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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

an adult woman called my 9 yr old a 'wierdo' waiting outside the girls toilets....

286 replies

staydazzling · 31/08/2019 14:14

he was waiting for me, Sad he said he waiting for his mum, a apparently she didn't respond and walked in, im so proud of ds for sticking up for himself. but im so sad i I wasn't there, to protect him, he was confused when he told me, he is too young to understand the implication, someday he will be that devastates me. yes he is tall for his age, he is nearly 5 ft, but still, he clearly has a childs face, so at a push could be mistaken for 12, apparently she was with her teen daughter. which for some reason makes me feel he would have been more embarrassed. are we really at a point?? where a 4"10 boy, with shaggy hair, wearing a reverse sequin marvel tshirt. cant wait outside public loos for his mum without being labelled a "wierdo" hes not even old enough to understand SadAngry not sure what im asking im just heartbroken, what a world we live in Sad. hes been bery withdrawn and quiet since.

OP posts:
Original poster
staydazzling · 01/09/2019 22:42

previously banned? thats news to me? Hmm

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 23:09

“How does that work if you know friends and family well?”

Those are the people most likely to abuse your children. Obviously, they aren’t very likely to abuse them, but they are more likely to than anyone else.

Kate0902900908 · 02/09/2019 00:27

People in this world are sick and disgusting
I'm sorry but your son sounds obviously a child. What an awful women. I would explain to your son simply
Some people don't even like boys being near girls toilets they get very silly and upset but you did nothing wrong don't let it bother you it won't happen again.

Xxx

Moo5ele55 · 02/09/2019 06:26

So going to a house of a parent you have known for years to be a safe reliable adult accompanied by friends is not as safe as going into a toilet alone where any number of adults you don’t know will be in a space that could quite obviously be attractive to those with wrong intentions.

No still not getting it.

Fowles94 · 02/09/2019 07:33

My 29 year old partner waits outside the toilet if we're out and and about and visa versa. God forbid someone say that to one of us and they'll soon regret it. It's totally normal to wait outside the toilet for another person.

BertrandRussell · 02/09/2019 07:41

@Moo5ele55 the number of children being abused in public loos is vanishingly small. The number of children being abused in the houses of family and friends is still small- but much higher. And a teenager would have a pretty restricted life if they only ever went to houses where their parents had known the adults for years. It would rule out most secondary school socialising for a start.

SimplyBeBlythe · 02/09/2019 07:52

As others have said - a child is sadly more likely to be abused by someone they know and trust than by a stranger. Just the incidents involving strangers tend to make the news more.
As for the actual incident, I would have encouraged DS to forget about it by now. Some people are just odd - he needs to understand this and be able to brush it off.

MummyMayo1988 · 02/09/2019 11:00

My DS will be 10 end of this year and he's nearly as tall as me! I frequently wait outside the mens loo for him - he refused to come in with me at age 5!
He doesn't wait for me tho! 🤣 just goes back to his dad!

Obviously it's not nice that she called your son a weirdo and I'd be angry at the time.
My DS probably wouldnt care tbh - hes wonderfully weird and I always tell him hes MY weird and I love him for it! He makes life soo incredibly funny and his weirdness often gets me through the day!

WilkosWanderer · 02/09/2019 11:06

Not defending the lass at all, but was the toilet one of those two doors with a tunnel in between, if so was your DS possibly in there?

funinthesun19 · 04/09/2019 23:15

There is a bracket when boys/ girls are too old to go in with mum/ dad but not yet old enough to be self responsible in busy cities. Child safety trumps anything else I’m afraid.A bit of empathy wouldn’t go amiss.

Exactly. My 8 year old son has only just started to use the men’s toilets. He’s growing in independence but he’s still in that in between stage at the moment.
And in a busy city I would be worried about going in to the women’s and leaving him on his own. Especially since the women’s queue always takes fucking forever.

The mum did the best she could, the kid didn’t go in but still you have to bang on about girls budging up.

Another good point. He was standing outside the toilets. Nobody was budging up for anyone. Fact.

SoleBizzz · 04/09/2019 23:22

Maybe they were talking about someone else?

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