To not speak to my husband over Brexit!

[telvg]

So does anyone virtually want a divorce because their partner agrees with No Deal? I feel like telling my husband, when we have no money and food prices are sky high, or if someone we know can’t get medicine they need, that it’s his fault for supporting Brexit and No Deal. I don’t understand why people are so short sighted and can’t see the bigger picture. Everyone my age (mid 40s) and younger, who went to University, is anti Brexit, or at least anti No Deal. Even the most staunch, Middle Class over 60s, don’t support No Deal. The only ones who do, appear to be uneducated, ignorant or racist, homophonic, sexist etc type people. So why does my husband agree with it? I feel he’s not the man I married. So am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

You seem so very judgmental, how dare he have a different opinion to you. See it from his point of view too, he’s likely feeling the same. If you want to survive as a couple put politics aside

You want a divorce over brexit? Jesus!

Me and the wife never talk about it and I don't know which way she voted and don't want to know. I haven't said how I voted either. It's nobody's business.

Ha ha. Even as someone who voted remain can see these type of threads, opinions just make some remainer people look stupid.

I accepted the decision the very same day as the result and am now enthusiastically for Brexit. Despite voting remain, I am more pro democracy and anything other than leaving after the largest political vote in this countries history would be a total pisstake and make a mockery of the whole process of voting.

Anyone disposed to being pro EU should respect the vote and campaign to rejoin but only after the first one is actioned.

It’s shame it’s descended to such a low point but blame the opposition for that. And if people want to scrap it they should say so rather than hide behind wanting a better deal. At least Corbyn isn’t trying hard to hide he’s a Brexiteer. Remain people should just demand it’s off rather than people’s vote 2nd referendum shite.

If my husband had voted Leave and now supported No Deal it would have killed our marriage.
My political and social values are a huge part of who I am. The same is true of my husband and our marriage is built on that so we'd clearly no longer be remotely compatible. I respect that many (most) people can live with someone with differing political views and I could live with some differences, voting for different parties for example, but not this one. I would feel my husband was a complete stranger to me and everything I thought I knew about him must be false.

We have family and friends who have been adversely affected, particularly by the increase in xenophobia and racism in the country. If my husband thought that any of that was worth a No Deal...ugh!

Maybe if anyone I know who supports No Deal had could articulate tangible reasons for it that outlined clear benefits for the nation, I'd think differently. But it all seems to be about vague notions of sovereignty, regardless of any negative impact.

It wouldn't be about an inability to respect differing opinions. It would be about whether my husband was the man I thought he was, and the core, shared values that our marriage is built on being shattered.

I didn't go to university and I voted remain and I find your post rude.

I know a few accountants and financial advisors and 100% all that I know are happy to leave with a no deal. I am not sure what I am missing but I am resigned to it

Thankfully one of those is my dad and I have let him know that if it goes tits up, I will be borrowing money off him to survive

Maybe the vote has just highlighted things about your husband that indicate that you have different values and principles than you realised.

I found out after seeing a picture of a relative posing with Nigel Farage that they had voted leave. I had no clue previously of his attitudes because we'd never had that kind of discussion but it turned out that they voted for leave because of the Romanians. This relative is an educated middle class person with a professional job.

I will never see him in the same light again. This is what makes many Remainers feel so depressed. Because so many people don't have a decent argument and when questioned after a half-hearted mention of sovereignty, the NHS and being able to make trade deals with Donald Trump (oh joy!) so often it does come down to immigration. And they don't seem to see that while that might make them feel fine about no-deal, for many of us that's a shit reason to suffer an economic downturn, job losses, increases in bureaucracy with our closest trading nations, a loss of an economic trading block with the benefits that confers, the greater obstacles to collaboration of scientific research (see Brian Cox on this), the probable loss of workers' rights (do you think a BJ government gives a fig about the working person's conditions?), the probable loss of consumer protection, animal welfare, pollution controls (ditto a BJ government)etc, etc. So no I'm not going to share the view that because some people are fine with all the repercussions of no deal Brexit that I should simply suck it up.

So OP YANBU.

The thing is leave voters don’t owe you a justification Carthage. They don’t have to justify anything. Because everyone’s vote should be equal unless we adopt the far left whinge about how old people shouldn’t be allowed to vote, or thick people (do we police it by formal education results or IQ tests?), or whoever is deemed to be a Nazi or racist with no truly credible evidence.

