To not have told him where the bread was from?

[ItsOnlyBloodyBread]

This morning it was DHs turn to make Coffee and Breakfast (I did it yesterday). He did the coffees as soon as we came down but I had to ask him 3 times when he was doing breakfast.

Eventually he went in to so us some toast and then asked which shop I got the bread from. Strange question I thought as it was a well known brand and can be purchased at literally any of the local shops. So I asked why he asked. This, apparently, was my first mistake as you 'cant answer a question with a question'. Who knew? So he asked again, where it was from, I said it's Robert's bread, why does it matter which shop it's from? He then stormed in the living room saying he's not doing my toast, cos I can't answer a simple question blah blah blah. I said it was an irrelevant question, why would it matter if it was from Tesco or Morrisons? It was Robert's bread. He said the packaging was different and he didn't recognize it...if he'd read the name on the package he would have surely known it was Robert's? Just as a side note he does this all the time, doesn't look at or for things properly and asks he where something is that is literally in front of his face.

Anyway, so this started a big what I can only describe as a tantrum on his part, yes at the ages of nearly 30. I laughed and said he was being ridiculous over a loaf of bread. Laughing at his immaturity was apparently my second mistake.

So I've been in bed all day, as I didn't want to be around him when he's in a vile mood. It's been lovely actually, I've read a whole book, had a nap, played a game on my phone, read mumsnet, just lovely really. This may have been my third mistake as he's been downstairs with DS all day.

I tried to call a truce earlier but was ignored.

He's now gone out whilst I'm putting DS to bed and when I've text to ask where he's gone his reply was 'Im just doing what you're doing and not answering a simple question'

God give me strength, I didn't realise I'd married a 5 year old. Oh well, I'll have the whole bed to myself tonight as he will no doubt sleep on the sofa. I'll take that as a win I think. And yes he's normally like this, 'The king of petty' I call him.

So WIBU to have not told him where the bread was from?

Feels to me like he was stressed and maybe looking for an argument, you took it as an implied criticism, (easily done when you're fed up of being responsible for the brain work) and it escalated from there.

I don't blame you for withdrawing from the situation, better than your ds in the middle of a festering atmosphere while daddy sulks...

I dunno, I'm veering towards the OP here - why did he need to know which shop the bread came from? If it was mouldy, stale or out of date fair enough but just randomly which shop was this loaf purchased from, why?

Well, perhaps if OP had done the dull, normal thing and replied, ”Morrisons, why?”, she’d be able to tell us why.

As it is, looks like we’ll never know why hubz wanted to know. 😥

He literally would not care if it was from Morrisons or Tesco. That's why it was a pointless question. He knew it was a pointless question.

Anyway it's over now we've had an adult conversation and even laughed at ourselves and how childish we are then had a bit of a sweaty cuddle.

He went to find antihistamine cream for some insect bites for anyone wanting to know where he went

He just asked where the antihistamine tablets are cos he couldn't find any cream. I'm going to kill him.

Firstly what's wrong with warbatons!!
Glad it's sorted OP, but it's bank holiday weekend, you should be having family time, it's precious.
Yes, both childish, and you have to get used to men asking pointless questions, it won't change. Just answer next time, it makes life easier!!! I live with it too. He should have made you breakfast as he said he would and you shouldn't have spent the day in bed. Better day tomorrow for your kid I hope. They pick up on behaviours more than you think.

Just don't ask him why he needs it!

Dunno about the bread business. But why is your 3 yo plugged in to headphones, OP?

He was being difficult on purpose. He hopes that if he makes such a fuss over doing chores you will just give up and do it yourself, so that he has a live-in housekeeper.
He is being part childish and part manipulative. I'd consider if it's worth staying with him, because I doubt this is the last time he'll make you witness this behavior.

In the mean time, just leave it up to him to call a truce and maybe not give it to him as he has missed his chance. If he wants to be difficult, than so can you. Give him a taste of his own medicine and have you lovely mornings relaxing in bed.

You sound as bad as one another and your son might be only three but that's still old enough to pick up on tension – a day where Mummy lies in bed while Daddy fumes downstairs won't go unnoticed by him. Poor kid.

What you need is what I have - temporarily forgetting the names for things. Try to channel Barb from the Royle Family, So when he asks where the anthistamine tablets are, you try to answer the question very very helpfully but you forget the word for "medicine chest" and go all round the houses - "you know, in the kitchen, where the plasters are..." etc Same if he asks where you bought the bread - "oh, the usual place, what's-it-called, the shop across the road from the deli that sells the really expensive cheese..." etc. Keep going til he guesses each time and he'll soon stop asking.

