To expect husband to travel home with us?

[Lenny1987]

Going on holiday to ireland on Saturday. Husband is irish, so we are spending the week in his village. We are travelling back the following sunday, all ireland final day. His team is in the final. When we were booking the flights I mentioned this to him, and he said his team wouldn't get there, and he had enough on that month (a stag weekend, and a weekend in dublin at the hurling final). Now the time has come, his team are there, and he wants to spend £200 on a new flight later that night so he can watch the match. This means I am travelling home from an 8 day holiday with all our stuff and a 10month old baby. He asked my opinion, and now hes annoyed that I dont think it's ok. His team get to this match regularly and he has been to it before. I have suggested not looking at social media and watching immediately as we return.

Well it’s done now.
He can come to the airport with you. Check his stuff in or leave it to collect later.
That should make life a lot easier.

Selfish!

Can you even check in both cases if he's not travelling with you?

It's normally one case per person, at a set fee. You can't book a ticket for just your luggage?

I would double check that it's even possible. You don't want to have anymore hassle when you get in the airport.

Leave some of the stuff with him. He can use the lockers at busaras and collect after the match. If he's a Dub he can leave luggage at the family house or speak to his local pub and leave there while drinking.
I absolutely get wanting to go to match but it's like rocking horse shit on the day. My brother has spent many a day in Dublin trying to get a ticket when mayo get there.

Don't just allow the all Ireland buzz to leave you carting everything xx

All of you who have commented that it's just so easy for OP to manage all of this, your comments are irrelevant.

What really matters here is a selfish man who has unilaterally decided to do what he wants without giving a thought to OP.

I think you're making a fuss about nothing tbh. I've travelled many times with babies, DC and luggage on my own. Make sure he takes some of it, if you have a lot, but if you flew there in the first place surely you don't have that much anyway? It's just you and one baby, what's the problem?

@ForalltheSaints Bad planning in the first place not to have had everyone go home after the match. It's not as if the date is not known months ahead, even if the teams are not.

Did you not actually read the bit where she ASKED her husband if he wanted to stay for the match and he said NO.

The only person guilty of 'bad planning' is the OP's husband.

Too many cool wives on here competing to be the most smug and condescending. Totally not ok to change plans last minute and then make someone else's life unnecessarily difficult. Of COURSE the op CAN do it. But she hadn't planned to and feels a bit put out and understandably so.

Ffs why don't people read the whole thread???

There's no way a dub would think his vccc team weren't getting to the final, he's obviously a Kerry man.

And yes, Kerry have won a lot, but not recently. Every other county in Ireland wants Kerry to win because the dubs have made it so boring.

Let him go. It's a big deal. And they have more chance than Tyrone did last year.

Make him take some of the luggage with him. He could even leave it in a local hotel or something, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

I know of a bloke who flew LONG HAUL when his wife was 38-39 weeks pregnant to go to a hurling final. Now THAT is unreasonable.

Have you spoken to him about the luggage and really driven home what a selfish idiot he is being - or is he always one

Op has stated she's having to take all the luggage...

Jayney mac! Just do it OP, it's not a big deal! Grow up! And do it gracefully rather than bitching and moaning about it - I hate martyrdom. Travelling with one child is not hard 😂

travelling with one child is not hard for most people for some people it may be difficult or even impossible.

@rugshade It's not the OP who has to grow up, it's the DH.

Or have you missed the posts explaining that the OP offered to take the match into consideration when booking the original flights, and her DH said NO.

Or that the OP is back to work the next day, her first day back after maternity leave.

Instead, the selfish man has blown more than 300 Euros on a new plane ticket without even having a ticket to the match. Hasn't even taken the OP into consideration.

Some people must set the bar very low with their expectations of their DH.

If DH suddenly changed the travel arrangements on holiday then at the very least I would be expecting him to work out how he could minimise the stress and workload for me.

But it's just doing a favour for the love of your life! My husband and I would do this for each other in a heartbeat - it's important to make each other happy! It's just a favour!

travelling with one child is not hard

Whenever this subject comes up some people totally miss the point just for the bragging rights. Yes you travel with 3 kids every day blah blah blah. The point is if your partner was sat on his arse after you arranged it so you could share that load, it's selfish of him to just expect you to do it yourself because he's changed his mind at the last minute.

It's not about the fact that you do it when you have to 🙄

rugshade that’s all very well but why isn’t the DH helping OP make her life easier instead of just thinking of himself. So if he stays to watch the game he helps OP with the luggage. He doesn’t appear to have considered her at all.

I think your BVU. The All Ireland Final is a huge deal and even bigger if his county are in it.

I would have thought going back to work after your maternity leave is quite a big thing too, and impacts your family more than the result of a game

Life is short. Small moments of joy and happiness are all we have. Let him go to the game, for Christ’s sake. Because you love him. Presumably?

Between work and kids and money and health and stress...why would you begrudge him this? I honestly don’t understand this mindset.

And next time you want to be ‘selfish’, he’ll send you off happily with a kiss. Because he loves you, and that’s what you do for people you love.

The lesson OP learns from this is that even when she plans in advance and tells her H about dates he won’t plan himself and then will spend lots of money selfishly at the last minute on his whims.

Good to know so many women would be fine with this.

I am amazed by all the women telling her to just do this, because he tells her his wishes are more important than hers

Jayney mac! Just do it OP, it's not a big deal! Grow up! And do it gracefully rather than bitching and moaning about it - Ihatemartyrdom.

There you go OP- you're to do it and what's more, you're to shut up about it. Heaven forfend that a man should be made to feel a little bit guilty for a few seconds about his choices. Women voicing reasonable dissent = nags who need to shut up and carry the baggage.

God the fucking smugness on here is quite bizarre. It's all 'ooh look at me being a better wife than you because I wouldn't butch and moan and nag. Look at me wifing better than you'

Jesus. You can disagree and have a different point of view without coming across as a smug, condescending stepford wife can't you?

The op offered her dp the chance to go. HE said no.

I find it so hard to believe so many people would be fine with this in real life!
around €500 to stay an extra 4 hours , a total pita for op getting everything home and op's first day back at work the following day after mat leave
she's certainly not being controlling, a martyr or any of the other stupid things she's been called by people who either haven't read the fill thread, are incredibly selfish themselves or have set the bar incredibly low as to what they expect from their own dp.
Its not about loving each other and making each other happy, he was offered the chance to go when flights were being booked, he said no, so now it should just be tough luck, and what about him loving and supporting op?