Sister-in-Law’s locked room

[TerracottaDream]

A couple of years ago brother was let down by a babysitter so I volunteered. Niece and nephew went to bed I made a cup of tea and went to go in the front room but the room was locked. I realised that I had never been in that room and that evening was the first time I had been upstairs. No issues but when they came back sister-in-law hoped I had been comfortable. I mentioned the front room and she said visitors were not allowed in there. I imagined it was because it was messy. I made a little joke and forgot about it.
Been a few times since then. We always sit in the kitchen. Went over for lunch over Christmas holidays sat in kitchen (a very nice one with sofas) had a lovely meal and brother suggests we move into other room again SiL says guests aren’t allowed, again I make a little joke about being used to mess.
Today I texted to say I would drop off niece’s birthday present and leave it in porch but when I got there brother was in well we went in front room- it’s like something out of the bloody Ideal Home Show!!! She clearly didn’t want me and DH in there (even when our kids aren’t with us) !
I am really pissed off( yes I know it’s her fucking house!!!) my friend and I just met accidentally in Starbucks and she is pissing herself laughing at me. AIBU?

Do you have many hobbies?

It’s the actually locking it that’s bizarre IMO.

Oh I would love a fancy room just for myself.

But tbh it is weird.

@PuzzledObserver seeing as how @TerracottaDream automatically gravitated towards it, maybe not. Other guests likely assume it’s available for use and probably try to enter, so I can’t blame the SIL for locking it. I’m not saying the guests are being malicious but it’s just easier to lock it than repeatedly explain herself or hovering to ensure people don’t enter.

@Vulpine

What makes you think it’s not lived in? Why do guests need access to it if there are other nice places that are suitable to be in? Do you think guests should be shown and allowed in every room in someone’s home?

My Nan and gramps spent their time in a tiny room whilst the front room was kept for best and was huge and like a show home! It didn't strike me as odd when I was a child but I'm very WTAF now.

My great aunt had a parlour. We all used to squash into the kitchen which did have sofas and chairs and a coal fire. The parlour was never used.
I also knew someone who's mother kept the front room for best. Himself and his 2 siblings were never allowed in there.

Dd2 also has a friend who's dad has a locked room in the house.
She asked her friend what he does in there and she doesn't know 😕.

I wonder whether responses would be the same if a mumsnetter went to visit her sister, and when the sister suggested sitting in another room, BIL said " no, it's not for guests".

I'm going to guess that there'd be a lot of WTF? and control issues posts.

I'm more interested in how the OP finally got into the glamorous front room by 'happening' to call when her brother was home alone. She says

when I got there brother was in well we went in front room- it’s like something out of the bloody Ideal Home Show!!!

but it's not clear whether her brother invited her into the front room, or whether the OP demanded the secret key be handed over and let herself in, or whether her brother regularly uses the room himself when he's at home alone, so the door was just open... I quite like the idea of the OP hurtling through the front door once she realises her SIL isn't at home, shouting 'QUICK, BRO, OPEN THE ROOM! I HAVE TO SEE THE ROOM!'

Also, for all the disappointed sex dungeon people, bear in mind that the OP first realised the room was locked a couple of years ago, and the last time there was any possibility of going into it was last Christmas holidays. Now the room is beautifully-decorated and empty, but it's not outside the bounds of possibility that it used to be a sex dungeon/hoarder's paradise/home to a collection of creepy Victorian dolls, but the SIL and brother got worried when they realised the OP had become fascinated by the locked room, and got rid of whatever was in there...?

OP, had you never tried peering through the net curtains? That seems unenterprising of you.

What people seem to be missing that on at least 2 occasions OPs DB has seen no issue with her being allowed into the sacred sanctum suggesting that normally guests ARE allowed in. (Unless they never have any other visitors.) And it's just his family/sister who isn't.

Either way when DB made the suggestion right in front of OP it was rude of SIL to turn it down like that.

Very ungracious of her.

As already mentioned, it used to be a thing in some places to have a front room that was kept for best - Sundays, Christmas and visitors in my family. Well, the generation before me.

The house I grew up in had a lounge and separate dining room, both quite large. We children were banished to the dining room (where our toys were) and there were comfy chairs and a telly in there too, and we were only allowed to go in the lounge when there were visitors. Otherwise, it was adult only space - although that changed when we were teenagers and could presumably be trusted not to drop things on the sofa.

But the idea of having a nice room that you ban all visitors from is strange, IMO. Visitors are the people you make a special effort for, aren’t they?

Op
Was there another door in the secret room?
Perhaps it leads to somewhere else. Narnia perhaps? Or a Mr Ben type adventure?
Otherwise, did anyone go missing in that area a couple of years ago?
You never know.....

Visitors are the people you make a special effort for, aren’t they?

Guests are exactly that, guests, invites doesn’t give them rights. The OP sounds nosy as hell, just the type you’d want to restrict.

It’s the actually locking it that’s bizarre IMO.

It's probably only locked when the SIL knows nosey parker/boundary busting OP is about

I don't think it's that unusual to have lockable doors in the house but that's because I was brought up in a house that had locks on all downstairs doors - kitchen, dining room and front room (still there).

Dad used to lock them all every night and every time we went out, as security measures. My grandparents house also had locks on all doors, downstairs and upstairs - but that was because they shared the house with one of their siblings who had the upper floors.

Locked rooms are normal to me - but of course we were never actually kept OUT Of any of these rooms, not for long anyway!

It's probably only locked when the SIL knows nosey parker/boundary busting OP is about

That's my theory -- it's become a long-running marital joke. How long can we keep DS/SIL out of the Mysterious Front Room?

Exactly!!