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Original poster

an adult woman called my 9 yr old a 'wierdo' waiting outside the girls toilets....

286 replies

staydazzling · 31/08/2019 14:14

he was waiting for me, Sad he said he waiting for his mum, a apparently she didn't respond and walked in, im so proud of ds for sticking up for himself. but im so sad i I wasn't there, to protect him, he was confused when he told me, he is too young to understand the implication, someday he will be that devastates me. yes he is tall for his age, he is nearly 5 ft, but still, he clearly has a childs face, so at a push could be mistaken for 12, apparently she was with her teen daughter. which for some reason makes me feel he would have been more embarrassed. are we really at a point?? where a 4"10 boy, with shaggy hair, wearing a reverse sequin marvel tshirt. cant wait outside public loos for his mum without being labelled a "wierdo" hes not even old enough to understand SadAngry not sure what im asking im just heartbroken, what a world we live in Sad. hes been bery withdrawn and quiet since.

OP posts:
Kublai · 01/09/2019 19:46

What a horrible experience, I still take my 11yr old DS to the loo with me and have never had a comment (he is only 135cm). One day we went out with his more average sized friend and got a comment from someone about him being old enough to look after himself. I couldn’t believe it and felt sorry for the more mature looking kids! I am over-protective of my son because he only looks about 8/9.

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 19:49

Why do people think girls should have to put up with secondary age boys in women’s loos?

Dieu · 01/09/2019 19:53

Och, poor wee guy.
And what a nasty bitch she was. Great example for her daughter too Hmm
Please let your boy know that we think she's the weirdo!
Thanks

Kublai · 01/09/2019 19:54

Boys are at risk going to toilets by themselves from perverts. Girls are not at risk from 11 yr olds and their mums in a loo. I am a mother to both boys and girls and have never let my children go into public toilets alone until they are 14/15.

exaltedwombat · 01/09/2019 19:56

I douby this episode has scarred him THAT deeply. But it might, if YOU can't let it go.

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 19:56

“I am a mother to both boys and girls and have never let my children go into public toilets alone until they are 14/15.”
What do they do when they are out on their own? Let me guess- you don’t let them do that either.

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 20:00

They’d presumably be with friends? Few teenagers enjoy mooning about by themselves.

Kublai · 01/09/2019 20:01

They go out on their own but only to friends or relatives houses where there are toilets. Truth is that 10/11/13 year olds are prime targets for perverts and they are at risk, even more so if they are skinny and look young for their age.

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 20:02

So a 15 year old is never alone. Blimey.

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 20:04

15 year olds travel in packs, Bert. Haven’t you met any?!

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 20:05

“They go out on their own but only to friends or relatives houses where there are toilets.”

At 15? Bloody hell.

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 20:06

And ironically they are much more at risk in friends and family’s houses than the are in public loos!

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 20:08

Maybe in the days of women’s loos being strictly for women...

Moo5ele55 · 01/09/2019 20:08

How does that work if you know friends and family well?Confused

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 20:10

Scrub that, I read it wrong

lifeisaball · 01/09/2019 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

berlinbabylon · 01/09/2019 20:16

Why do people think girls should have to put up with secondary age boys in women’s loos

I don't but I think they can cope with boys and men waiting outside for their female relatives and friends.

Have a few concerns about this poster (previously banned) so having a look behind the scenes After 11 pages? Quick work there.

lifeisaball · 01/09/2019 20:17

@berlinbabylon don't be so blinking rude

Moo5ele55 · 01/09/2019 20:18

Concerns about who, OP?Hmm

hazeyjane · 01/09/2019 20:19

Wrt your 11 year old, what does height matter.... I wouldn't take my 9 year old in the ladies with me (he has special needs and is only 117cm tall). Nothing to do with young boys being dangerous, but I am teaching him about boundaries. His sisters are 12 and 13, they would be mortified to go to the toilet with a boy of a similar age in there.

PinkP65 · 01/09/2019 20:35

My initial thought is that if I had been there without my daughter, and saw the boy, I would have paid little attention. In my own mind, I would have known he was waiting for his mother. Kids never wait for no reason, and no young boy is going to stand around the stalls waiting for someone to get weird with.

However, if I had walked into the restrooms with my young daughter, I would have noticed him in a potentially threatening way, and would want to demonstrate to my daughter that they should not be in there. I would have told her after we got outside, to always pay attention to scenarios like that.

I think this other woman is emotionally-socially inept in an inappropriate way and would also display similar faux-pas around others on a daily basis. People like that react instantly and do not see how others feel, they merely see/hear and make knee-jerk reactions to things they do not understand fully. Seriously, there are people who would never be able to change that behavior, as that is how they are wired.

In her case, yes, she was short-sighted and did not know how to clam-up the belittling comment to a young boy. Hopefully you explained to your son why she said that, to show her daughter it was something to be aware of, but to point out that this was just a young boy waiting for his mother this time.

So unfortunate you both had to go through that.

formerbabe · 01/09/2019 21:00

However, if I had walked into the restrooms with my young daughter, I would have noticed him in a potentially threatening way, and would want to demonstrate to my daughter that they should not be in there. I would have told her after we got outside, to always pay attention to scenarios like that

How completely hysterical of you. Scenarios like what?! A child in a public space waiting for his mother?!

Moo5ele55 · 01/09/2019 21:05

A 9 year old waiting hit his mother outside the loos is threatening behaviour. I’ve heard it all now.Shock

Flamingle18 · 01/09/2019 21:22

I have this problem as my 6 year old is 4ft 6 and people think he's much older so get comments or frowned at if I have to take him into toilets with me. I don't feel comfortable letting him go into the mens on his own and once when I let him stand outside briefly I came out to him being quizzed!
Im glad your son stood up for himself

Anonmummyoftwo · 01/09/2019 22:34

Even if he was a grown man of 30 waiting outside a female toilet for a family member she was a cow.

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