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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

11 yo DD & Hotter Shoes

289 replies

TheClitterati · 28/08/2019 23:54

X took DD school shoe shopping. We discussed getting DM,s or Clark's. DD now has a pair of Hotter black school shoes. Aren't they for the over 50's?
Will this potentially ruin dds first year at high school?

WIBU to raise the matter and suggest we return them?

NB: This would also mean I'd have to spend this weekend looking for School shoes.

AIBU?
WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SleepWarrior · 29/08/2019 00:40

It's been a while since I was at school but those first kickers would have been classed as trainers and sent home.

I used to wear boys kickers to school. Flat and comfy but no issue with the 'wrong' brand.

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 00:41

IThese are great shoes for an older woman I'm sure. I wouldn't wear them myself. But I have reservations about an 11 yo starting out at high school wearing the same shoes as her school chums grandparents choose.

If that's ageist I guess I'm ageist. Im not going to get all pc about it so save your rage for someone else. Not interested.

Im sure your kids will be happy to wear their grandparents comfy shoes to school but I don't think it's ideal for dd.

OP posts:
Igletpiglet · 29/08/2019 00:44

If she is confident in her choice, support her. If people are a-holes about a shoe, that’s their ignorance manifesting.
I would hope she has chosen friends who would let her be herself. Fuck the clones.

GiantKitten · 29/08/2019 00:44

Nanny0gg
I normally have a problem with any hint of ageism on here, but I'm late 60s and wouldn't wear Hotter shoes.
And if her friends see the label...
Change them.

I'm late 60s & I do wear hotter - I don't have any in that particular style currently, but I have previously (when actually quite young - mid-30s Grin) had some exactly like that from Ecco.

Current hotters are a lovely pair of tan leather slouch boots, & some walking sandals, & I don't think either of them look like old lady shoes.

I'm really shocked at the prices, for Y7, though - £65 for Clarks & £75 for hotter Shock

No help, sorry. I haven't had a daughter in secondary school since 2001 & that was a different world. I think I'd let your DD decide though - with the proviso that there can be no substitution later if she changes her mind.

1forAll74 · 29/08/2019 00:46

OMG, this is quite ridiculous,, if your daughter likes her shoes,that's all that matters.. The people on here,who say,,take the shoes back are,well ???

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 00:47

would hope she has chosen friends who would let her be herself

She only knows 3 people at this school so friends are still to be made.

OP posts:
Luckypoppy · 29/08/2019 00:48

Wouldn't be an issue in any of the high schools I've worked in. They look fine.

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 00:48

I do find myself looking at hotter shoes occasionally - no got any (yet) though. I prefer Wolky for myself.

OP posts:
Igletpiglet · 29/08/2019 00:49

Ps if the clones must be appeased maybe some iron on versions of these would satisfy them and induce mirth in the wearer : www.etsy.com/uk/listing/729394093/122-x-47colorful-letter-embroidered

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 00:50

@GiantKitten dd has size 7 feet so we have to buy adults shoes - hence the ££££

OP posts:
GiantKitten · 29/08/2019 00:51

These are the Ecco ones - they look pretty similar to me - are they also old lady shoes?

www.eccoshoesuk.com/ecco-soft-20/p2665

ErrolTheDragon · 29/08/2019 00:51

It's not really about whether the OP is ageist or not, it's about whether kids she's meeting for the first time in high school will think they're odd. OTOH I suppose it might provide a quick way to work out which kids aren't worth having as friends...

FWIW those shoes don't actually look very different to what Clarke's were selling as girls school shoes before brogues came into vogue a few years ago.

Breathlessness · 29/08/2019 00:52

At that age not standing out matters. I’d swap them. The only woman I know who wears those shoes (those exact shoes) is over 80 and has had toes removed and needs very supportive shoes.

CruCru · 29/08/2019 00:55

When I was at school I had Ecco shoes - also for older women. I think the shoes are fine but my children are too young to know what’s now acceptable at senior school.

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 00:55

To me those Eccos read the same yes.

But then I've always worn clunky more "masculine" shoes like dr marten brogues. So anything gentler looks a bit naff to me.

I'm not professing to know anything at all about teen style / school shoes. It's a whole new level from primary school so I'm clueless.

OP posts:
user27495824 · 29/08/2019 00:58

They look absolutely fine. I am 33 and I have never heard of the brand. 11 and 12 year olds won't either. I think they look nicer than the ones my daughter chose from the boys section in Clarks, and she is going into year 8. She wasn't the slightest concerned about what others would think. I actually was planning to get Brogues for her too, as I hate the flimsy ballet style for girls shoes and think they aren't suitable for long walks to school in all weather. But on close inspection, the top of the girls brogues was paper thin. I knew it wouldn't last 5 minutes.

CruCru · 29/08/2019 01:01

Would these work?. They are more expensive though.

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 01:02

I don't have a problem with her standing out if it's something she really likes. But I can't bear to think she could be teased for a year over bloody shoes. It the only tiny sliver of "individuality" they get in their uniform. Plus back pack.

I guess it boils down to do I tell her these are shoes designed for, and favoured by people my age to older than her nan? Or do I let the kids at school tell her?

I feel like I should tell her and let her decide.

OP posts:
GiantKitten · 29/08/2019 01:02

It is all terribly complicated & I'm glad I don't need to wrestle with it any more.

I've had conversations about girls' school shoes with friends online quite recently - I'd been horrified at the number of girls I'd seen wearing those ghastly down-at-heel ballet pump styles, which must be so bad for their feet, & then I'd spotted a couple in nice clumpy Mary-Janes which seemed like an improvement (these were all apparently Y7-8 btw)

It seemed that there were huge variations at different schools (partly dependent on uniform strictness, eg some don't allow DMs under any circumstances).

Anyway, Flowers for you, Clitterati - good luck!

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 01:03

@CruCru those were my suggestion too. But xp couldn't find any.

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Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 01:04

Thank you @GiantKitten Grin

I've forbidden the ballet style shoes. Clumpy Mary Janes or DMs would be perfect.

OP posts:
GibbonLover · 29/08/2019 01:07

I had CruCrus suggestion for school myself, they lasted for a good three years.

MorganKitten · 29/08/2019 01:19

If she likes them it doesn’t matter, other kids won’t care about shoes, trust me working with bullied kids that’s not normally targeted.

If you take away her shred of individuality it’s going to make her feel awful.

Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 01:21

Lol at these shoes being about individuality Grin

11 yo DD & Hotter Shoes
OP posts:
Original poster
TheClitterati · 29/08/2019 01:22

I was bullied over school shoes Sad

OP posts:
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