Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 11 12

Original poster

an adult woman called my 9 yr old a 'wierdo' waiting outside the girls toilets....

286 replies

staydazzling · 31/08/2019 14:14

he was waiting for me, he said he waiting for his mum, a apparently she didn't respond and walked in, im so proud of ds for sticking up for himself. but im so sad i I wasn't there, to protect him, he was confused when he told me, he is too young to understand the implication, someday he will be that devastates me. yes he is tall for his age, he is nearly 5 ft, but still, he clearly has a childs face, so at a push could be mistaken for 12, apparently she was with her teen daughter. which for some reason makes me feel he would have been more embarrassed. are we really at a point?? where a 4"10 boy, with shaggy hair, wearing a reverse sequin marvel tshirt. cant wait outside public loos for his mum without being labelled a "wierdo" hes not even old enough to understand not sure what im asking im just heartbroken, what a world we live in . hes been bery withdrawn and quiet since.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 18:46

“That is indeed the case, but that does not change the fact that not every male is a potential sex offender does it?”
No.
But any male- even the very nicest- can make a girl feel shy or embarrassed or uncomfortable if she feels he is looking at her going into the loo. Even though he is not actually looking at her. So- a step or two to the side, and a feigned interest in a nearby parked car. Sorted.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 31/08/2019 18:52

Oh fgs, why would a young boy waiting outside the bogs make anyone uncomfortable? I have two, 7 and 11 and they have to wait for me in service stations. There are usually people waiting, blokes, women, kids. She must have a very difficult life if she finds fault with this sort of thing.

amandacarnet · 31/08/2019 18:54

There are a lot of strange people in the world who say all kind of things in passing to strangers. Forget this and teach your DC toput it behind them.

IncrediblySadToo · 31/08/2019 18:54

The way things are going, she’s going to have to get over it very quickly!! Stupid rude woman

Why does it matter if he 9 or 90... he was waiting OUTSIDE the toilets

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 18:55

It depends- as I have said several times, how he was waiting. In, or very close to the doorway- not OK. A step or two away looking in the other direction - absolutely fine. And I would say the same about a girl waiting outside the men’s.

Baguetteaboutit · 31/08/2019 18:56

So- a step or two to the side, and a feigned interest in a nearby parked car.

It's a lot to expect a nine year old to perform that level of disinterest and understand the reason why whilst at the same time understand the importance of not being so distracted that they naff off completely and get themselves lost.

Aprillygirl · 31/08/2019 18:57

But any male- even the very nicest- can make a girl feel shy or embarrassed or uncomfortable if she feels he is looking at her going into the loo. Even though he is not actually looking at her. So- a step or two to the side, and a feigned interest in a nearby parked car. Sorted.

I don't disagree with that, but as *OP's son is 9 years old I doubt very much he had a menacing air about him, and if he was blocking the doorway the woman just needed to say excuse me not call him a weirdo ffs.

SummerHouse · 31/08/2019 18:59

Lots of weirdos out there. This woman was one of them.

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 18:59

“he was blocking the doorway the woman just needed to say excuse me not call him a weirdo ffs“
Of course. She completely over reacted. But it’s a good learning opportunity for the boy “Yes, she was an arsehole [or age appropriate epithet] but here’s how you can make sure it doesn’t t happen again.”

Pharlapwasthebest · 31/08/2019 18:59

@staydazzling
Yes, although I will start letting the 12 year old soon. You just don’t know who is in there.
I maybe a bit of a over-worrier but, I don’t really care.

missyB1 · 31/08/2019 19:00

Dear God are their really grown women who are so intimidated by a 9 year old boy waiting outside the toilet for his mam that they can’t say “excuse me” if they need to get past?

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:02

“Dear God are their really grown women who are so intimidated by a 9 year old boy waiting outside the toilet for his mam that they can’t say “excuse me” if they need to get past?“

Probably not. But there are certainly 9 year old girls who can’t.

bengalcat · 31/08/2019 19:02

The weirdo is her .

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:03

“I maybe a bit of a over-worrier but, I don’t really care.”

You do understand that what you are saying is that you don’t really care about the competition Bd privacy of girls?

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:04

*comfort and privacy- not competition.

CarolineKate · 31/08/2019 19:05

I feel so sorry for your son 😔. My heart breaks for you both. Have you spoken with him about it since? Maybe say that not all adults are nice. Some adults say mean things. That it is bullying and nothing he did would have changed it.

Aprillygirl · 31/08/2019 19:06

Of course. She completely over reacted. But it’s a good learning opportunity for the boy “Yes, she was an arsehole [or age appropriate epithet] but here’s how you can make sure it doesn’t t happen again.”

I can't believe that a little boy is called a names by a stranger for the crime of waiting for his mum outside a public toilet and it's him that needs to learn a lesson. Jesus fucking Christ it's like a different planet on this forum sometimes!

missyB1 · 31/08/2019 19:07

probably not but there are certainly 9 year old girls that cant
Then they obviously aren’t old enough or confident enough to go out and about by themselves. At 9 all of my kids knew how to say excuse me if someone was in their way. I wonder how these girls manage at school if someone is in their way in the dining room or classroom? 🤔

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:11

“him that needs to learn a lesson. Jesus fucking Christ it's like a different planet on this forum sometimes!”
He needs to know not to hang around in the doorway or peer in. Both of which the OP suggests he might have been doing. If he wasn’t -fine. If he was- it’s a good time for him to learn not to.

MsTSwift · 31/08/2019 19:11

I how you are not communicating your upset to him? Sadly our kids are going to have to deal with all sorts of odd unpleasant types when outvsnd about (and girls sexual harassment ) so up to us to teach them to be resilient and let the unreasonable opinions of randoms upset them.

MsTSwift · 31/08/2019 19:12

Not let obv

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:13

“I wonder how these girls manage at school if someone is in their way in the dining room or classroom?”

Neither of these are places where they have an expectation of an all female space. If they have to ask a boy to move so they can get into the loo, he is in a all female space, and he shouldn’t be.

Original poster

staydazzling · 31/08/2019 19:13

I WAS NOT THERE, i was in the loo, it doesn't make it ok to verbally abuse a child.

OP posts:

Aprillygirl · 31/08/2019 19:17

He needs to know not to hang around in the doorway or peer in. Both of which the OP suggests he might have been doing. If he wasn’t -fine. If he was- it’s a good time for him to learn not to.

OP was bulldozed into saying that could have been the case rather than suggesting it though wasn't she?

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2019 19:17

She absolutely shouldn't have abused him.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 11 12