People with learning disabilities shouldn’t be allowed to vote for example. Or anyone young with a terminal illness because they on their death beds similarly to the gammon pensioners

And for fuck sake about Brian Cox and scientific research. Other non EU countries manage to do it as did we before we joined. And I’m not just talking about ‘doing’ research but collaborating.

If we still can’t do that then it’s a fault with everyone’s politicians and scientific bodies. The US and Russia managed to build the International Space Station together and run joint missions whilst remaining political enemies. Not sure what Britain or the other EU countries contributed but what we did do was probably a minor one (discounting the Nazi rocket scientists who ended up working for NASA)

I’ll bite. I’m mid 40’s, read Economics at university and have worked in investment banking for 20yrs. My job is to advise FTSE 250 clients on risk management and have done nothing but discuss Brexit, professionally, for the last 3yrs. I voted leave and fully support no deal. I’m not ignorant, uneducated, racist etc.

Maybe not but I'm going to bet, being an investment banker and all, that you're not an average wage earner and will be alright (jack) whatever the outcome?

I think Boris is doing an excellent job and I have every confidence we will leave the EU on 31st October

I still don't want to leave the EU because I voted stay but I am trying to accept that Boris will get us a good deal

That's really difficult op. I would really struggle with this. Do you feel you don't really know him like you thought you did? Is he just reacting to others as it strikes me that many 'no deal' people are just reactionary and that is why they can't give valid arguments for their stance. 'You voted that so I'm doing the opposite '. Is he annoyed at you too for not supporting his view'?

The investment banks were massively remain and donated considerable funds for it. And you won’t be a high salaried alright Jack when you have no job.

Pretty much the whole of big business was in favour of remain except a few outliers. That’s not a criticism by the way - most love referring to this as they believe it portrays what they consider the lunancy of leaving. But let’s not pretend the leave vote is the nasty ‘rich’. It’s acknowledged by almost everyone that those who voted leave were from the less well off sections of society comparatively to the remain vote

Remainers really do think they walk around with a halo. Get over yourself. It’s pathetic and it’s you that sounds uneducated.

Read the thread 'today I cried over racism' and then say 'it's done, move on, what's all the fuss about'! YANBU op.

My Dad and Aunt voted leave so every time I see them I tell them it is their fault the country is in such a mess lol

Still on the subject of Brexit - John is starting to get on my nerves with all his interference - I wish Boris had the power to sack this odious little man

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7412515/Remainer-Bercow-kept-scheming-holiday-Med-paradise-plotting-Tory-rebels.html

I like the look of the resort where John is staying, I might make enquiries about stopping there next year.

I would hate to be married to someone like you. You sound like a bigoted fun sponge who takes life far too seriously.

You and your DH should go out for dinner tonight and have a few drinks. Have a laugh. Don't talk to him about Brexit. There is more to life.

If I were your husband, I’d actually leave you OP. You sound incredibly bigoted, and not actually that bright (as is anybody unwilling to accept the opinions and thought processes of others).

I wonder if this is Jack's wife?

Thanks Edwin bear that's reassuring.
Don't let this get between you OP. The marriage is more important than Brexit.
My son and his wife voted opposite ways and are very happy together. They never discuss politics at home.

Great @edwinbear, please tell us why you think no deal is a great idea. I mean this genuinely, not in a goady way. I would love some reassurance from someone intelligeny that a no deal won’t be a bad thing, but I’ve heard nothing concrete. All I hear from others is “the people voted, let’s just get on with it!”

I get what you mean. Its almost not even about brexit, it's about the realisation that someone you love could have fundamental ideas that you feel the opposite about and that's a lot to deal with a

I hope you've not been upset by some of the flaming on here. I always tend to say anything about brexit because some of the things leavers say really upset me.

OP as you’ve not graced us with a reply yet I’ll ask another question...

You find out your dentist, hairdresser, optician, butcher and the solicitor you’re using to divorce your dh all voted to leave.

Do you end up with toothache, split ends, unclear vision, vegetarian and still married to your leave voter husband or do you accept it’s not the 1930s and people are allowed to rub along together with differing opinions.

Surely BECAUSE there was a voted- albeit a while ago you and your dh exercised your own thought out opinions.

As I said before - I love my husband but he is his own person and I am mine. I love him regardless of his vote not based upon any vote. Would you go nc with any adult dc who voted differently? I doubt it.

In 5 years when all the hoo ha has moved on regardless of the outcome do you want to be sitting with the man you love or not?

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. I like the fact that my DH and I have similar interests, come from a similar background and our political leanings are pretty much aligned.
If my DH had voted leave and to cap it off wanted a no deal Brexit then it would certainly would have made me think much much less of him.