an adult woman called my 9 yr old a 'wierdo' waiting outside the girls toilets....

[staydazzling]

he was waiting for me, he said he waiting for his mum, a apparently she didn't respond and walked in, im so proud of ds for sticking up for himself. but im so sad i I wasn't there, to protect him, he was confused when he told me, he is too young to understand the implication, someday he will be that devastates me. yes he is tall for his age, he is nearly 5 ft, but still, he clearly has a childs face, so at a push could be mistaken for 12, apparently she was with her teen daughter. which for some reason makes me feel he would have been more embarrassed. are we really at a point?? where a 4"10 boy, with shaggy hair, wearing a reverse sequin marvel tshirt. cant wait outside public loos for his mum without being labelled a "wierdo" hes not even old enough to understand not sure what im asking im just heartbroken, what a world we live in . hes been bery withdrawn and quiet since.

Just how “outside” was he? It’s hard to believe anyone even noticed him unless he was literally blocking the door.

That's awful. Horrible woman. It's a free country he can wait where he wants and doesn't deserve to be called names. Wish u had of herd her or been there she deserves to be called out on her horrible behaviour. Imagine insulting a child infront of her own daughter too. I dont see why he shouldn't go in the then toilet with u if he wants. He is still young and everyone is in the cubicle anyway not like u actually see anything other than folk washing their hands. She is nasty. Reassure your son and then move on. U cant track her down know to tell her she is horrible unfortunately.

FlibbertyGiblets

What I'm saying is a 12 year old waiting outside the ladies is being called a weirdo by a woman, we're in agreement that its unfair and unwarranted. It is however the way things are now. If you go to the loo then best let your other half wander off or he risks being labelled a wierdo/perv as like the woman in the original post the dafault assumption these days is weirdo/perv rather than 'bet he's waiting for his wife/daughter/sister etc'.

i know im overreacting, i do, its grinding me that hes to young to even understand what was being implied. the injustice of it, she'd left before i came out apparently i was ready to go back in and give both barrels, (not helpful i know) but yes i think i need to have a good vape,and carry on. I could understand a teeeenny amount if he was a hulking 6ft teen, but even that wouldn't excuse the rudeness really. i dont know the world is bonkers sometimes. Me and DH told DS she was clearly a most stupid woman to be totally ignored.

Personally I would try to make a bit of a joke of it. Children encounter all sorts of strange people in their lifetime potentially, so make this a learning opportunity. It sounds like Vicky Pollard was using the toilets tbh, since in my experience people who use the word 'weirdo' about anyone are usually a bit lacking. Any adult who feels the need to belittle a child IS lacking...its not just being rude, its being juvenile because picking on a child is hardly the behaviour of a well-rounded, mature adult is it. Normal people don't pick on kids, so if anyone is the weirdo then it is the woman in question.

It really depends on where else there was to wait - if he was literally right outside a toilet, and there were plenty of other appropriate places to wait a short distance away, then yes it is strange to wait right outside since it's not necessary to hang around right outside, and it could be unnerving.

An adult doesn't get the right to call a child a weirdo for doing it, and I really don't get how a nine year old can't be given the appropriate explanation - "toilets are a private gendered place, many people are worried if strangers of the gender hang around outside them, she maybe thought you were older." 'cos for sure if he can pass for a post puberty adolescent he could easily cause concern.

She was rude, but your kid can have explanations and sensible advice on how to wait for a female outside the toilets.

But you don't know what she meant, she could have been commenting on any number of things. Although still rude, she wasn't necessarily implying what you assumed.

In fairness, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 12 year old boy loitering around the female toilets if not obviously with a parent. By 12 children can be quite rude and intimidating, maybe this woman or her daughter had previous bad experiences and incorrectly assumed your son to be older than he is, or he was obstructing the door or something.

massive over reaction anyway. Move on with your lives.

The OP's DS is 9...

BigFatLiar he's 9 years old, not 12 as you keep saying.

Anyway, it's beyond me why anyone would have the slightest objection to anyone of any age waiting outside. How can it possibly be weird or perverted? It's not as though you can see anything from outside and it's obvious anyone standing there must be waiting for someone. The whole scenario is bizarre.

Jesus wept, she was the weirdo. How far is socially acceptable to wait for someone near the toilets .

DP waits outside for me in busy shopping centres or if we’re just leaving and he’s 30odd almost 6ft n heavily tattooed.. blatantly not a child waiting on their mum. Sometimes he’ll have the pram/bags or whatever so I don’t need to take them with me or sometimes he’s just quicker than me, probably cause he doesn’t wear tights or have to assess the loo before sitting

good point scooby do i need to think of a jokey angle, if he raises it, i wont unless he does.

An old friend of ours ,used to counter any sort of situation like this with the line "people are assholes! ".meaning no sense could be made of it whatsoever .I think some people are just rude /paranoid /whatever .Try no to dwell on it .In future can you use a department stores loos ?.Bit more family friendly and more people about

Where did '12 year old' come from? The thread title says he's 9.

In fairness, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 12 year old boy loitering around the female toilets if not obviously with a parent.

Why the hell not? What do you think he's going to?

Even adult men should be able to wait outside female toilets without being called a weirdo. Dh waits for me outside.

BigFatLiar he is 9 but tall 4'11, but has a young childs face, i meant he could at most pass for 12 depending on your level of disertion, thats where youve got confused i think.

Get burgers for supper and he’ll forget about it in no time.

@staydazzling

YANBU. What a horrible woman! And weird!

But what do you mean by outside, SleepyKat? There’s no need for him to stand guard on the door, that does look like lurking.
If I was waiting for dh I’d stand somewhere in the vicinity, but not literally at the door, there’s no need?

In fairness, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 12 year old boy loitering around the female toilets if not obviously with a parent.

Sorry codenameduchess , but that is very much your problem and nobody else's.

Seems a really unacceptable and uneccesary way to speak to a child. Are you sure he's telling you the whole story, OP?

YANBU to be miffed, but your reaction is a bit OTT. Just write her off as a crazy and tell your son the same.

That’s horrible, I have a tall 8 year old and he would be upset if an adult called him a weirdo

Stupid rude bitch.

So all males are weirdos, perverts and sex pests - even if they are only nine? Jesus, how twisted some people must be .

Why are so many women so quick to call other women bitches?Honestly I find that just as weird!

Exactly TonTonMacoute, its quite deranged in itself.