To not have told him where the bread was from?

[ItsOnlyBloodyBread]

This morning it was DHs turn to make Coffee and Breakfast (I did it yesterday). He did the coffees as soon as we came down but I had to ask him 3 times when he was doing breakfast.

Eventually he went in to so us some toast and then asked which shop I got the bread from. Strange question I thought as it was a well known brand and can be purchased at literally any of the local shops. So I asked why he asked. This, apparently, was my first mistake as you 'cant answer a question with a question'. Who knew? So he asked again, where it was from, I said it's Robert's bread, why does it matter which shop it's from? He then stormed in the living room saying he's not doing my toast, cos I can't answer a simple question blah blah blah. I said it was an irrelevant question, why would it matter if it was from Tesco or Morrisons? It was Robert's bread. He said the packaging was different and he didn't recognize it...if he'd read the name on the package he would have surely known it was Robert's? Just as a side note he does this all the time, doesn't look at or for things properly and asks he where something is that is literally in front of his face.

Anyway, so this started a big what I can only describe as a tantrum on his part, yes at the ages of nearly 30. I laughed and said he was being ridiculous over a loaf of bread. Laughing at his immaturity was apparently my second mistake.

So I've been in bed all day, as I didn't want to be around him when he's in a vile mood. It's been lovely actually, I've read a whole book, had a nap, played a game on my phone, read mumsnet, just lovely really. This may have been my third mistake as he's been downstairs with DS all day.

I tried to call a truce earlier but was ignored.

He's now gone out whilst I'm putting DS to bed and when I've text to ask where he's gone his reply was 'Im just doing what you're doing and not answering a simple question'

God give me strength, I didn't realise I'd married a 5 year old. Oh well, I'll have the whole bed to myself tonight as he will no doubt sleep on the sofa. I'll take that as a win I think. And yes he's normally like this, 'The king of petty' I call him.

So WIBU to have not told him where the bread was from?

Strangely he can be effing amd jeffing at me in one breath and then playing with our son in the next calm as anything.

Which I find odd, and concerning. It means he can control what he's up to and chooses to swear at you. Also, the idea that he sulks for days does not go well with the idea that he's nice 99% of the time, or says things so cutting that you avoid upsetting him so you don't have to hear it.

I don't know, OP. Is my relationship perfect? No, of course not. But we care for and respect one another. We disagree but we work through it on that basis, that we care and don't want to hurt or upset one another even if in that moment the other one is doing something that annoys us.

I realise it's easy to be defensive when people are being rude, and some people here are being rude. But do have a think about where you're at because a lot of what you describe does not sound healthy.

Questioning the whole relationship is ridiculous, I’m sure watching any couple arguing isn’t going to show the good points of a relationship.

The choice wasn’t between sulking all day in your bedroom and sit in the lounge ignoring him though! My husband and I had a row yesterday morning, not about anything major, but within 10 minutes we’d left the house for a walk through the woods with the kids on their bikes. The rest of the day was completely normal, why would an argument about bread (or about anything) last any longer than the argument itself?

I think you need to have a chat about how you both handle arguments. It’s not healthy for a 5 minute bicker to last all day.

Also, you were being a knob. Just answer the question. Especially in light of PP saying about the new packaging, so it wasn’t even a pointless question.

Seems you don't really care what anyone on here thinks but I grew up with bickering sulking parents OP and it was fucking miserable. Sort yourselves out.

Do you think I should have stayed downstairs all day ignoring DH and the argent potentially continuing/escalating?

Why would you ignore DH all day?

No. Ideally, you wouldn't have behaved like a dick to begin with. Just answer the question and don't be a smart arse because you're annoyed that the toast took too long.

Both you and your DH are odd and immature. And that's putting it politely.

Can't believe you stayed in bed all day when you have a child. Unreal.

Too long to read the full thread but do we find out where the bread is from?

Absolutely pathetic.

And it looks like it's not the first time. He normally goes out for the day after an argument? How many of these ridiculous arguments do you have?

Do you think I should have stayed downstairs all day ignoring DH and the argent potentially continuing/escalating?

No, I'd hazard a guess that most people think you should have just grown up and told him where the bloody bread was from. Who cares if you think it's a stupid question.

YABU. You were deliberetly being awkward. Why?

Sounds like he was pissed off because this is something you do often. Answer his question with a question rather than just answering it.

Also, if my husband asked me 3 times when I was making breakfast, I'd tell him to get it himself. Are you incapable? I like taking my time in the mornings, having a brew before I do anything including breakfast. Maybe your DH is the same.

You come across so smug and gloating in your post when actually, I think you've been incredibly immature and petty.

Too long to read the full thread but do we find out where the bread is from?

Yes, she bought it last Friday when she was in the supermarket.
She told him at the time she was getting it.
Apparently, he should have remembered that she'd bought it then and what shop it was bought from.
That's why asking her what supermarket it was from was stupid.

Funnily enough, I cant remember what supermarket OP said she got it from and life is too short to scroll back and refresh my memory...

No. Ideally, you wouldn't have behaved like a dick to begin with. Just answer the question and don't be a smart arse because you're annoyed that the toast took too long

This

Lymehouse Tesco.

Tesco

Bookworm
Thank you! Yes, Tesco!
I didn't dare ask in case OP appeared...

Lymehouse

You are both petty but I find myself siding with him...

Apparently, he should have remembered that she'd bought it then and what shop it was bought from.

Yes and even though the OP initially forgot this, her DH should have remembered it. My DP has a memory like a sieve, bless him, and mine isn't getting any better as I get older. Convo between us would have gone "where's the bread from?" "Dunno. Oh. Tesco probably". "Oh yes, I remember now". And that would have been it. Asking questions that seem a bit pointless is just what happens when you haven't had enough coffee yet.

I hate how you call it a 'win'.
Touch wood my dh and I get on really well but if there is a disagreement it just breaks my heart until it's resolved .
Maybe you're young but when you're older and one of you gets sick you really think about how precious every day is.
You only get a finite amount of time together . Do you want to look back and remember nonsense like this ?

You are both petty but I find myself siding with him...

Same. I assume this is probably because only one of them is posting to this thread. OP is compounding the issue with her responses whilst the other culprit is off doing whatevs...

You are both petty but I find myself siding with him...

Me too.

What does he do for a living? I used to coach people including when to use different questioning styles. Consequently, if I ask a 'closed' question I just want a quick or one word answer. If I ask an 'open' question then I'm inviting them to give me a more detailed response.
Spills over into home life sometimes and I find myself getting irrationally annoyed if I ask a question that requires a yes/no and I get a drawn out response. Just answer the fucking question I asked! Yes, projecting!

So to answer your question: YABU