To not have told him where the bread was from?

[ItsOnlyBloodyBread]

This morning it was DHs turn to make Coffee and Breakfast (I did it yesterday). He did the coffees as soon as we came down but I had to ask him 3 times when he was doing breakfast.

Eventually he went in to so us some toast and then asked which shop I got the bread from. Strange question I thought as it was a well known brand and can be purchased at literally any of the local shops. So I asked why he asked. This, apparently, was my first mistake as you 'cant answer a question with a question'. Who knew? So he asked again, where it was from, I said it's Robert's bread, why does it matter which shop it's from? He then stormed in the living room saying he's not doing my toast, cos I can't answer a simple question blah blah blah. I said it was an irrelevant question, why would it matter if it was from Tesco or Morrisons? It was Robert's bread. He said the packaging was different and he didn't recognize it...if he'd read the name on the package he would have surely known it was Robert's? Just as a side note he does this all the time, doesn't look at or for things properly and asks he where something is that is literally in front of his face.

Anyway, so this started a big what I can only describe as a tantrum on his part, yes at the ages of nearly 30. I laughed and said he was being ridiculous over a loaf of bread. Laughing at his immaturity was apparently my second mistake.

So I've been in bed all day, as I didn't want to be around him when he's in a vile mood. It's been lovely actually, I've read a whole book, had a nap, played a game on my phone, read mumsnet, just lovely really. This may have been my third mistake as he's been downstairs with DS all day.

I tried to call a truce earlier but was ignored.

He's now gone out whilst I'm putting DS to bed and when I've text to ask where he's gone his reply was 'Im just doing what you're doing and not answering a simple question'

God give me strength, I didn't realise I'd married a 5 year old. Oh well, I'll have the whole bed to myself tonight as he will no doubt sleep on the sofa. I'll take that as a win I think. And yes he's normally like this, 'The king of petty' I call him.

So WIBU to have not told him where the bread was from?

That's probably it Eggys

I don't think he even knew why he asked. Don't be think be genuinely wanted to know either. Think it was just a conversation thing iykwim? And when I asked why he asked he didn't know what to say.

But why would he need to ask where the bread comes from?

Can't he work out from himself that it comes from a nearby shop, and there might be confounding factors, depending on budget, preferred brand, opening hours, weather, transport available and possibly whether anything else is needed - eg if we just need bread and/or milk we'd walk to the local co-op but if we needed more than that we'd probably drive to a bigger supermarket because the Co-op is expensive for shopping and has limited choice - it's not worth driving if you only want bread or milk, but it probably will be if you want a few things or more.

If the question annoyed the OP this much, it's highly likely that it falls into the 'he can't think for himself and expects the OP to carry all the mental load' arena, which gets extremely wearing when the same question has been asked multiple times.

Perhaps he was just trying to get a conversation going to fan the embers of the romantic nest of love you created together at some point. Most domestic conversations are pretty banal really. I would have been slightly annoyed at demands for why I was asking something preceding the simple info I was requesting. ‘Tesco’s - why?’ Would have been infinitely less annoying than just ‘why?’

Why did you not just say, "Its from TESCO, why do you ask".

OP you sound ridiculous. Yeah it was a random question but why be so awkward, take a huff and then spend the WHOLE day in bed? What a joke.

Exactly Barbara we usually shop at Aldi. Any other stuff we need as a top up, bread, milk etc is ALWAYS from Tesco. I haven't shopped at Morrisons for about 6 months.

You've also reminded me that when I went to Tesco to get pop on Friday I did actually tell him that I'd got bread cos we'd ran out!! So even more of a stupid question.

@EggysMom Did your husband really need to explain to you that when he asks a question he wants and answer to that question? You make it sound like that never occured to you.

I work with someone who never answers a direct question, there’s always some smart arse answer back, is really annoying and tiring.

The bread in Asda near me always tastes nasty and musty even though in date. The same loaf from the little coop always tastes much better. Maybe that’s why he was asking?

As PP said you could have answered the question then asked why he wanted to know

Actually I think you're both being rather silly!

