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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not have told him where the bread was from?

246 replies

ItsOnlyBloodyBread · 25/08/2019 19:45

This morning it was DHs turn to make Coffee and Breakfast (I did it yesterday). He did the coffees as soon as we came down but I had to ask him 3 times when he was doing breakfast.

Eventually he went in to so us some toast and then asked which shop I got the bread from. Strange question I thought as it was a well known brand and can be purchased at literally any of the local shops. So I asked why he asked. This, apparently, was my first mistake as you 'cant answer a question with a question'. Who knew? So he asked again, where it was from, I said it's Robert's bread, why does it matter which shop it's from? He then stormed in the living room saying he's not doing my toast, cos I can't answer a simple question blah blah blah. I said it was an irrelevant question, why would it matter if it was from Tesco or Morrisons? It was Robert's bread. He said the packaging was different and he didn't recognize it...if he'd read the name on the package he would have surely known it was Robert's? Just as a side note he does this all the time, doesn't look at or for things properly and asks he where something is that is literally in front of his face.

Anyway, so this started a big what I can only describe as a tantrum on his part, yes at the ages of nearly 30. I laughed and said he was being ridiculous over a loaf of bread. Laughing at his immaturity was apparently my second mistake.

So I've been in bed all day, as I didn't want to be around him when he's in a vile mood. It's been lovely actually, I've read a whole book, had a nap, played a game on my phone, read mumsnet, just lovely really. This may have been my third mistake as he's been downstairs with DS all day.

I tried to call a truce earlier but was ignored.

He's now gone out whilst I'm putting DS to bed and when I've text to ask where he's gone his reply was 'Im just doing what you're doing and not answering a simple question'

God give me strength, I didn't realise I'd married a 5 year old. Oh well, I'll have the whole bed to myself tonight as he will no doubt sleep on the sofa. I'll take that as a win I think. And yes he's normally like this, 'The king of petty' I call him.

So WIBU to have not told him where the bread was from?

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsOnlyBloodyBread · 25/08/2019 23:12

Strangely he can be effing amd jeffing at me in one breath and then playing with our son in the next calm as anything.

OP posts:
Mummoomoocow · 25/08/2019 23:13

It sounds like he was desperate for interaction. Maybe he’s desperate for more talk between you. Is just saying things out loud hoping you will respond? But instead of responding you made him feel negative, you questioned him and he felt ashamed/stupid for asking in want of something to talk about.

poolblack · 25/08/2019 23:14

I'm not going to say anymore now you have told us he turns nasty. Maybe just get out of that?

chickenyhead · 25/08/2019 23:14

Bleach

boomboom1234 · 25/08/2019 23:16

You are both petty

mrsmuddlepies · 25/08/2019 23:18

Chickenyhead. You had the same problem and you now have an ex.
This marriage sounds toxic and the fallout from their rows is bound to affect their son
It sounds as if the OP thinks that her husband will soon be an ex.

Original poster
ItsOnlyBloodyBread · 25/08/2019 23:18

pool because despite asking dumb fucking questions and being the King of Petty arguments 1% of the time, I love him. He is my husband. The father of my child. A kind, funny and caring person the other 99% of the time.

OP posts:
AgeBeforeBeauty · 25/08/2019 23:22

I wonder what would've happened if you bought Hovis?

Original poster
ItsOnlyBloodyBread · 25/08/2019 23:24

I'm not going to leave my husband over an argument over loaf of bloody bread. This doesn't happen every day. Or every week or even every month. Just because I said he can get nasty I don't mean violent. Just he has a way of saying things that can be very hurtful. And I'd rather not have to hear it or have our DS hear it. Which he doesnt btw.

Gosh there is some real catastophising on MN tonight.

Do people really never argue?! You must all be very calm people.

OP posts:
KUGA · 25/08/2019 23:28

MIND GAMES SPRINGS TO MIND .
just bloody answer the question .
And H should bloody know the answer before asking.
FFS.

TheInebriati · 25/08/2019 23:34

This isn't about bread, this is about him letting you know you forgot your wifely duties and need reminding. He's far too important to know where to buy bread, thats your job.

scotwood · 25/08/2019 23:36

Eh? OP didn't forget to buy bread Confused

PancakeAndKeith · 25/08/2019 23:39

For god sake, why do people keep saying this, I was not the one sulking

You were the one who stayed in bed all day. That will be interpreted as sulking.

