for any of my three dcs. I would feel cheeky. I think people's expectations are too high. I'm not going to pay to go for a meal and buy a gift before a baby arrives. I'd rather just wait until the baby is here safely. None of my friends had them. The people I know who did tend to be entitled individuals. Same sort that book a long weekend abroad for their 30th/40th and expect you to attend despite your children and financial position.

Hi OP I think there's a huge divide about babyshowers since it's a USA import. No one I know has had one. And do be wary about buying ahead - my first was 10lbs and none of the newborn stuff would have fit him. I'd plan ahead if you're asking - you've already got most of the stuff so ask for 6mo stuff dependent on season. Or vouchers!

Hi OP pleased the loungewear pic made you laugh!

I see you asked about why some people don't like baby showers. These are my personal reasons please do not take offence as none is intended;

I feel it is unseemly/grabby/vulgar etc to have an event where the sole intention is to receive gifts. Baby shower is solely to shower the baby in gifts. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas etc all the emphasis is on celebrating with friends, family and so on with the added side benefit of gifts.

It's an American tradition that somehow has made it's way over here, probably due to the Kardashians et al. It isn't in my culture to celebrate like this.

It generates greed, excess and needless consumerism.

Some may consider it bad luck to celebrate the baby before he/she is born as there is still the potential for an unfortunate outcome. Superstition, tempting fate and the like.

Having said that I think having a meal with family as you have said you are having (minus a gift request list) is a nice thing to do.

When I hear baby shower I'm thinking am over the top venue, special outfits, games about babies, all eyes on the new mum, it being all about opening gifts just a bit tasteless and "oo look at me I'm having a baby, aren't I fantastic, bring me gifts for my womb holds life" when people have managed to have children for years without all this over the top business. By all means celebrate the imminent arrival because it is exciting, however it's when the expectation of gifts comes into it that I feel a bit queasy. People may well choose to bring gifts but never should it be expected or dictated. Think of it like this, it's your baby to raise, nurture and provide for - you don't give everyone else a shopping list of things you need to do it.

As for location I'm in the South East. I have a decent size circle of friends aged from mid 20s to late 40s and I have only been invited to one baby shower (and she was more an acquaintance than friend) and I declined the invitation as I found I had a prior engagement that day for the reasons above.

And ffs I've just seen how much I've written sorry everyone, never knew I had so much to say about baby showers

That's what the registry is for. Are you registered?

The purpose of a baby shower is for people to buy you gifts for the baby. To that end, you register so people can get the list and choose from it.

Just a bit of trivia. Baby showers have been very, very common in Canada for as long as I remember. I'm not sure if we picked it up from the Americans or not, but I actually remember a baby shower for my Mum before my youngest sister was born. About 50 years ago.

We have had them at work. One person can make a gorgeous "diaper cake". With new diapers to give the mom to be. We get lots of onesies etc. and just have a good time.

We also have wedding "showers". We give gifts of things like tea towels and lingerie (sometimes a jokey gift).

I think the UK tradition of "hen" parties has not really caught on in Canada although I think it might be catching on. Stag parties have been around for a long time.

Baby showers are reasonably common here (Australia) but I’ve never been to one that was a meal out or that we had to pay for. They have all been much more low key - an afternoon tea hosted by a close friend on behalf of the mum-to-be. Presents are usually token items.

I think if it were me I wouldn’t call it a baby shower but a pre-baby catch-up as I would expect no gifts at all for an event that people are paying to attend.

If your guests are paying to attend. We got unexpected presents after our DC were born. Maybe not exactly what we needed, but so thoughtful and generous. I remember them all.

Babygros and vests x 100. Comfiest thing for baby and easiest for you. Poor babies look so uncomfortable in proper outfits before about 6 months. As pp have said you need newborn stuff. I didn't have enough of that size and ended up in hospital longer than expected so had to send out for it.

I had lots of lovely two piece outfits gifted to me for first baby. They ended up going into a box unworn when he was too big for them. I definitely would recommend thst you invest in vests both short and long sleeved, plus tonnes of sleepsuits. It's very difficult to comfortably hold a baby who's wearing top and trousers, as the top rides up. Much more comfy for them to be in sleepsuit and also just so much easier. If you're breastfeeding you want baby to be in something that's not going to cause issues when you're trying to position them for latch. Dungarees are fiddly. You can get lovely sleepsuits, look out for your local nct sale where people sell bundles.

Definitely grabby to ask for things from friends at a baby shower. Just enjoy being made a fuss of and have fun getting excited about your lovely baby.

Sleepsuit will cover baby's feet so don't worry about socks and shoes. I put bootees on if I'm carrying baby in sling in cold weather but otherwise I'd just tuck blanket over in buggy.

As others have said u will only need sleepsuits and vests and hats for the first few months.

Although jeans and shirts etc look very cute it's not comfortable for the baby at all. Same goes for the tiny shoes /trainers for newborns.

And yes I think asking is grabby,sorry