I’m another one who grew up listening to this kind of nonsense. I left home as soon as I could and avoided my family at all costs because they never grew out of these ridiculous squabbles.

His behaviour was bizarre but so was staying upstairs all day. How do you behave like this and parent?

You both sound petty and controlling OP.

Context is everything here. You were clearly annoyed at the Coffee & Breakfast situation. He picked up on that and thought 'well you can be bloody annoying too' and then you did your annoying habit of not answering a simple question and using it as some sort of power play and played right into the argument he wanted to have. Waste of a day. Miserable atmosphere for your kids.

I also want to know why he wanted to know where the bread is from! He was bring unreasonable, but it was unreasonable for you to go to bed for a whole day when your child was up and about just to avoid him

You both sound ridiculous.
You for feeling impatient because he didn't make toast 'quick enough' and not answering a perfectly simple question normally. (In other words, answering the question that was asked).
Him for continuing with this tit for tat tonight.

YWU to opt out for the whole day. How would you feel if he did that?

OP I would normally really want to stick up for you as I got some serious abuse on here a few weeks ago on one of my posts when my partner did something awful to me - I do think some users on here come on deliberately looking for a debate. however I do think you both probably goad each other a little bit and know how to push each others buttons. sounds like there was tension there already and it manifested from this somewhat trivial situation. I dont agree with you being called names though nor having people saying things like your poor son - I'm sure he is fine and well looked after x

Can we go back to before the ‘where is the bread from?’ question?
It was his turn to make coffee and toast because you had made it yesterday. You asked him to make it 3 times before he got up. Why on Earth, if you wanted toast that much, did you not just make it yourself?
I get that it’s nice to take turns sometimes and nice to do stuff for each other, but surely when it becomes a ‘I did it yesterday so you must do it today’ expected thing, it takes the niceness away from it. I mean, how long does it take to make some toast? I have friends who used to do this ‘but I did it yesterday so you must today’ thing and they ended up being miserable because they were constantly comparing how much each of them had done.

why is your 3 yo plugged in to headphones, OP?

Saves him from having to listen to his parents.

You are as petty and ridiculous as each other. YABU to post something so dull too.

My husband does this to me all the time, I’ll ask him a simple question or if he can do something for me (little things, as in can you switch the fan on as he’s walking past, not anything too strenuous) and everything’s got to be a discussion. Why do you want the fan on? What level? Oh you don’t want it on that high, I’ll put it on low.

It is sooo annoying. Infuriating, when you ask someone a simple question, like where did you get the bread lol, and they won’t just answer it.

My husband also asks his fair share of ridiculous questions, he is forever asking me if he needs a jacket, or what needs packing in the baby bag. I either answer it (not the jacket question, I’ve take to just staring at him when he asks me that!) or say I don’t know, but I wouldn’t just ignore the question.

What happens if the argument continues? Does he become violent?

It sounds like you're afraid of him and probably with good reason

It may be lighthearted and just a joke . But you must see that your child is growing up thinking that a parent taking themselves to bed for the day is normal and could in turn blame them self for your moods s children often do

Sounds like this marriage is dead in the water

The replies on this thread are utterly bonkers. People are just making up any old nonsense here. Highly entertaining. I've only read half of the first page so far...

You've also reminded me that when I went to Tesco to get pop on Friday I did actually tell him that I'd got bread cos we'd ran out!! So even more of a stupid question.

Jesus. I wouldn't take that info. In.
Just answer the question next time and stop playing stupid petty games.

If I found Roberts bread in this house I’d ask where it was from. The only place I know to get it from is Ocado so would be keen to establish if DH had found it in a local shop which one it was! If he didn’t answer me and went sulking back to bed I’d be pretty unimpressed with him.

MrsKitty he does do it. Did you miss the post where I said if we argue he would normally go out for the whole day leaving me home with DS? I half expected him to today to be honest.

Unfortunately though, I think if I'd asked someone "where's the bread from?" and they'd said -

Why do you ask?
Why does it matter?
It's an irrelevant question

I'd probably give up on trying to have a conversation with them.