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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To invite people around MIL’s house while housesitting

244 replies

KissyThief · 29/08/2019 11:17

So this has proper annoyed me:

So my mil is going on holiday for a week and has asked my dh and the family to housesit and look after the dogs while they’re away. My mil just said keep the place tidy, walk and feed the dogs and treat the place like your home.

So I said to my dh that at the weekend if the weather is nice we can have a bbq and planned to surprise my partner with his best friend and family coming round as a belated birthday thing (we were skint for his birthday 6 weeks ago and it’s made me feel so guilty).

Anyway I ended up telling dh and things have completely blown up saying that the dogs won’t cope with new people and my mum wouldn’t like people she doesn’t know being in her house. And I’m just like the dogs coped during my ds1 first birthday party when we had around my mil’s and she said treat it like your home?

AIBU?

OP posts:
FelicisNox · 30/08/2019 20:50

Hopefully @KissyThief you have read this thread and respected your DH opinion (he knows MIL better than you).

YABTU so don't even think about it.

You want to host a BBQ/party, do it at your own house.

BossAssBitch · 30/08/2019 20:53

I see this place is as batshit as usual. The OP wants to ask her dh’s best mate and his family for a bbq. Without booze. Hardly the last days of Rome Confused

And whoever said this Well that's a stupid thing to say not drinking doesn't make it any less of a party wtf it totally makes it a non party Grin

Jeeperscreepers69 · 30/08/2019 21:14

How cheeky. What you did was out of order. Treat the house like your own is a polite term. I would be furious if my daughter in law did that. Infact she wouldnt she has commen sense and good manners. My god your hubby must be a right soft cock. My son would of gone ballistic.

RosesAndRaindrops · 30/08/2019 21:17

My god your hubby must be a right soft cock

To be fair, her DH sounds like he's alright as he's said no that she wouldn't like it. OP seems to think that means he's being a meanie and so come to ask MN if it's alright instead..... err, NO! lol

BenjiB · 30/08/2019 21:19

No, I’d be furious if someone did that to me.

RabbitPied · 30/08/2019 21:22

Well that's a stupid thing to say not drinking doesn't make it any less of a party wtf it totally makes it a non party 

You haven't been to a Muslim wedding then?

SD1978 · 30/08/2019 21:25

Without permission from her- no way. Treat the place as your own. Is very different from use my house to entertain your friends. This would be a thing I'd expect to be asked if you were house sitting for me.

Floopily · 30/08/2019 21:36

I hate strangers in my house, and have a dog that is terrified of anyone she doesn't know (rescue / badly treated). So if I was the MIL I would not be at all happy, and it sounds like DH knows how his mum would feel. I also know many people for whom it wouldn't be an issue at all so it really is horses for courses. If your DH thinks this is a problem I would say you are BU to ignore his feelings on this.

ilovepixie · 30/08/2019 22:53

So basically your having a house party while your parents are on holiday! Are you a teenager!!! Go for it lol.

kaytee87 · 30/08/2019 22:55

No, it's not ok.

Aridane · 30/08/2019 23:58

You asked your DH, who said MIL wouldn't like strangers in her house and that the dogs won't cope. That should have been the end of that. Especially since you said the party was for him. He doesn't sound keen, so why would you do it?

Have a get-together at your own house.

Aridane · 30/08/2019 23:59

.

This

Aridane · 30/08/2019 23:59

PS. I love cheeky fucker threads where the OP,is the unwitting CF

Aridane · 31/08/2019 00:09

Regardless of what other people on here think, if you've already raised it with your DH and he has said that he's certain his mother wouldn't like it, doesn't that answer your question?

Stop being sensible!

RedSoloCup · 31/08/2019 00:21

I'm a bit 😮 as we've done this many times ILs house is much bigger, first time was a BBQ for my 25th while house sitting (I'm now in 40s), no damage was ever done or mess left and MIL knew I imagine as SIL and BIL came along or were always invited.

I suppose it depends what kind of friends, mine are all respectful so there is no issue.

Aridane · 31/08/2019 00:47

Difference here is t hat DP knows his parents and their preferences and OP doesn't care

glennamy · 31/08/2019 02:06

How close is MIL's home? Can you have the BBQ at yours and return same night?

EdnaAdaSmith · 31/08/2019 07:24

Jeeperscreepers69 your son "would have gone ballistic" if your DIL had suggested having his best friend and his wife and children over for a barbecue at your house? He would have "gone ballistic" at the suggestion? And you think that's good, you feel maternal pride and a bit boasty about this trait your son has for flying off the handle if his wife suggests something he thinks isn't a good idea? You think that the OP's husband is "a soft cock" for simply saying no calmly and failing to "go ballistic" Hmm

Bloody hell. Your DIL has bigger problems than where to have a barbecue...

Harls1969 · 01/09/2019 09:56

Just ask MIL first. But as DH really doesn't seem up for it anyway, why bother?

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