MIL gives bigger plates of food to men

[Sofin]

We are often invited for dinner by MIL, about once a week. MIL has the idea that men need significantly more food than women, and DH's plate is always way bigger than mine. I've come to terms with this. But yesterday, she made pie and chips and DH literally had about three times as many chips as me and twice as much pie! I got about 7-8 chips and he had a tower of them. I felt like I was given a kids portion. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and had been working all day yesterday and was starving! DH had not been working, just been to the park for a little bit with DD. There are no extra helpings at MIL's either as she literally dishes out all the food to everyone. I was still hungry after, and honestly felt insulted and embarrassed :( AIBU?

@Sofin
helpful when you add more relevant information to posts.
Solution = don't accept weekly invitation if you're unhappy about aspects of the meal.
If you're working all day and your DH isn't - he cooks the dinner and cleans up afterwards.

So this was a one off? Give the woman a break OP. She sounds like she had a lot on her plate and for whatever reason she gave you a smaller portion. No need for all the angst.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll You might actually have a point there, even if I've never made that connection. I've had some weird comments from her in the past, like when DH and I first moved in together, she seemed shocked that DH were to iron his own shirts. And she's also said that children are the responsibility of the mother several times - like when DD has been ill and one of us needs to stay off with her.

Yes, I'll talk to DH again about it and suggest swapping plates to see what she says :) She;s very picky about the plates though, and always tells me "that one is yours" and pointing.

We're actually expecting a boy (found out last week), so I might even point out that I'm carrying a male and we wouldn't want HIM to go hungry.. if I can build up the courage

YABU. Men do need more calories. Be grateful for what you are given and if necessary have a snack before you visit her. It's once a week for goodness sake.

@NoSauce It's not a one off, happens every time, but yesterday was out of the ordinary for several reasons. I was probably more hungry than usual, the portion was ridiculously small and I was not full after.

What was different yesterday was that I ended up thinking the whole "men need more on their plates"-way of thinking is wrong. I think we should be given the same, or at least offered the same. I've never made a fuss before, as I guess I'm mostly happy about being invited and not having to cook.

7-8 chips!! Crazyness! To be fair my husband would have took me home via McDonald’s or given me some of his chips!

Otherwise I would also be hangry !

@Sweetaholic Haha, really? I obviously needed more calories than I was given.. I was still hungry.. DH wasn't.

@Newmumma83 DH did actually offer that, which I really appreciated, but I was too upset to accept it. Probably some pregnancy hormones playing a role here too. Had a yogurt when I got in, so all was fine in the end :)

God it's so rude and stingy to be mean with food for your guests. So inhospitable.

Remember my MiL was making a full English and asked if I’d like grapefruit. I said yes and that was all I got.

She was a secret eater, thought ladies shouldn’t over indulge, at least not in public.

@DustyMaiden Really , did you say anything? Ok, that's way worse than what happened to me!

It's totally irrelevant whether men/ pregnant women need more food, and if so how much more. It's for each person to decide how much food they want and need, not the host.

It should be served on the table for everyone to help themselves. Incredibly rude and presumptuous for the host to think they know best what everyone else's needs, appetite and tastes are.

YABU. Men do need more calories. Be grateful for what you are given and if necessary have a snack before you visit her. It's once a week for goodness sake.

In general, men also need bigger clothes than women.

What that means is that tailors/clothes manufacturers will go to their fabric suppliers and expect to provide a little more for each garment than they would for a similar median-sized woman's garment.

What they don't do, assuming they're making a run of, say, 1,000 men's and 1,000 women's winter coats, is to take 95% of the available fabric, use the lot to make the men's ones - super thick and probably treble or quadruple lined as they have all of this 'spare' fabric - and then eke the rest out to make half-length, too tight, paper-thin rubbish ones for the women and probably still charge twice as much as the men's ones because 'women are smaller, aren't they....'

Incidentally, do you also think that OP's DH should expect to need a snack to pre-load before an inadequate main meal - or is it only her who should put up and shut up?

I must say, I am very surprised that such a thread turned into a competitive orthorexia battle.

I love all this "men need much more food and lots more calories" stuff, as if one never sees an overweight man! Fucking plenty of men who could be doing with a few less chips and calories.

Snap Haunted
It didn't take long for the "I'd be soooo stuffed after 4 chips, how could you possibly eat" brigade to show up.

It's shit hosting to leave guests hungry, not about de menz needing more food, FFS. Who does this? Fucking awful and embarrassing.

I think it depends, but in general men need more food and bigger portions, my dh is tall and muscly and eats like a horse, and his dad and brothers are the same so I’d give them more than me or mil ( I’m overweight but struggle to eat big portions).

Tweeting, but there is 'bigger portions' and then there's giving a grown adult eight chips!

I'd have just said give us a chip DH, some of us are eating for two!

No need for drama.

I’m pretty sure your average pregnant woman and your average man (given they both need about 300-400 more cals per day vs the average non pregnant woman, I believe) need about the same amount of calories, give or take perhaps 50 cals either way.
It’s not really an excuse, it’s not like he got an extra slice of meat or a few extra chips. Sounds like his meal was 2-3x the size of hers! That’s ridiculous. Yanbu op

I don't know many adults who would be full after 7 chips, she was being a dick

Maybe it's just the places I eat at but the chips (chunky) tend to come in little baskets or pots and I doubt there's ever more than about 10 or 12 chips.

I'll have to count them next time

MIL is being unreasonable by giving you any chips.
You're pregnant and you can only eat healthy food. You should have had boiled potatoes.

Tut, tut.

Or baked fish and a jacket, as was 'helpfully' suggested up thread....chips are bad for you, doncha know?

I was having pie and chips for tea but i'm going to have baked fish and a jacket instead. Can't wait.

Why would anyone 'plate up' when you have no idea how much or what food items your guests want to eat? I find it really bizarre. I have the opposite problem. I don't have a large appetite and I absolutely hate being given a big plate of food that I am presumably expected to eat. Much prefer tapas, Chinese, or general sharing dishes.