Sister-in-Law’s locked room

[TerracottaDream]

A couple of years ago brother was let down by a babysitter so I volunteered. Niece and nephew went to bed I made a cup of tea and went to go in the front room but the room was locked. I realised that I had never been in that room and that evening was the first time I had been upstairs. No issues but when they came back sister-in-law hoped I had been comfortable. I mentioned the front room and she said visitors were not allowed in there. I imagined it was because it was messy. I made a little joke and forgot about it.
Been a few times since then. We always sit in the kitchen. Went over for lunch over Christmas holidays sat in kitchen (a very nice one with sofas) had a lovely meal and brother suggests we move into other room again SiL says guests aren’t allowed, again I make a little joke about being used to mess.
Today I texted to say I would drop off niece’s birthday present and leave it in porch but when I got there brother was in well we went in front room- it’s like something out of the bloody Ideal Home Show!!! She clearly didn’t want me and DH in there (even when our kids aren’t with us) !
I am really pissed off( yes I know it’s her fucking house!!!) my friend and I just met accidentally in Starbucks and she is pissing herself laughing at me. AIBU?

I wonder if it's a cause of tension between your brother and SIL? Are her family allowed in it? Do you have other family members who visit them?

I think keeping it locked whilst you babysat was crashingly rude and your brother really should have left it unlocked.

I'm not helping at all. Sorry!

I think it's really strange, and rather a waste of a good room actually. I wouldn't be pissed off though just a bit

I would have loved to have learned what reaction she'd have had if she'd come home while you were in there with DB

waste of a good room
Exactly what I thought. It's not 'for best' if they seemingly never use it (surely xmas would be the 'best time' as OP points out they we're banned then too!)
Mind yoy every room in my house looks like a bomb has gone off in DPs tool bag so I just lock everyone out the actual house

Wouldn’t bother me at all. My close friend has a beautiful house and her kitchen is huge and has sofas in it too and a TV. We have no need to go anywhere else. There lounge is amazing with gorgeous wooden flooring , grand piano and bespoke furniture with the most beautiful fabric. I would be too scared to go in there as I would definitely spill something and I certainly wouldn’t want my kids in it! There house and they can do what they want!

So you’re good enough to be trusted to look after her precious children but not good enough to sit in her living room and she’s even locked it to stop you going in there?
Wow, that is unbelievably weird behaviour.
Have you asked your brother why?
Does she have actual OCD and it’s a control thing?

Its a bit of a bizarre level of judgement.

You’re not good enough for use of the Special Room. You are however good enough to babysit their children so she can go out

Does she have delusions of grandeur and see you as the help?

But who consults family or friends about how we use rooms in our house? For example my partner and l are buying a house, one of the bedrooms is going to be his man cave. Basically for all of his hobbies, tut etc. We have decided that and won’t be consulting / asking permission of family or friends etc.

I do not allow my siblings and their children in certain rooms in my home because they have absolutely no respect for other people’s property or privacy and are unreasonably careless and messy. They are the type to walk straight into a room, starting opening up cupboards, making themselves endless snacks (usually messy snacks) without waiting even 2 seconds to be offered, lie sprawled across the sofa with their bare feet on the wall, wiping dirty hands on cushions and walls, leaving dirty plates, cups etc lying and telling me I’m uptight if I put things straight in the sink or dishwasher, read private mail, bank statements, Drs letters etc. Not only that but they have poor personal hygiene (believing washing hands and bodies is bad for you and it’s good to have as much bacteria as possible), so they leave my home stinking.

Damn straight they are not allowed in certain rooms. I need them locked so I can hide my valuables and nice furniture and have some not smelly, not damaged areas of my home.

I honestly thing there is nothing at all wrong with having private areas of your home that aren’t for guests. Smelly, rude, destructive siblings or not!

Not saying you are anything like my siblings btw.

I wish I had a show home room, I would definitely be letting you in.. to show off! 😂 😉

I remember this in a few of my aunts houses growing up, the front room was only when the priest visited! We always sat in the kitchen, I have never in my life ever gone into my aunts front room to this date.

It does sound weird and a little precious, TBH. She definitely didn't want you going in there when they were out and you babysat for them, did she!
I think I'd be a little insulted too and i'd rip the piss out of her and DB 😉😈

I think you making comments about mess, as in you assumed it was because the room was messy rather than thinking she may have a room for entertaining or keeping nice, says more about you in a negative way than your SIL.

NameChange are you the SIL? Whoops.

@Tartyflette No, I don’t have children and wouldn’t trust siblings to babysit if I did

It's a "Good Room". My DM had one. Seven of us in a small three bed terraced and we could only go into the kitchen downstairs. We would not have dared set foot in her Good Room, she didn't need a lock!

To me it's a waste of space - literally - but I think some people like to know one room will always be spotless.

I mean I wouldn’t trust MY siblings to babysit. Not siblings in general. Pretty much everybody else’s siblings = cool.

MY siblings = never.

I do not allow my siblings and their children in certain rooms in my home because they have absolutely no respect for other people’s property or privacy and are unreasonably careless and messy

That’s my guess to why this SIL keeps her best room locked up.

Weird how so many people think they are entitled to have access to anywhere they want in someone's house just because they are related.
If you go into anyone's house you are a guest. You don't live there, so you are a guest .
People have a right to have something for themselves, even if it's a room.

Its her home after all!.maybe she likes to have a room which is "hers".Can imagine ,super comfy sofas ,lots of cushions,scented candles !.We have a front room and back room too.(both used and "lived in"!.Dont take it personally ,no biggie ,just another rather old fashioned way of doing it !

I think the weirdest thing is that the ops brother suggested to use it at christmas and was told no. He obviously doesnt agree with this or else he wouldn't have let op see the room.
I am intrigued if they ever use it. If they have sofas etc in the kitchen is the room empty most if time? Seems like a massive waste of space but people are odd. I had a friend as a child who wasnt allowed in her living room as it was an adults only space so after tea every night she went to her room and her parents went into the living room to watch tv. The dog was allowed in the living room though.

I just think compared to that strange thread where the guests were sat on the driveway with blankets and the OP acted like anyone who allowed visitors into their house was a weirdo this is pretty tame.

If you go into anyone's house you are a guest. You don't live there, so you are a guest

Doesn’t one treat guests well?

In any event, OP wasn’t there as a guest, she was there doing them a favour as their childcare had fallen through.

Weird how so many people think they are entitled to have access to anywhere they want in someone's house just because they are related.

I find that weird too. I’ve had a couple of people turn up and say “Well...when are we getting the tour?”, or, even worse, just start wandering around bedrooms etc.

I can’t believe people are so rude, I wouldn’t dream of doing this kind of thing.

Eh? Presumably it is also your DB's home, what does he say when SIL says that?