To not speak to my husband over Brexit!

[telvg]

So does anyone virtually want a divorce because their partner agrees with No Deal? I feel like telling my husband, when we have no money and food prices are sky high, or if someone we know can’t get medicine they need, that it’s his fault for supporting Brexit and No Deal. I don’t understand why people are so short sighted and can’t see the bigger picture. Everyone my age (mid 40s) and younger, who went to University, is anti Brexit, or at least anti No Deal. Even the most staunch, Middle Class over 60s, don’t support No Deal. The only ones who do, appear to be uneducated, ignorant or racist, homophonic, sexist etc type people. So why does my husband agree with it? I feel he’s not the man I married. So am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

I had lunch wit a brexiteer yesterday - I voted remain . I calmly explained how even the process has affected our business quite badly and how if there are duty /import tarrifs that we will lose money ( we can not put prices up to cover this as we are on fixed price contracts) . what will happen is we will lose profits and have to lay people off. She said she never understood that part of the bigger picture . She also acknowledged that because we will need to increase civil servants to cope with immigration/imports / border control that any money saved can not go all go into the NHS . I also listened to her point of view . But at the end of it we did not fall out . We did not call each other names . We just acknowledged that there is a great unknown out there and that is very damaging and all we both want is it all over and done with now . So we can concentrate on moving forward with other things that need sorting in the country . I don't see the need to fall out . Just have a bit of understab=nding because the truth is no one really knows what the outcome will be . Because it is a hugely complex subject and the man on the street does NOT know all the answers . But lets just get on with it now and face the consequences . Personally I blame the millions who did not vote in such an important decision , plus the fact we have an opposition party who have never explained what they actually stand for . But I would say another vote is the LAST thing we need . The country needs to move forward not keep flailing in the quicksand.

What would a “decent deal” look like?

That'll be the deal where they give us everything we want (Michael Gove), and it'll all be sorted out over a cup of coffee (David Davis), because Germany need to sell us BMWs(Boris Johnson) and we hold all the cards (Michael Gove).

I am quite sure there are many people who support no deal who are not uneducated, like my husband. But from the people I know, virtually no one my age does support it, other than him.

Why do you care so much about what other people think and their ages? Why not discuss the merits with your husband and agree to disagree if you have a difference of opinion on this matter?

You seem a bit fixated on the fact that your husband has a different view to other people you know of a similar age

I refuse to talk to leave voters, whether they be former friends or family.

read Economics at university and have worked in investment banking for 20yrs

My FIL is the same except he has worked in investment banking for almost 40 years. He thinks Brexit and no deal are an abysmal idea, I agree.

Wow what a nasty comment implying that if you didnt go to university you must have voted Brexit, and that if you did go to university you would not have voted Brexit. Bigoted or what. Lots of people I know did go to university and voted Brexit

I support no deal, bearing in mind that this whole disaster can now be laid form.y at the feet of MPs who had three opportunities to vote for a deal, but believe they know better than the ordinary person on the street, and only believe in democracy when it suits them

How dare you assume that I am uneducated, racist, homophobic etc

You are truly a nasty remainer

I don't think you're unreasonable. I don't respect anyone who is in favour of no deal, and I don't think love can survive without respect.

@NoddyAndBessie. Get over yourself. That’s pathetic!!

However it seems likely that the biggest arseholes, racists, bigots of this country are pro-Brexit

Unironically ascribes personal moral inferiority to over 17 million people regardless of their rationales and uses the word "bigots".

you seriously think everyone who voted and wants a no deal uneducated? You sound pretty uneducated making sweeping ignorant statements like that..... and you potentially want to divorce your husband because he supports a no deal? Errrr....ok.

Suppose it shows that some remainers are irrational judgemental twats who have no concept of real issues that have affected real families for decades and who may see a way out, no matter how radical that way is. Or that citizens were given a remain/leave question and the majority voted leave and mostly couldn't give a fuck what the result was, as with most votes.
Leave won, end of story for leavers, remainers chuntering on ever since.

Oh, no bleating from leave voters wanting to leave their remainer spouses either. Telling.

He’s allowed his own opinion

We’ve delegated power to a bunch of, well, twats.

Best to forget it. You house isn’t the House of Commons. You don’t need to debate this shit. Nobody really knows the answers and ordinary people have no further say. It’s best to get on with something useful.

