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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think private school kids wearing their logoed school jumpers at the weekend is weird?

494 replies

zzzzzzzz12345 · 02/09/2019 22:47

Isn’t it a bizarre stealth boast, except it’s not stealthy at all and a bit attention seeking? I know several children who do this. If your child does, why?

You’d never catch a state educated child wearing their school jumper at the weekend. If my child started to, I’d suggest they changed.

OP posts:
FromAMNtter · 04/09/2019 14:04

Name changed for this one

DS1 has a spare logoed private school sports hoodie. He about the same size as DH so DH was wearing the spare.
I wonder what judgement the OP would make?
Do you think she would correctly guess that DH came to this country as an asylum seeker from a civil war, has been through hunger strikes and imprisonment and was granted full refugee status?
Or would she just see the logo and make assumptions?

Usernumbers1234 · 04/09/2019 15:26

@BertrandRussell

I’m sure I know the answer to this, but I’ll ask anyway.

What about designer clothes, they mark people out as more privileged than others, do we need to ban them too?
Do we need to all be wearing matching sackcloth for you to be happy?

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 16:45

@Usernumbers1234 - would you wear Chanel to volunteer at a food bank?
Sensitivity, tact and kindness. That’s what we’re talking about.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 16:46

And I’m not talking about banning anything.

MoreThanImFeeling · 04/09/2019 16:57

What about designer clothes, they mark people out as more privileged than others Do they though? Labels on the outside of your clothing don't should privilege - I would think it's often the opposite.

mamaoffourdc · 04/09/2019 16:57

My kids love wearing their school hoodies, during holidays, weekends etc nothing to do with boasting (you have an issue there) just because it is comfortable!!!

lazylinguist · 04/09/2019 17:01

To them, their school is just the school they happen to go to. It feels like a normal school to them, because that's what they are used to ”.Hmm. Now I have a real issue with this! And I am sure many private school parents would too.

I don't understand. Why would you have an issue with this and why would private school parents?

So they're not allowed to knowingly flaunt their attendance at a private school, but neither are they allowed to consider it normal and nothing to be proud of. Perhaps they should walk around with heads sorrowfully and regretfully bowed about their privileged position (which their parents almost certainly chose for them).

As for all children at group activities having to avoid wearing clothes that show status or wealth - that's just ridiculous.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 17:06

“Perhaps they should walk around with heads sorrowfully and regretfully bowed about their privileged position”

Would you like to have a sensible conversation, or do you just want to deal in hyperbole?

TheBigBallOfOil · 04/09/2019 17:08

Presumably students at Oxford and Cambridge shouldn’t go round the towns wearing their college scarves or sports gear either?
A return of the sumptuary laws. What a useful addition to public debate

BrexitBingoGenerator · 04/09/2019 17:15

WHen went to university, people who had been to major public schools always used to slouch about in their old school clothing- I think they found it comforting and it was useful for them to identify each other. I do get your point OP, although it wasn’t so much ‘weird’ rather than just a tribe of people communicating among their own elitist tribe!

blubelle7 · 04/09/2019 17:19

Was a private school boarder. Had to be in uniform if we left school during the weekend, and was often representing the school in some activity on a Saturday. There could be several groups of us in different places on a Saturday doing different things, sports, debate, drama, endless list

Most private school parents aren't bothered with boasting

Usernumbers1234 · 04/09/2019 17:23

@BertrandRussell

No, i probably wouldn’t wear Chanel to a foodbank. But who’s suggesting these kids are, they are just going about their daily business.

You really are sounding rather silly at this point.

Usernumbers1234 · 04/09/2019 17:24

@BertrandRussell

So just to clarify, the wearing of private school uniform shows a lack of sensitivity, tact and kindness?

You do far more harm than good to the causes you like to present yourself as championing with this ill thought through drivel.

Scarletoharaseyebrows · 04/09/2019 17:29

I got a scholarship bursary to a private school as I came from a low income family. I was fucking proud of that uniform. Bore off.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 17:33

Well, there are times and places for everything- and places in both Oxford and Cambridge where a display of conspicuous wealth would be tactless.....

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 17:33

'Successful' isn't the same as showing evidence of an enriched mind though, @FenellaMaxwell.

Success in the Tory party doesn't even appear to require a whole lot of activity between the ears. You go to a certain type of school, join a certain kind of club at a certain university where you read (more or less) for a certain subject, et voilà!

It's the original old boys' club.

lazylinguist · 04/09/2019 17:33

Would you like to have a sensible conversation, or do you just want to deal in hyperbole?

I'm afraid I don't there's anything very sensible about suggesting that kids are wearing jumpers to flaunt their private school credentials or that people should be careful what they wear in case someone looks at them and feels bad that they couldn't afford it. Would I wear Chanel to volunteer in a food bank? No, because I can't afford designer clothes, but I doubt I'd even notice if someone else were wearing Chanel or any other designer item. I'm not very up on designer brands.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 17:34

“So just to clarify, the wearing of private school uniform shows a lack of sensitivity, tact and kindness?”

No. That’s not what I said.

WaxingGibbon · 04/09/2019 17:35

DD attends a state secondary. Has a logo-ed PE hoodie. She wore it over the weekend cos was chilly (and she is actually proud of her non-private school). Also I borrowed it to wear in Sainsbury's. Is that allowed op?

MotherOfSoupDragons · 04/09/2019 17:37

DS used to change out of uniform to walk home so he didn't get beaten up. I doubt very much it's a "stealth boast" FFS.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 17:39

I don’t know what the OP’s point of view is.
All I am saying is that we have always had a tradition of wearing wealth and privilege lightly. And there are times and places where showing wealth and privilege is tactless and insensitive and best not done.

Jiggeriepokerie · 04/09/2019 17:44

OP would have been horrified if she'd seen my kids going off to Reading two weeks ago. Youngest was in his (independent school) logo'd sports kit. To be fair I did ask him why. The answer was that he didn't want to ruin his own clothes. It had nothing to do with bragging Hmm.

And on the subject of the OP thinking that kids are using their school kit as a badge of honour or whatever, I seriously doubt it. My youngest left independent schooling a year ago to go to the local state 6th Form. He's just as shameless about wearing their logo'd sports kit as he is of his previous school and absolutely none of his college mates could give a shiny shit what school he went to before college.

OP you're projecting your prejudices.

Answerthequestion · 04/09/2019 17:49

No Saturday school in any of the private schools in our part of London, not even the ones with boarding. The last one stopped it about 8 years ago as it was putting people off applying. I don’t think the private day schools have ever had Saturday school as far as I can recall even going back 30 years

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 17:51

But we have a long tradition in this country of not “showing off”. Not using titles or ranks. Not being ostentious about money or possessions. And I think it’s an admirable trait.

The 'not showing off' itself marks off old and even oldish money from the Unwashed, the Nouveau Riches, and sundry other Johnny Come Latelys.

The 'People Who Don't Show Off' are a tribe too, and lack of ostentation is a tribal marker along with other traits.

Answerthequestion · 04/09/2019 17:52

Wearing leavers / event / team hoodies = quite normal and done here by kids from all schools

Just as kids wear their football club / cricket team / dance schools hoody quite normal

Wearing a woolly v-neck school jumper which goes over a shirt as part of school uniform rather strange and not something I’ve seen

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