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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think the police were out of order?

553 replies

Cailleachian · 29/08/2019 00:13

DS1 (18) has chronic insomnia. A about 6 month back, he started taking nightwalks as a way of wearing himself out and clearing his mind. Sometimes DS2 (17) keeps him company, Tonight, they went out for a walk about 11pm and about 1/2hour later DS2 came bolting in the door, shouting "Mum, Mum, its the police". My first thought was that one of them had got in a fight or been hurt.

I answered the door and a male and female police officer are standing there with DS1. The man asks to come in, telling me that he is here to charge DS2 with breach of the peace.

It transpires that they were stopped by the woman, who was questioning them about why they were walking about and whether they were from a "unit"(?!) when the man came over and started shouting at them and demanding to search them. DS1 was searched, but when DS2 was searched apparently he kept backing away, at which point the man grabbed his hands and pinned him against a wall. DS2 then swore at him repeatedly. Thoughout being told this DS2 is very upset, keeps interrupting the man over minutiae (and at times I felt like was trying to sort out DS1 and DS2's squabbles), but ultimately both of them agree that this is what happened.

In the end he didnt charge him, but to be honest, I'm a bit outraged that he even considered it. I dont know why my sons were stopped (acting suspiciously, out late at night while under 18, area where breakins happen were all reasons I was given). I dont know why he wasnt able to de-escalate a stop and search without physical aggression. And above all I dont understand why he thought it was a child protection issue, given that the only person that assaulted him in the street at night was the policeman himself.

Go-on Mumsnet, give me your best pearl clutching.

OP posts:
ProfessorSlocombe · 01/09/2019 10:50

@ThatCurlyGirl

Who on earth do you think you are to demand answers of me ? With a passive-aggressive "When you get a chance..." before carrying on with absolutely no intention of giving me a chance. You have no idea of my personal circumstances, and why you did not receive the immediate answer you seem to feel so entitled to. And rather than pause and reflect as to why there hadn't been a rapid response with blues and twos to your very important question, you choose to not only fill in the blanks but then attempt to use your own response as proof of what I was saying.

Topped off with a beautifully unselfware sentence attempting to lecture me on "sensible debate".

I almost didn't bother posting this, returning to this thread after more than a day. But my coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

ThatCurlyGirl · 01/09/2019 11:39

@ProfessorSlocombe

I guess we both felt the other worded things and asked questions aggressively. I do apologise for my part in that and I hope I didn't add extra negativity if you've had a difficult week.

(PS Im worried that written down the above could sound snarky so just to make it clear it isn't and I mean it)

ProfessorSlocombe · 01/09/2019 11:51

@ThatCurlyGirl

Flowers
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