To stop my partner from watching porn?

[littlepeaegg]

I know there are threads on SO watching porn etc... but I just need some advice please.

I've been with my partner for 3 1/2 years now. We had a rocky start due to my anxieties but we are great now!

Today I asked if I could have a google on his iPad, and when I opened it up his history was open on the left hand side.

Well, he'd been looking at all sorts of porn! This was when he was away for work last weekend.

Bit of a back story; I've previously asked him if he watched porn and he said it wasn't his thing.

My sex drive is quite low due to meds at the moment, but I have communicated with him regarding this. He said it's absolutely fine.

So I guess I was a bit shocked, firstly that he's lied, which he said was because he was too embarrassed to tell me. And just the fact he watches it really!

I know it's considered 'normal'. I get that. But I just feel really shit and inadequate as a partner!!

How do you feel about this? Is it my insecurities creeping up on me again, that's why I'm upset?

And is it reasonable to ask him to not look at it or will that be too controlling.

He stated that what he does in his private time is up to him, and that it doesn't hurt me etc.

I just thought he might want to fantasise about me haha!

I've gone out for a drive to clear my mind as I'm due to go away for two weeks tomorrow and I really don't want to argue with him before I go!

Am I just being anxious? Any advice welcome. Thank you!

I think Naked Attraction is in some ways worse than porn. It completely objectifies its participants, why would you choose a partner on the basis of their genitals? The sooner that’s off air, the better.

I agree with other posters. I don’t know why any woman can argue that porn is simply a preference or a choice. He’s watching a woman being fucked for money how is probably vulnerable.

Porn is horrible.

Sex is not supposed to be about exploitation and injury.

I don’t think Naked Attraction is in the same category as porn. Although I do think, are these young people really old enough to make an informed decision about putting their bodies on tv? And objectifying is silly.

However I wouldn’t be appalled if a partner watched naked attraction. I’ve seen a bit of it, and it did make me realize how different our bodies are, although all are shaved wtf?!

I think we’ve got to call out porn for what it is.

I do think there's a degree of conditioning 'all men do it. So it's ok. Men have needs'

I have no problem with my OH having a wank but porn bothers me. If a prostitute was being fucked in the street and a group of men including my husband were all standing around wanking over it most people would be appalled. Yet through a screen it's fine?

I used to believe that some women made a good living from it and more power to them but the more I've heard about the industry the 'happy hooker' is extremely rare and most of these women are exploited and then tossed out with the trash. The porn industry contributes to the exploitation of women who have no choice.

I've heard of ethical porn but its a bit like ethical ivory.

I think women who approve of porn and even watch it themselves haven't thought about it enough, or they have and don't care about the harm to others. So long as they like it and it keeps their husband happy....It's all ok.

Why is objectifying “silly”? That exactly what is. The participants are reduced to pieces of meat.

@08Alsohuman

It's not silly. You are right, it IS objectifying.
Happens so much people accept it.