Dear me, you both sound as bad as each other. I'm exhausted just reading this. Life's far too short for pettiness such as this.

Just answer the question. You both as bad as each other so suited for each other.

Warburtons has a weird non bread like texture and it's not square which means that it doesn't fit in the sandwich machine or even the toaster that bears it's name.

I thought Roberts was one of the very cheap brands and Jacksons was a slightly nicer one, but google tells me that they're both slightly more expensive, but in the end, it doesn't really matter, it's all cheap plasticky white bread and they're all much of a muchness and TBH I'd just get the cheapest one wherever I was - there's an Aldi one in an orange bag that's obviously pretending to be Warburtons but it's actually better than Warburtons because it's square so fits in the aforementioned appliances and it's slightly less plasticky.

"He would have known it was Robert's and that it doesn't matter what shop it was from."

I agree it doesn't matter. And since it doesn't matter, why do you refuse to answer?

I didn't refuse, I just asked why he was asking first cos I thought it was a weird question, I would have told him.

Also whoever asked he has some kids headphones (with the reduced noise etc) that we got him last year when we went on holiday for the plane and he has become obsessed with them since I found them whilst cleaning out a cupboard. He sat watching Peppa Pig whilst eating his breakfast (that DH made) which was porridge from Aldi just incase you wanted to know

My DP does this. Asks the most stupid, annoying questions because he cannot be bothered to think for himself or find something. We went out to eat last night to a new restaurant and he asked me what to wear. I said I don’t know I haven’t been there either!! He expects me to just know things.

This. I don't think any of you calling the OP names have ever lived with someone who expects you to be the one who actually thinks, all the time. The finder of everything, all the time. The fount of all knowledge.

It gets fucking wearing.

Well to me if someone doesn't answer a simple question it seems to me it's that person looking for the fight.

Well, I read it that he wasn't asking you what bread it was, but what shop did you get it from - could be for a number reasons, why did you need to know the reason before answering? You could have said, "Tesco's, why do you want to know?" but instead gave a stroppy answer. Sounds like you both stropped all day.

Both my parents were like this. Someone says in a post above that this doesn't sound like a partnership, it is just point-scoring and petty one-upmanship: she is right.

Your child is absorbing all this, the tantrums, the sulks, the "But you started it!" bickering. That will have a major effect on your son's mental health as he grows up, on his confidence, on his sense of safety in the world.

Am puzzled why you've written in, really: what is it you actually want? For us to all flock round you and say how we sympathize with you? Get a grip and grow up!

I'd rather have sat in bed whilst he was downstairs having a nice day with DS than sit there with tension between us all day. It would have just festered, which I didn't want. We probably just needed the time apart instead of just annoying each other.

Why does anyone write posts on AIBU Norfolk

"I didn't refuse, I just asked why he was asking first cos I thought it was a weird question, I would have told him."

Maybe you would have told him, but apparenty you didn't. According to your own post, you first refused to answer his question and instead asked a question in return and then proceeded to give an answer to a question he didn't ask, while still not answering the actual question. I don't see a point in that. Even if it's a weird question - just answer it while looking confused and ask why he wants to know.

You say he wanted to pick a fight by asking this, which might be true, depending on the tone his asked it in, but apparently you were happily going along with it.
And your toddler has to suffer because his parents enjoy fighting, sulking and behaving ridiculously.

Sorry OP but this post reads as if you are both really childish. Yes he shouldn’t have shouted at you and it is a really another ting question as the answer is obvious and doesn’t really matter but did you really need to check out for the whole day and retreat to bed because he asked where the bread was from? It sounds like you two have much bigger problems.

“You refused to answer a simple question, then sulked in bed all day leaving him to do the childcare.
Who did you say had the tantrum?”

Exactly my thought too!
It not bad question as different shops sell older or more fresh bread even if exact same brand.

What utterly pathetic behaviour from both of you.

Shit like this impacts children. Grow up.

DH used to react like this, but I eventually got him to explain, and it kinda made sense ...

Apparently he can ask "Where is the bread from?" and I should be able to answer with "name of supermarket". That satisfies his momentary curiosity and his brain can move onto whatever it needs to do next, job done.

If he asks "Where is the bread from?" and I answer "Why?" then I am not only annoying him by not answering a simple question, I am opening a full conversation which he was not intending to have. In his mind, I've jumped forward about three exchanges in this unnecessary conversation. So now he's confused, he has to work out what's going on, his brain has to focus and catch up with a conversation rather than a simple Q&A.

Things run much more smoothly in the Eggy household as a result