Update: moved in with partner..he got fired and expects me to pay the bills..

[Beachball32]

Hi all,

I posted last week and got some brilliant advice- it’s certainly made me see things in a different light.

Basically, I moved in with my partner of 12 months three months ago. He has a rented council flat and I’ve made it a home (buying furniture etc). He got fired because of his attitude/sick days a couple of weeks ago and is now stony broke. He’s had a few jobs since I met him but he’s quit or been fired..he refuses to work past 5pm and thinks we shouldn’t have to work at all as it’s no life. He decided he wanted to do a course via the job centre so he can get a job earning more money but that has been cancelled. He has to wait for a couple of months to start it.
So he’s got no money whatsoever. I have just finalised a really long divorce battle and been given a settlement. I’ve got a lump sum but haven’t told him how much. The emotional trauma has hit me hard and I’ve taken some time to adjust. My partner has been really nice to me- supportive, cooking and waiting on me hand and foot. However he doesn’t seem to be looking for work. I’ve got enough money to start a new life...upping sticks and starting afresh somewhere (by the coast maybe)...either that or investing my money in this relationship (for example he has no carpets so I need to pay for them..he also wants a bigger expensive settee).
I feel under such financial pressure to provide for us- I’m tempted to take my money and run but am terrified of the unknown. AIBU to think he’s a sponger? He does everything for me (running baths, making me daily smoothies, keeping my coffee cup topped up) since my settlement but doesn’t have a penny so I’m paying for everything..

Recently posted about my relationship breaking down, he moved in with me and quit his job, got another then quit that and I paid for everything! I feel like a mug now, and am really financially bad off right now, when I wouldnt have been had I not been supporting him. Get outta there x

OP, having read your April posts, when you listed an absolute nightmare set-up, everyone rallied round you and told you this man would be a total nightmare. So, after a unanimous stay the hell away and don’t get involved with this abusive guy, you move in with him! So, why even bother asking again? You can speed up the inevitable, just sign over that lump sum. You are determined to be an utter door mat and eternal victim.

@Grumpelstilskin, which April posts.

1. The bloke she had been seeing for eight months
2. The bloke she met online and had a blind date with.

Based on your threads about other men this year, I don't think you should be dating at all OP.
The one where you called a vet to check up on a man's excise not to see you would be a low point for many women.
You don't need a man in your life to feel worthwhile and valued. Concentrate on real friends, family, hobbies, pets, careers... anything other than giving more headspace to these timewasters. Get out of Dodge and block this freeloader.
It's very telling that you needed two identical threads. Craving attention is getting you into these one-sided, unhealthy relationships.

**excuse, not excise!

For the love of Christ and everything good and holy in this world please run. Keeping everything crossed you'll come back in a few weeks and tell us all you've dropped this leech, moved homes and got yourself some new hobbies and met some nice people

You’re being played. The baths and cooking will stop as soon as your money runs out.

His attitude stinks. Run for the hills.

@justasking111 It seems to be the same guy. If she has been with her current 'beau' for 8 months, then she must have been with him since the beginning of this year.

Run...as fast as you can

grump. read the threads

Run. Fast.

He has intrinsically different values to you...

Tell him you are putting the money aside and you will not touch it for 'X' years. See how lovely he is then...