I totally believe you are @edwinbear but when people of your standing don’t actually articulate why that’s the case, it doesn’t fill those of us with similar levels of education and intelligence but who don’t support no deal with confidence when you don’t explain why you support ND.

OP I’d find it really difficult to be married to someone who had such opposing political views to me. We don’t agree on everything and have plenty of political debate, but if he’d voted leave he just wouldn’t be the person I thought he was and I’d find it really hard to get over :(

@LatteLove

We don’t agree on everything and have plenty of political debate, but if he’d voted leave he just wouldn’t be the person I thought he was and I’d find it really hard to get over.

All the LOLz ...

I think you should join your friends and sit in a road or wave a blue flag with stars on it pretending to cry when interviewed on television and leave him to enjoy some peace and quiet.

@ReginaldMolehusband

Suppose it shows that some remainers are irrational judgemental twats who have no concept of real issues that have affected real families for decades and who may see a way out, no matter how radical that way is.

Or that citizens were given a remain/leave question and the majority voted leave and mostly couldn't give a fuck what the result was, as with most votes.

Leave won, end of story for leavers, remainers chuntering on ever since.

This. I can't believe the behaviour of some remainers. Totally batshit. Never known anything like this in my life. You'd think the UK was going to fall off the planet the way they go on.

@user1493759849 drunk?

Not sure why you’re wasting energy laughing over a hypothetical situation otherwise?....

If you’re going to accuse people of being uneducated and ignorant you should at least know that the correct word is homophobic and not homophonic. Pot, kettle?

from the people I know, virtually no one my age does support it, other than him

Around 50% of 45 year olds who voted, voted Brexit

Your social circle does seem rather limited

Oh, no bleating from leave voters wanting to leave their remainer spouses either. Telling

This

Also, goady as fuck thread.

The only ones who do, appear to be uneducated, ignorant or racist, homophonic, sexist etc type people.
I think Leave voters are a little like Conservative voters, insofar as many of them are reluctant to express how they voted in politically diverse company, for fear of negative judgment.

In my experience, which based on there being 17m Leave voters cannot be representative, it's only the racist, homophobic or conspiracy-minded ones who are vocal about it....but I only know 4 people who freely say that they voted Leave (compared to about 100 remain voters). I likely know many 'quiet' Leave voters who aren't like the other 4.

It's probably different in different social circles.

I am educated to postgrad level in a professional, strategic role and am considered bright by my friends, family and colleagues, I voted leave and support no deal.

My dh is also very bright, he has always supported remain. 3 years ago, during the referendum campaign we did fall out over it at times but now just don't discuss it, and have moved on. I think if you would consider divorcing over someone's stance in Brexit then your marriage isn't that strong, and if it's not this then something else will break it.

I'm self confident enough in my own intelligence to not care if people assume leavers are stupid / uneducated / racists / gammon etc, I just assume that the people who have to hurl these insults are just easily influenced and sheep-like, as even if you want to remain or have a second referendum, that's obviously not the way to win the argument.

My friends are mostly remainers but not the shrill, rude ones that insult people because of their political beliefs. The handful of fellow leavers I know are very sharp, well informed, critical thinkers.

I am not sure why people think that political differences would not matter in a marriage, or should not matter.

Political views if they are distant enough show a difference in values and principles, which can be a real problem in a marriage.

Not wanting to share your life with somebody whose principles and values are not what you thought they were and too far from yours is not bigoted at all, it's just normal.

Political differences are not like your taste in ice-cream, after all, they are related to what we consider important and valuable, they say something about a person.

Of course, disagreeing on Brexit does not necessarily mean your values and principles are so distant, you may be reaching a different conclusion starting form similar premises, but again, it might mean you are too different, it's hard to tell without knowing what your reasons are.

If my DH supported Brexit because he didn't like immigrants or want them here, it would be a deal breaker for me, if he supported Brexit because he thought Britain could be better governed outside of the EU, I'd disagree, but could respect his point of view.

Oh, no bleating from leave voters wanting to leave their remainer spouses either. Telling.

Rather a crucial difference though, isn’t there? Remainers didn’t vote for something destructive, divisive and non-sensical.

My dad voted for Brexit. As much as I love him I find it very difficult to know that he voted for something that will - or, at least, most likely will - significantly impact on the prospects, quality of life, health and prosperity of his children and grandchildren. That he was willing to take that gamble at all - basically because he doesn’t like Muslims or Eastern Europeans- is hard to accept.