To expect husband to travel home with us?

[Lenny1987]

Going on holiday to ireland on Saturday. Husband is irish, so we are spending the week in his village. We are travelling back the following sunday, all ireland final day. His team is in the final. When we were booking the flights I mentioned this to him, and he said his team wouldn't get there, and he had enough on that month (a stag weekend, and a weekend in dublin at the hurling final). Now the time has come, his team are there, and he wants to spend £200 on a new flight later that night so he can watch the match. This means I am travelling home from an 8 day holiday with all our stuff and a 10month old baby. He asked my opinion, and now hes annoyed that I dont think it's ok. His team get to this match regularly and he has been to it before. I have suggested not looking at social media and watching immediately as we return.

[Crunchymum]

Hold up. So he doesn't even have a ticket?????

Will he be able to get one????

Kerry have been in 60 finals? How many have they won?

[NeverTalksToStrangers]

Tickets always materialise if you really want one. Usually.

[CareBear50]

I have flown from new Zealand to UK with an 18 month child and a three year old. If he's normally a great husband and you can afford it I think you should let him go. Marriages work best on compromise

[flyingspaghettimonster]

I think it is fine. I had to travel from America to newcastle and back several times with 8 bags a double stroller and 2-3 kids 5 and under alone. That was tough, making connections etc when you have to push a trolley a few feet then the stroller etc... one time the trolley tipped over and I tore 3 acrylic nails half off catching it so it didn't hit my babies. Had to do the rest of that journey dripping with blood. Another time the 8 hour flight involved 5 explosive diaper changes for a child that I had only packed 4 nappies for. He was wearing just my cardigan by the time we got off and the business man next to me wanted to kill me.

1 short haul flight, a few bags and a 10 month old isn't so bad. And he will owe you big time with all these weekends of fun he has planned. Make sure he realises what a nice, understanding wife he has and ways he can return the favour.

[Derbee]

I think people are focusing on whether it’s possible to fly alone with a baby. Of course it is. What’s not fine is changing your mind last minute about going to an event that you have already said you don’t want to go to. Paying money for another plane ticket, the sports event ticket, taxis on both sides for both people etc etc. Also not fine to be preparing for your first day back from maternity leave without your partner even being home and involved in any way. YANBU

[pallisers]

I think it is fine. I had to travel from America to newcastle and back several times with 8 bags a double stroller and 2-3 kids 5 and under alone. That was tough, making connections etc when you have to push a trolley a few feet then the stroller etc... one time the trolley tipped over and I tore 3 acrylic nails half off catching it so it didn't hit my babies. Had to do the rest of that journey dripping with blood. Another time the 8 hour flight involved 5 explosive diaper changes for a child that I had only packed 4 nappies for. He was wearing just my cardigan by the time we got off and the business man next to me wanted to kill me.

I feel for you. That must have been tough. Did you take from your experience that every woman should have to do the same thing? How odd.

[Soreo]

I don't think YABU as it would be a complete headache for you and especially as it's your first baby, these things always seem a bigger deal the first time you have to do them with a baby. But I also see it from his side. He (presumably) lives in your home country most of the time so he has (somewhat) sacrificed his cultural identity on a day to day basis, and if it's one thing I know about the Irish it's that they are very tied to their roots. Obviously you're married to him so you'll know that, but I still think on some level you won't "understand" that unless you're from Ireland. I imagine he's had such a great time at home, got caught up in all the familiarity and that sense of belonging and just got carried away with the excitement of the match.

It's a really short flight...If he's generally a good husband and he doesn't get home too often I would let him go. It's hard living away from your family/country and I imagine it's especially so, when that country is somewhere like Ireland.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

The issue isn’t whether or not the OP can manage the flight but rather whether she should have to manage the flight whilst her “D”H spunks €400 on a different flight and a search for a ticket for a match he specifically said he didn’t want to see when they were booking the flights.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

I have flown from new Zealand to UK with an 18 month child and a three year old. If he's normally a great husband and you can afford it I think you should let him go. Marriages work best on compromise

Well done you.

Yes, CareBear50 'compromise' - don't see the DH compromising at all, funny that. Or does compromise only applies to the woman/mother? OP even organised and booked the flights (and I'm assuming everything else) to attend a wedding in his home town - so going to assume it was his friend or family's wedding and she even had to organise them all going. OP has only had one break in 10 months, he has had multiple expensive breaks running into nearly £2000 incl flight ticket to fly 4 hours later because he changed his mind. And you say marriage works best on compromise - yeah lots of compromising going on here alright.

[Poppins2016]

I think people are focusing on whether it’s possible to fly alone with a baby. Of course it is. What’s not fine is changing your mind last minute about going to an event that you have already said you don’t want to go to. Paying money for another plane ticket, the sports event ticket, taxis on both sides for both people etc etc. Also not fine to be preparing for your first day back from maternity leave without your partner even being home and involved in any way. YANBU

^ Couldn't agree more.

[MulticolourMophead]

I agree with that, too. He's being selfish, there's no compromise going on here, OP's been dumped with all the crap.

[Lenny1987]

@soreo

Just to point out he moved to the UK and my home city before we met, it wasnt a sacrifice from him for us to be together.

I think all of you women who have done huge flights with no help, 5 kids and suitcases etc. Are great, but my issue (as others have pointed out) is more that I shouldn't have to do that because of my dh's poor planning!

[Jebuschristchocolatebar]

Kerry will never win.

[howdyalikemenow]

Hope you make it home ok @Lenny1987 and good luck on your first day back at work!

[lifesgoodwithlg]

As an Irish person who appreciates the important of the GAA final .. not a freaking chance. You are not being unreasonable. Well done to everyone who managed to scale Antarctica with child and multiple bags but a resounding NO from me. Fairs fair . He's allowed to be disappointed BUT he's a dad now and meant to be looking after you. Has anyone thought of practicalities . How do you physically manager to carry baby and 2 cases? If he gets a ticket it will be last minute and flights will increase hugely. No no no, not fair. Ps up the dubs

[Cloudyapples]

You gave him the option when booking the flights, so I think yanbu to stick to the original plan.

[timeisnotaline]

Marriages work best on compromise
Oh yes absolutely - but he’s compromised how? Oh, hes definitely compromised on being supportive of his wife’s return to work after her mat leave. And he’s compromised on carrying his own weight in the new family by expecting her to manage baby and luggage on her own. And he’s compromised on planning for the family which she tried to do in advance. If by compromised you mean he doesn’t give a shit. That makes more sense.

[NeverTalksToStrangers]

lenny what's happening? Is he going to the match?

[beanaseireann]

What a match !!!

[ny20005]

Hope he didn't go - what a waste of all that money 😩

[Lowlandlucky]

Jeez oh just travel with the baby and your cases then book yourself into a local spa when he gets back

[TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre]

😂 😂 Was thinking of you DH a few mins ago. Hope he got to see the game. Great match!!

[Howyiz]

He'll have to go back again for the replay!

[beanaseireann]

If he stayed for the match he got his money's worth. Amazing match. But there's a replay now.
What happened OP ?

[Monkeyseesmonkeydoes]

Hope he got to see it!! Presumably you’ll be on here soon OP complaining that he wants to go to the replay?!