Here is a non exhaustive list of things that can fuck off. AIBU?

[AvengerDanvers95]

Feel free to add your own but I want the following to fuck off:
Period pains
My bosses
Having to work for a living
DH (briefly anyway)
Period pains again
Children not going to sleep
Celebs posting videos of themselves working out on Instagram (at least there is a fuck off button for that one)
Having to get up for work in the morning
Joint pain after an injury
Periods, full stop.

And my birthday (no, it's not today!) I may be weird and U, but I can't stand having it celebrated or being wished happy birthday, or anyone revealing when it is when I want it to be PRIVATE!

Actually, anyone gossipping about me or revealing information that I want to be kept private! No, I'm not a member of the Royal Family(!) or a celebrity(!) - at least then I'd be paid for being un-private! - and it doesn't actually happen very often, and usually is careless rather than malicious. But I get very cross on the rare occasions where it does happen!

Yes, my birthday soon and I hate it. Why celebrate being a loser? I just want it ignored.

Cricket can fuck off

Urban foxes dragging junk food debris into the garden, where it's eaten by DDog who then craps on the carpet can particularly fuck off.

Periods
Anxiety
Depression
Cancer
Wasps
Flies
People bragging all over social media about GCSE results non stop

Profanities- they can all just fuck, the fucking fuck off.

Smug, skinny yoga women being used in advertising. A really nice cafe has opened near me but their Facebook is full of yoga posing twats downward dogging in front of the cafés panoramic view window. Fuck off and serve me cake not aspirational lifestyle bollocks!

Friends that cancel invitations with spurious excuses can fuck off too.

Downward dogging ?!?!?

One of my SIL- DH texts to say we can't make her garden party tomorrow (DS is unwell, I've barely slept all week sitting up with him, and DH and I realised that due to a festival in our town public transport will be murder), so she phones me to moan, not him.
Fuck right off
Oh and yes yes to periods and all their associated pains

Peri menopause
People who say haitch instead of aitch
The kid who hid my daughter’s glasses when she was swimming and laughed at her when she couldn’t find them
Hairs that sprout from moles
Married people who cheat
Long commutes

MLM bossbabes peddljng their wares and calling me hun
Before and after pictures of randoms who have lost weight just by drinking coffee or aloe Vera.

Checking on Facebook to local
Hospital with no explanation

Stinky farts

Work
Cancer
Dh's annoying cough

Cancer
Death can do one too
Sleep deprivation
Poverty
Anxiety
Friends who aren’t really friends
Low self esteem
Hang overs
Family squabbles
Adulting
Smelly cars
Festival toilets
My fat tummy
Work place power struggles
Affairs

Yeah these things can al Fuck right off.

Downward dogging ?!?!?

Yeah, and that type too. Dirty bastards ruining local beaches, looking shifty in the car parks.

Fleas, and the cats who decide to bring them home

Backache

Humid weather

I missed one more off my list:
Those who decline their seats on planes the minute they sit down and leave you with about 2cm of space the rest of the journey 😡

"People who say haitch instead of aitch"

That is a regional difference.

With you on the hairy moles though, I have one that grows no less than seven or eight.

People. All of them.

Being woken up choking on acid reflux, think baby is deliberately kicking acid up my oesophagus now.

Recurring nightmares about ostriches breaking into my house and pecking my cat.

Katy Perry’s head.

The big cunty cyst on my ovary.

Coeliac disease. I want fucking bread that doesn’t cost £4 or taste like bumhole

Being so heavily pregnant that I can't walk, stand, sit or lie down comfortably. I'm enjoying other aspects of pregnancy (the kicks are still very entertaining for example) and massively excited to meet baby but I miss feeling physically comfortable. It's like it's not my own body anymore. 6 weeks to go until due date.

Also my unbelievably annoying FIL, which is a shame as MIL is lovely and if anything I'd like to see more of her, but FIL is so stress inducing it makes me feel unwell

Moths/spiders/flies can also fuck off

Carpal tunnel
Wasps
Twatty behaviour
Period pains
DHs snoring
Mascara that goes dry the second you open it
My boss's current shitty attitude
Slugs

The shitty kids who bully my DS can fuck the fuck off, they can even take their worthless mother who won’t do anything about the bullying.

Those bed sheets hanging over motorway bridges announcing 'Susan is 30' Who gives a toss.

Coughing and spitting
Pre made sandwiches with butter... We don't all like butter.
Diabetes
Arthritis
Cod
Chuggers
Bogies

Relatives that invite us to BBQ two hours away when we’d much rather stay at home.
Bathrooms that need cleaning.
Kittens that need feeding.
My sore knee.
Teenagers who are being poisonous because they’re stressed about going back to school.
Tomato plants that don’t actually have any tomatoes on.
Work IT projects that both go critical in the same week.
Friends on here, that recognise me from this list!