To think the responses to these TripAdvisor reviews are beyond rude!

[SleepyKat]

None of the reviews are mine, I’ve never been to the place. A friend told me about the cafe owner’s responses to any negative reviews and I’m sat here open mouthed reading them. She alludes to reviewers having small penises, stalks their tripadvisor profile to read other reviews and slags off their photos, etc.

Like I said I’ve never been and won’t after reading these as I wouldn’t want to give my money to someone who sounds so —unhinged— nasty. Can’t believe someone who runs a business has so little idea about customer service.

here

I’m about an hour away, maybe I should go and report back!

I’m worried about her mental health, she sounds bonkers.

Had look at terrible reviews...owner replies are rude. Has to be made up owner. Noone can be that rude

Surely those reviews can’t be real?
I think the owner has made them up so she can post witty replies. To be fair I found some of the responses quite funny.
New form of marketing? Hoping to get in the national press?

Can I write a fake review just to get a psychotic funny reply? 😂

She comes across as a total twat. I think she is trying to be edgy/funny.

I was just reading this very page as this place is near here. I think it's fine for her to respond if people have been unreasonable. The vegetarian one was a bit depressing because I'd want a choice too but I'm used to rural places not having the same range as urban ones. It's a bistro in a tiny seaside village on the Lincolnshire coast.

what a dickhead. think she’s funny & witty but...

mortifying

It sounds like she’s that rude in real life, some of the people talk about being slung out.

One because although the husband ordered a main course the wife only wanted a £10 starter as wasn’t that hungry and they were thrown out.

They left a bad review and the owner was slagging them off for daring to think they could come in when wasn’t hungry!

SleepyKat - you absolutely must go. Do it for Mumsnet. It’s your duty. And post a terrible review. We can help you draft it.

Her responses are hilarious. She clearly has a lot of satisfied customers as well as the whingers.

Omg, she is AWFUL!

Lol. I quite like her.

But there is a reason I am a lawyer and not in customer service.

People don't come to me for my warm, welcoming personality.

Stuff like this isn’t funny or witty.

Not even going to bother with a detailed response. A pair of greedy chancers, who had everyone bending over backwards, ate 2 tuna loin steaks and 2 dover sole, then asked for a "discount" ! Says more about them than it does about us. Ghastly, I do hope they stick to their promise and never come back. ;)

I get that some customers can probably be a pita but this sort of arguing back doesn’t reflect well on the establishment.

Another gem-

Never trust a man who doesn't like dogs.
They have no soul

😂

SleepyKat - you absolutely must go. Do it for Mumsnet. It’s your duty. And post a terrible review. We can help you draft it.

Well I’m vegetarian and gluten free so I think I’d be run out the premises.

She sounds like she thinks she's a "character" when she's really just quite rude. I bet she's a bit of a bully in real life too but think she's hilarious.

The vegetarian option is salad or soup? Restaurants can do better than this in 2019. Wonder if she'll change her mind about gluten free if she ever gets coeliac disease...

And I don’t eat fish! I have to agree with the reviewer who said any vegetarian who eats fish isn’t vegetarian. Don’t care what nutty woman says about it being a broad church and some vegetarians even eat Pork!

Well I’m vegetarian and gluten free so I think I’d be run out the premises.

Ooo, even better! Nut allergy also, perhaps?

She sounds like a nightmare. What a stupid way to run a business.

I thought that do @GCAcademic. Definitely a mumsnet member or Basil Fawlty

No nut allergy sadly. Although my friend has a histamine allergy and can only eat low histamine food and is also gluten free. That would send her over the edge I think.

SleepyKat I'm also an hour away, a vegetarian and erm... called Cat so let's go together!

Either:

• A fake account, nothing to do with the business.
• Delusional greasy spoon owner, believes she'll gather custom when her acerbic wit cringeposting goes viral
• Clinically insane. Nobody cares that much about a customer not enjoying their cheese toastie.

I deal with the public everyday.

Sometimes I wish I could be so truthful rude.

Finding some of the replies amusing, do accept I have an odd sense of humour though. Some are just a bit too far.

Agree she's an MNer, and I'd definitely eat there do we get a discount if we're wearing the MN scarf?

I think her responses are mostly funny.