To have not appreciated the responsibility of getting a dog

[FirTree31]

After looking for over a year I found the dog for us last week. She is a five month old hound and beautiful, she walks to my heel, recalls (although struggling with distractions slightly), sits, is loving and affectionate. We have really bonded, and we start training on Friday.

However, I am a lone parent to two boys, one just started school, and I work four days a week (I was on AL all last week and working two days this week). She is still anxious, following me most of the time but is getting more confident every day. I thought I would be able to leave her in the house and have a dog walker in a few times a week, but now, I'm not sure, she's too young to leave and doesn't have that disposition. I didn't appreciate how much I really need someone here to help. My eldest walk her in the morning, and she has the run of the back garden, but I'm worried about winter months when he won't want to because it's dark. Day care will cost me £250 a month, which I cannot afford, walkers will cost £160. I am so upset, I don't know what's best. I want her to be happy, I want to keep her, she was very very wanted.

Can I just ask, how do people juggle this? I don't want us to miss out on yet something else because I'm alone.

The dog hasn't been left for 8 hours a day yet.

Our dog is a rescue with lots of issues and she still has a very happy life with this arrangement.
Bit shocked at all the people who would say this is cruel!

Thing is though, this is a good outcome with a rescue, which is great. My DDog - nothing worked unfortunately. We did separation training under supervision of a behaviourist recommended by our vet - so over the course of months. He still gets distressed to the point where he will hurt himself unfortunately if left for periods of time. OP's dog isn't a rescue, so proper separation training is far more likely to be successful, but it isn't guaranteed and OP is already back at work so there isn't the dedicated time available that you would usually devote to separation training. Her DD is going to be thrown straight in to long periods of time alone depending on what she can sort out. I think that's probably what's making the OP anxious. It's a lot of pressure and she's just realised the difficulties.

Not fair to leave a dog home all day. Did you not think about that before?

I agree, it just isn't fair to leave a young dog all day for that long. You have to rehome her I'm afraid. The breeder sounds really irresponsible.

Ask yourself how much happier your dog would be in another household where they are not left that long alone.
What were you thinking taking this on as a single parent? I wouldn’t have considered it.

Your situation can work OP. I'd definitely get a walker imo take the pressure off you, especially in winter months.
I worked full time with a young dog. We had a couple of people pop in throughout the day to break his day up. He did totally fine. But you'll need a bit longer with him then a week- he needs to learn to trust you.

Learn about ways you can mentally enrich him other than walks; food toys like kongs, licky mats, antlers that he can chew. Training (tricks, obedience, even dog sports like agility) are great mental work outs for dogs. My boy is exhausted after 45 mins of scent searching and it would require 3 hours of walking to get him to the same place.

Look at borrowmydoggy too, there are people on there who would love to care for a dog but can't have one for whatever reason.

@Benjispruce so no one who works and can afford a dog walker should own a dog? what exactly are your criteria then? And please link to the evidence you base this on?

In reply to thr question I was asked - becasue the OP has indicated that she doesn't think the puppy can be left and she knows the dog best. All dogs and families are different so I'm just going on what she's said, along with my own experience. If things were working well then the OP wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. However I do appreciate other people will have different views and experiences with their furry family members.

OP - I wish you every luck, whatever you decide. Be kind to yourself. Some dogs would be fine with the set up you've got. Neither of my dogs would have been at 5 months but that doesn't mean it can't work for you. I still think you should let her go to a home where people are around more if the day. Take care.

I agree, Autumn. It’s cruel.

I think the people suggesting returning likely have no idea of the impact of repeated rehoming in dogs with existing anxiety issues. It’s unlikely to be helpful for the dog in the long term

This.

The OP's position is probably going to be OK - she has planned for a dog walker before she got the pup because she knows she works FT, she is just having a blip about the puppy training aspect of avoiding separation anxiety and how to handle that. Maybe it'll be more expensive for a while, but that's OK. Dogs are expensive and almost everything is an "unexpected" expense but things can get juggled, usually, if you're willing to put the work in and OP sounds as if they will.

I am an anxious over worrier and probably just concerned with the change. I appreciate I didn't fully grasp the possibility of separation anxiety through, but I am working on it through the training

This is not an irresponsible owner. I am 100% behind the "don't get a dog unless you've researched it and are in it for the long-haul with the dog's welfare and not your convenience at the forefront" but sometimes on MN posters get unfairly pilloried, as if they should be "made an example of" to atone for all the shitty owners out there.

This OP had a specific problem for right now they wanted help with. And it's (another) thread of people saying "rehome the dog" without really properly considering if that's the right thing for this dog with this owner.

Actual hound? I really hope not. I'm afraid you made a mistake thinking you should have a puppy and leave it for hours. I find that shocking/selfish. Ours go to the neighbour or she spends time in our house with them on the 3 days a month when we're both out 7-4. I suggest you find daycare and get a camera to see how she's coping being alone for hours.

