Here is a non exhaustive list of things that can fuck off. AIBU?

[AvengerDanvers95]

Feel free to add your own but I want the following to fuck off:
Period pains
My bosses
Having to work for a living
DH (briefly anyway)
Period pains again
Children not going to sleep
Celebs posting videos of themselves working out on Instagram (at least there is a fuck off button for that one)
Having to get up for work in the morning
Joint pain after an injury
Periods, full stop.

My boss. She's a cock, a passive aggressive, self absorbed, discriminatory cock.

The sickness bug that's had my 4 year old up since 3am, 4 loads of washing created and she's fine in herself so not even a quiet, cuddly movie day 😒

The needless amount of plastic associated with everything. Why do I need a screwdriver to get into a small toy?!

Every single shitty driver

DH and his dramatics

The toy adverts on kids tv channels and the 'can I have that' that comes with 95% of them and why is every toy £40 or £100?

Birthday party etiquette
Wankers at the Edinburgh Fringe
Sainsbury's terrifying voice from the dead - 'would you like your receipt'
Crepey skin
Crepes

Trains that don't run on time.
Toddlers starting the day at 4:40am.
People who don't stop at zebra crossings.
People not turning up when they say they will.

Oh and my son's father.

Noisy neighbour's kid. (Yes Connor, YOU)

Cancer
Train delays
Smarmy overpaid academy chief execs (but not necessarily the head teachers)
Constipation
Sciatica
Grief
Depression
My druggy neighbours

Cancer
Period pains
Bras
The looming dread of the phonecall due any time now from family wanting to come to hotel Jemmy for Xmas after 6 months of blessed no contact......

Having a fucked up back and a fucked up tooth simultaneously
Unhelpful doctors
Terrifying dentists

Cancer took my goddaughter
Cancer took my mum
Cancer took my nan
So fuck off cancer!
Screaming foxed at night
Inconsiderate shouty twats at night
People standing in your personal space, back off!
Bad breath
Bubble snot
Snorting snot
Sneezing or coughing and they don't cover face
Period pains
My kids when pissing me off
My husband when being to passive
Self fucking serve tills, the item is on the fucking ledge!
Out myself here, McDonald's at bluewater, a quick and easy way to lay off staff, they just pack, no taking orders or payment.
Hair in food
Not being slim anymore
Not being able to get below 11 fucking stone
Migraines
Knob head nasty begger near me, vile piece of shite who intimidates people by the cash point
My dad

Tinnitus
Arthritis in my hands
Cat fur absolutely everywhere
Cat litter absolutely everywhere
Hairballs
Menopausal hot flushes which go on and on for years
Drivers who sit on your arse even if you're driving at just below the speed limit
Twats who drop litter
Twats who destroy public floral displays and damage trees
Twats who graffiti - 99% of the time you are not banksy

Seagulls
Smokers who can't read
Scum who spit
Dog owners who do not clear up
Cancer
Heart disease

People who let their dogs shit anywhere and don’t bag it.
Noisy neighbours.
Headaches after drinking gin.
Encouraging ‘D’S to do some schoolwork in the summer holidays

Personal stuff would be
Pulsatile tinnitus
Vulvodynia
Arthritis

Thankfully I don't have them all 24/7 but when they decide to work in conjunction, well that's a joy

Scuttly big ass spiders

Bigger stuff includes

Donald Trump, he can always fuck off.
Whoever it is that's deciding to keep Nazanin Zaghari Ratcliffe imprisoned, and Boris Johnson for making that worse and
not giving a fuck
Anyone who responds to women's concerns about men in women's sport and spaces with 'terf' and 'bigot'

First world problem stuff

Sony for the whole spiderman/mcu decision

Oh and my godawful crows feet that seem to deepen by the day, they can really fuck off!!

The Central Line.

Brexit
Boris Johnson and the ERG fuckers
people who don't recycle
cancer
climate change

Self serving politicians
Toxic people
Higher state pension age
Dog haters

GPs who attribute any symptom to anxiety
Neighbours who don't know how to complain politely
Washing up
Hanging the laundry
Folding the laundry
Putting the laundry away
Cats bringing live rats in the house
British "summer"
Slugs
Slugs
Slugs
Slugs
Slugs

Brexit

People who insist on saying noisy goodbyes to their friends at 1.00

People who let their cats stay out at night so they can have massive screaming fights that wake the whole neighbourhood

The cunt with the noisy diesel van who left his engine running for at least 7 minutes at 5 am, while waiting for his mate to get ready to go to work

The 4 non-running motorbikes cluttering up the garage, any one of which would mean I get a lie-in on my days off instead of having to get up and take DP to work

Guess who didn't enough sleep last night?

Wasps
Hormones - Not normal kind of 'PMT' hormones, but PMDD type hormones that make you want to take your own life and make you paranoid that your lovely Husband is cheating on you, all your friends hate you and you're shit at your job type of hormones.....

‘Smart’ motorways whose only function is to cause traffic to bunch up and slow down to 40 because-shock, horror-there’s a JUCTION in a mile! I’ve seen this so much recently. It’s dumb and dangerous.

Brexit

Boris Johnson in general

Chuck Jeremy Corbyn in while we're at it

The Amazon being on fire

Tights that roll down at the waist

People who stop dead immediately after exiting public transport / walking through an entrance etc.

Plumbers that don't turn up, or do, but haven't got the parts (especially really obscure things like a replacement tap for a faulty tap) and then claim they're coming back next week.

Potential employers who interview but ghost you afterwards when a 'sorry but no' email would have taken them a whole 30 seconds to type and send.

Jobs where you start now, but the inflexible payroll dates and being paid on an hourly rate means that you won't see a penny of wages until the end of fucking October. This one is particularly annoying, as it's what's happening to DP.

Being told "there's no magic wand" for your chronic health condition. In other words, you should accept the suffering.

Degrees- apparently you are only worthwhile or intelligent if you have one.

"Living my best life" - sick making showy off statement!

Wasps
Dog shit on pavements
The person on my street who parks their people carrier entirely on the pavement so I have no option but to walk in the road with a pram. They have a drive, I hate them and curse them under my breath every time I walk past.