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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think private school kids wearing their logoed school jumpers at the weekend is weird?

494 replies

zzzzzzzz12345 · 02/09/2019 22:47

Isn’t it a bizarre stealth boast, except it’s not stealthy at all and a bit attention seeking? I know several children who do this. If your child does, why?

You’d never catch a state educated child wearing their school jumper at the weekend. If my child started to, I’d suggest they changed.

OP posts:
Manontry · 05/09/2019 12:09

the private school mums round here all drive 4x4's and spend their days at the gym, I could not relate

Well its a good job school is about the child not the parent then isn't it?

Bearhorn · 05/09/2019 12:11

Well its a good job school is about the child not the parent then isn't it?
Which is why I went against my own personal feelings and sent her to private school when it became the right thing to do. For her.

CassianAndor · 05/09/2019 12:23

Bearhorn I'm glad that your DD found her way in her new school.

May I ask - did you also find that not all the mums were 4x4 driving gym bunnies with nothing else on their minds? Do you acknowledge that your stereotyping played a part in what happened with your DD?

Bearhorn · 05/09/2019 12:30

May I ask - did you also find that not all the mums were 4x4 driving gym bunnies with nothing else on their minds? Do you acknowledge that your stereotyping played a part in what happened with your DD?

How so?
I wanted her to go to state school. She wanted to go to state school. Her state primary was amazing for her. State secondary not amazing for her. Sent her to private. How is her being bullied and behaving badly at state school got anything to do with me 'stereotyping' the mums I saw every day in my neighbourhood? I don't understand? The '4x4' mums thing was only a tiny percentage of the reason I didn't think about sending her private before. Absolutely tiny. Yet you're the second person to pick up on it. Very weird.

Bearhorn · 05/09/2019 12:32

And I called my own self out for the 'reverse snobbery' so don't really need you to do it for me.

CassianAndor · 05/09/2019 12:48

because it's about the first thing you mentioned in your post.

And did you find that there was more to the mums than this?

Bearhorn · 05/09/2019 12:51

Barely got to know the parents. DD went in halfway through year 8 so no school gates time to get to know them. They looked fine at parent teacher meetings. No gym kits! The reverse snobbery was about the fourth thing I mentioned in my post by the way, after ethos, morals and politics.

WatcherintheRye · 05/09/2019 12:51

Buy them another hoodie. M&S do these much desired comfy hoodies, or even Primark!

I'm sure. But what if they decide, of their own volition, to wear the SCHOOL hoody?? Shock Shock

Xenia · 05/09/2019 13:25

I noticed that the princess starting school today has a logo on her cardigan (so much for me saying private schools tend not to have logos......)

pumkinspicetime · 05/09/2019 13:26

How odd to go to private school and only possess one comfy hoodie anyway.

This made me laugh. I'm sure my dd would agree but I'm not wasting money on buying more stuff she doesn't need. She has several school trip hoodies that it would be a complete waste for her to only wear for as long as the trip.
So no I'm not wasting money and planet resources buying her more when she has these to wear. The amount of time I see her peers wearing the same trip hoodies tells me I'm not the only parent with this attitude.
DS truly doesn't notice what he wears but would sign on to not wasting resources idea.

Xenia · 05/09/2019 13:28

Mine never had many clothes. If you are buying school fees you m ay have less money over for clothes.

CendrillonSings · 05/09/2019 13:40

So to avoid giving the impression that their kids are privileged, private-school parents should apparently use their privilege to buy extra sets of clothing in order to conceal their kids’ privilege.

Sounds legit.

Manontry · 05/09/2019 14:45

The kids in the Op are mates. They hang out together.

They have a better attitude towards difference than some on this thread.

TheBigBallOfOil · 05/09/2019 16:51

Cendrillon is on fire this afternoon. I appreciate

MsTSwift · 05/09/2019 16:57

Surely we should all be buying less stuff to be green so wearing stuff we already have is better than buying more and more jumpers for different occasions

MauritiusNext · 05/09/2019 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BertrandRussell · 05/09/2019 17:26

It’s fascinating how private school parents are always completely dismissive of the experience of non private school parents. Never a glimmer of “gosh, I wonder if what these people are saying might actually be true, sometimes” Not even a second’s consideration that maybe behaviour that seems perfectly fine to them might be hurtful or upsetting to other people.

BertrandRussell · 05/09/2019 17:28

Or any sense that if you have huge privilege it is a much better look to wear it lightly. And that awareness of privilege is something that it’s good for children to learn.

Manontry · 05/09/2019 17:31

Where has there been one example of a child feeling hurt or upset by another child wearing a private school hoodie? Or one personal story about a child being made to feel inferior?

BertrandRussell · 05/09/2019 17:34

The example of the grammar school hoodie I gave earlier definitely impacts on the other kids and parents. It is not unreasonable to extrapolate from that....

Manontry · 05/09/2019 17:35

Well, it is rather.

TheBigBallOfOil · 05/09/2019 17:48

It was considered, Bertrand. People just disagree with you. Shit happens.

TheBigBallOfOil · 05/09/2019 17:49

You just don’t like people who choose private education. We get it. But dictating social mores and manners to them seems a bizarre way of getting the point across.

BertrandRussell · 05/09/2019 17:51

If I didn’t like people who choose private education, I would lose half my friends!

BertrandRussell · 05/09/2019 17:53

And actually, it is part of very conventional British social mores to be modest about your wealth and privilege.