Do you have any elderly neighbours who would love a daytime companion? Or theres 'Borrow my Doggy. Only other thing I can think of is dog walk share scheme if you can find someone who needs doggy day care, you look after theirs in return they look after yours.

My own dog died last year, I miss her so much, too much to get another for over a year, but I missed dogs and walking them, I looked around to see if I could walk/borrow friends and neighbours, I either got a no or they wanted to charge me so I know there are people out there, I can't have been the only one

You really cant keep her. You are not equipped to meet her needs. A decent breeder/rescue would not hand over a dog that will be left for so long. 8 hours is massive to a dog. I understand peoples circumstances change, but you have taken her on without considering how she will feel. She has only been with you a week, so will be able to fit in with another home, keep her any longer and it will be cruel to her if you decide in a month or 2 that you cant cope.
Get a dog when your life is less busy and you can have one with you most of the time.

Dogs do tend to adapt to their situations. However, is be feeling the same as you in this situation. We got a dog last year, my first ever. And whilst i don't regret it one bit it is like having a silent toddler for all the attention he needs. Have you tried looking at a breed group on Facebook? I found some amazing groups for sausage dog owners and lovers and have found people whom will sign and walk for free in return for the same from you. Might be something to consider.

I have 2 boxers (mother and son)
My partner and I both work full time but both the dogs get out for a run before work and a longer walk after work everyday. The mother would be completely fine on her own as she just sleeps but the younger one has always had her for company.
Also they have the run of our lounge, garage and fully fenced backyard. We are in NZ so bit safer in my area
They do adapt but I think you do need to look at finding a regular dog walker or possibly a single mum looking for a bit of cash would be happy to look after your dog during the day? I dunno, just an idea

Your haven't thought this through. A puppy/dog is a massive commitment.

It's one of the main reasons I am moving back home. My dog never really settled in my flat and howls constantly if I leave, even if I'm just putting the bins out. He doesn't doesn't do this when we're at my mom's.

If I want to go to the corner shop I have to spend about 30 minutes hiding bits of food around the house so he doesn't notice I'm gone and hotel the place down.

His daycare is costing me £400 a month.

All these things I didn't think about when I got him while I was living comfy at home.

May have already been suggested but what about booking her in for a half day at daycare OP? She’ll be fine alone for 4 hours until you get home.

Tbh I wouldn't have got a dog in your circumstances. We got a puppy a few months ago, but waited until my husband retired until doing so. A cat is much better if you're working.

Our dog is left 8.30-6pm on weekdays. She has a dog Walker for 30 mins at lunchtime. She copes fine. We have a camera to watch her and I can say its very rare to see her awake on it!

Sounds like a bored and depressed dog sleeping all day because there is nothing else etc do. What a shitty life.

I don’t know why people have dogs if they’re going to leave them all day. 8.30 till 6pm 5 days a week is too long, even with 30 mins walk. What’s the point in having a dog if you’re out of the house the majority of the time? It’s unfair.

Dogs thrive on company and want to be with their humans. A dog should never be left for more than 4 hours max. A dog sleeping all day is a bored dog. I’ve always found having a young pup much harder than having a toddler! They need lots of company, training, attention which cannot be met if you are working full time. Sad, but true. I think it has already been suggested but perhaps consider paying for a dog day care to come and collect the dog and return for half the day each day you are at work? If this really isn’t financially viable then rehoming would be best for the dog. Perhaps you could then sign up for ‘Borrow my Doggy’ and get your dog fix at weekends without having the full time responsibility? I do feel for you, but you really do need to put the dogs needs above your own needs/wants of having a pet that requires so much. Best of luck to you.

Dogs can learn to cope with all sorts of shit. Beatings, being on the street, solitude. Just like rabbits cope with being hutched 24/7 and many zoos keep animals in small cages, orcas in small pools etc.
What an animal can learn to tolerate without dying, isnt necessarily the same as what is best for an animal you've decided to adopt.

I would see if you can find a helpful neighbour. I was writing up my thesis when the downstairs neighbours got a lab puppy. She came back at lunchtime and I took him for 30 minute morning and afternoon walks for about £10 a day. Given I was writing up unpaid it was a win-win.

I think you can make it work.
I don't agree that a dog sleeping is necessarily bored- my DLurcher will sleep most of the day whether or not we are at home. Obviously a Border Collie for example would not do that but hounds are quite lazy.
Agree with a PP who said that when they come home at lunchtime they feel like they are disturbing the dog!
I think if you can get someone to come in around the middle of the day for a walk (and a treat), it will be fine.
Also, I would suggest leaving the radio on for the dog when you are out for company.

Of course it’s better for the dog to be adopted than dying. It doesn’t mean that it being left alone all day is fair though and that it won’t be depressed or lonely.
And let’s face it people get a dog mostly for themselves and not because the dog is in a rescue.