Sister-in-Law’s locked room

[TerracottaDream]

A couple of years ago brother was let down by a babysitter so I volunteered. Niece and nephew went to bed I made a cup of tea and went to go in the front room but the room was locked. I realised that I had never been in that room and that evening was the first time I had been upstairs. No issues but when they came back sister-in-law hoped I had been comfortable. I mentioned the front room and she said visitors were not allowed in there. I imagined it was because it was messy. I made a little joke and forgot about it.
Been a few times since then. We always sit in the kitchen. Went over for lunch over Christmas holidays sat in kitchen (a very nice one with sofas) had a lovely meal and brother suggests we move into other room again SiL says guests aren’t allowed, again I make a little joke about being used to mess.
Today I texted to say I would drop off niece’s birthday present and leave it in porch but when I got there brother was in well we went in front room- it’s like something out of the bloody Ideal Home Show!!! She clearly didn’t want me and DH in there (even when our kids aren’t with us) !
I am really pissed off( yes I know it’s her fucking house!!!) my friend and I just met accidentally in Starbucks and she is pissing herself laughing at me. AIBU?

I think the OP may be pissed off at being called a "guest" she is bloody family. Don't go again, let her keep the room locked in case the Queen comes for tea.

Is she Beverly Goldberg?
Are you pissed off because it's clearly only you not allowed in the naice room? Are you prone to making mess/ don't take your shoes off in the house/ covered in filth?
Do you like going in her office when she is rendering on the computer and deliberately spilling wine on it?
So many questions, so little information.

I thought you were about to say that the front room was an adult 'games' room!
I must have a mind well in the gutter...

We have a kitchen that is also just big enough for a table and chairs and a separate living room. No other reception room.

I love to relax in the living room and try to keep it nice but it is full of toys and when friends kids visit they take food and drink in there despite me asking them not to - when I’m not looking. My family eat and drink in there generally (not meals) but with play dates I can’t stand finding the juice cartons /sticky wrappers/ food debris lying on the floor/sofas etc.

Anyway I fantasise that if I had a second reception room or relaxing space in the kitchen I would keep socialising to that space (with wipable floor/sofas etc) and keep my living room with its fabric sofas and carpets clean and lovely to relax in in the evening.

I don’t think I would go as far as locking the room - but weird- although I bet visiting kids would go in there even if they had been asked not to. I would definitely let you relax in style if you were babysitting my kids. Ask next time - “can I go in the posh room - otherwise I’m busy that night - ha ha” to point out that they are cheeky for you being good enough to babysit but not to go in the posh room! I’d probably end up so terrified of spilling something I’d stay in the commoners room anyway!

Maybe she reads Virginia Woolf, and wants A Room of Her Own.

My grandmother had an “end sitting room” never used it. I used to get so excited if she let me in to have a look.

My mum has a best room but guest are allowed in.

Obviously she thinks her ils are riff raff!!

I've got a room like that BUT It's not locked.
My DH has a house building company. When we had the house built we used the same company who design their showhomes to design the lnside.
We usually sit in the kitchen/ livingroom.
I do use the room for visitors, but no way I'm having my family members lying on my sofas 😂😂.

It's not the worst thing in the world. Some people struggle with guests and having one private room might be a coping strategy. You're still being invited into to her home.

Well, it seems a little odd, but it's her house and her choice. I don't see a reason to be offended to be honest. If everyone else was using the room and you were excluded, I can see why you would be upset; but if it's just the 'best room' that no one is supposed to use, I don't see why it should upset you, or why you would think anything worse than 'lucky her to have enough space to have a room that is not in regular use'.

If you are pissed off that's your problem.

How bizarre. I wouldn't give it much thought as a room but I would judge someone rude enough to tell their partner I shouldn't be in the holy of holies in front of me.

Who qualifies as a guest fit for the room? Do they need an HRH?

It’s their private relaxing space (like their bedroom) - sounds like she’s wise to lock it otherwise you’d be straight in there!

I think somewhere has to be a private space. I live alone in a small flat but if I had a house I’d want a room that visitors can’t go in.

Sounds lives she lives in the 50s/60s.
Some of my family had what we called a Sunday room.
Only to be used on that day dont get it myself but were all different. And as someone has said,its her house and her rules.

Why are you angry though?

What’s it to you?
None of your beeswax.

It's her house, why do you even care? Stop worrying about it. It's none of your business.

I thought it would be red. Oh well. Sounds a bit weird but it’s her house. Also your brother’s house, though, so it was rude of her to tell him it wasn’t for guests, when he suggested it be used.

disappointed it wasn't a room with a large cauldron for casting spells or a bizarre skeleton collection.

Both my mum and my grandmother had front rooms that were off limits.

Got to see my grandmother's a couple of times as a child, and I thought it was magical. It had lots of things from her travels, wood carvings, maps, a globe, and a real zebra skin rug.

Why is it just your sister in laws room? Is it not your brothers too?

What is a netty? Should we all have one?

You sound a tad bonkers, OP. It's not as though you were made to sit on orange boxes and denied comfort when you visit. Up to her how she lives in her own home.

To be fair in my OP I did acknowledge it’s her house! Sorry to disappoint the more salacious of you.
I have no idea why I am so pissed off I just am.

My grandmother had a front room where we weren’t allowed, a small study where we were, a small sitting room we could go in and the kitchen. Perfectly normal.

I hate it when people call family.”guests”. But anyway. When I was little we had a room children were only allowed into to play the piano or to hand things when our parents had people round. Not locked though.