SavingSpaces2019 · 25/08/2019 23:39

he's having man-period pmt Grin

Nautiloid · 25/08/2019 23:47

Crikey what a fuss! He sounds bad but you sound just as bad or worse!

mrsmuddlepies · 25/08/2019 23:48

I think you need to acknowledge that you have some responsibility for what happened today.
My reading is that you came on MN to mock your husband and find female solidarity.
You did not get that. A lot of posters thought your behaviour was a significant factor in the row and the sad events of the day.
If you acted like the bigger person and apologised for sulking in your room all day, your husband would probably apologise for asking a silly question. You might then be able to have some quality time with your son.
You don't come across well in your posts. Think hard about whether you should bear some responsibility.

user27495824 · 25/08/2019 23:49

Roberts have started selling bread in paper packaging exclusive to Tesco's. Before you drip fed, I knew this would be why he was asking. I'd you don't have any local bakery's it would be unusual to have bread in paper packaging. I imagine he was intrigued about it and where you had been and was attempting conversation, so your refusal to answer comes off as ridiculous. If my DP had asked, I'd have said 'Tesco, they are now selling Roberts in paper packaging, isn't that brilliant? We should try to get that one as often a possible'. Not 'why'. You know why he was asking. Grow up.

WinterHare · 26/08/2019 00:17

Strangely he can be effing amd jeffing at me in one breath and then playing with our son in the next calm as anything.

What a nasty piece of shit, I think you're kidding yourself in saying your DS has no clue and you were just in bed for the day, the atmosphere must have been tense and horrible.

What a waste of a beautiful day and not to spend it with your young son over this? It's not a good relationship, please stop making excuses. I'm sorry for you OP but for the sake of your child please think about why you're staying?

Gruzinkerbell1 · 26/08/2019 00:21

You both sound like The Twits

scotwood · 26/08/2019 00:26

I think subconsciously you created the argument so you could avoid him, due to his unpredictable nature. You say you are happy, but are you really?

Yellowshirt · 26/08/2019 00:51

Itsonlybloodybread them sulks will get worse and longer and there horrible to live with. And I'll tell you why I no. It's because I was that sulking moody grumpy man and I'm currently going through a divorce. My not solely to blame but I do believe it is a major part of why I'm getting a divorce at the age of 37.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/08/2019 00:51

Well you were ridiculous to not just answer a simple question. How hard is it to say Asda or Waitrose etc?

He obviously over reacted but you then went and "sulked" in your bed all day.

Agree with PP, sounds like you were looking for an excuse to avoid him all day and have some peace whilst he looked after DS

Sounds like DS is the most mature one in the house

WhatNowDear · 26/08/2019 00:58

Why are alot of posters questioning their entire relationship? The op has spoken about this single day originally. Their relationship is their own business just give your thoughts on this particular instance. I believe you are both beyond immature firstly you began this argument by refusing to answer where the bread came from. Then to avoid clearing the air you stayed in bed all day and left him to care for your child. This doesn't give him the right to throw his toys out of the pram but you had the very easy option to not be a prat and say as others have said "tescos why?". It's easy for you to say he does this all the time relationships are never as straightforward as this. I bet you also do plenty of things that annoy him to no end. I wouldn't necessarily blame him if he had stayed out all night in retaliation because you seem well suited to each other. In the future just avoid causing unnecessary problems, you have stated that he wanted to create an argument and what did you do? Intentionally piss him off well played.

sparklefarts · 26/08/2019 02:52

Do you think I should have stayed downstairs all day ignoring DH and the argent potentially continuing/escalating?

No, you should have not been a complete dick and said 'sorry, I don't know why I was a complete arsehole earlier and refused to answer a simple question. The bread was from Tesco. I'll try not to be such a petty child in future'

And if answering your husband annoys you so much, I'd consider your future.

Derbee · 26/08/2019 04:06

If the bread looked different to normal, why is it a stupid question to ask where the bread is from? What a ridiculous thing to say. Can’t believe how many PPs think it’s s stupid question/he was looking for an argument/etc.

Sadly I’m not surprised by the peo0e questioning your marriage, or the safety of you/your child because that’s a mumsnet go-to reaction. Zzzzz

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