To have not appreciated the responsibility of getting a dog

[FirTree31]

After looking for over a year I found the dog for us last week. She is a five month old hound and beautiful, she walks to my heel, recalls (although struggling with distractions slightly), sits, is loving and affectionate. We have really bonded, and we start training on Friday.

However, I am a lone parent to two boys, one just started school, and I work four days a week (I was on AL all last week and working two days this week). She is still anxious, following me most of the time but is getting more confident every day. I thought I would be able to leave her in the house and have a dog walker in a few times a week, but now, I'm not sure, she's too young to leave and doesn't have that disposition. I didn't appreciate how much I really need someone here to help. My eldest walk her in the morning, and she has the run of the back garden, but I'm worried about winter months when he won't want to because it's dark. Day care will cost me £250 a month, which I cannot afford, walkers will cost £160. I am so upset, I don't know what's best. I want her to be happy, I want to keep her, she was very very wanted.

Can I just ask, how do people juggle this? I don't want us to miss out on yet something else because I'm alone.

I agree that this was not properly thought out before you got the dog but it is too late for that now as you have her, so it is probably best for people not to go on about that.

I agree with the people who suggest that at the moment you see how long you can leave her for. If you can leave her for a few hours, then the idea that one poster had of having a walker come in twice a day initially was a good idea, even if they don't walk her for one of the visits, just lets her in the garden. Have you taken the advice of any local dog trainers? Additionally, do you have any neighbours who may be able to 'dog-sit' for all or part of the day? Perhaps not all day but for a few hours at their house? Maybe someone who likes dogs but can't have one of their own for whatever reason? Alternatively, maybe a neighbour who can pop in once a day to see her in addition to a walker? That might help keep the cost down. (Perhaps a bottle of wine or come round for dinner every now and then might be a good payment)?

It does sound as if you really love the dog and at least you are facing up to the issue. If you can not arrange something fairly soon, it is perhaps best to face the fact that you can't keep her. If she starts to develop problems due to the situation, ie chewing/barking etc, she will become a 'problem' dog, more difficult to re-home and it really won't have been her fault.

I wish you luck and hope that you are able to sort it out.

My worry is if u are out all day five days a week when are u going to fit in training. It is one of the most important things to do with a dog and should be done everyday

YABU that you didn't realise this. Having a dog is almost like a child in that they need a lot of care in the beginning. My dog is three and it's only in the last few weeks she has stopped following me upstairs. Anywhere I walk downstairs it in the garden she still follows me. Why wouldn't she as I'm her mum and her best entertainment.

The longest my dog has been left was just over four hours and that was in an emergency. We had bought a £40 camera and I can check on her whenever I want and talk to her but don't as once I did and she was confused. If I leave her for three hours it feels like forever for me so those who leave a dog all day are unkind in my opinion.

You really should have planned better. You thought a walker would come and the dog would fit in. Where was the dog walker going to come from ?!

I second the get a camera view and start to leave her, see what she gets up to. Although please be prepared to gasp when you see her chewing something and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it as you're not there. Pups do get bored. I've two dogs who are left for 6 hours. At 6 months they chewed cables, stands of carpet, shoes, anything really. This happened even though they had a walker and often my grandad would call in on them too. Now they don't do anything (one 14 months, one 3), they literally just move around the living room finding different places to sleep. They could manage 8 hours, and have done on a few occasions when I've been late from work or had an emergency, but I did come home to accidents which was understandable. Please please don't leave her in a crate though for 8 hours. My neighbour caged her bulldog for 8 hours and the thought of him breaks my heart.

Have you no older neighbours who could have her during the day? My DF used to look after a neighbours dog for them, they dropped him off in the morning and picked him back up in the evening. He was company for my DF and they had a lovely time together.

What about signing up on Borrow my doggie?

I'm kind of stunned you thought it would be OK to leave a dog all day and that it would just sleep while you were out. You've had a year to research this and think about it and only now are you starting to realise it might not work?

^This. I am surprised you've not had your arse handed to you on a plate earlier in the thread OP, I think you are getting off lightly, and now you come on with the poor me I am anxious

I think its telling though the number of people coming in here falling over themselves to tell you that its all fine and dandy, it seems to be popular opinion lately that dogs are ok whatever you do to them. As for "people telling me different things" - well its like on here, people tend to say things that will make it look like its just a fuss over nothing (the dog being the nothing).

Any basic internet search will tell you that you can't leave a dog all day. I just can't get my head around your attitude that you are not to blame as you "thought" it would be ok. I have nothing to add to all the suggestions, everyone has covered every possibility. If you do have to return it I'd go for the breed rescue (you need to Google that) not just hand it back to the breeder for him to make yet another wad of notes on.

We live in a village next to a main city, there are 600 dog walkers in the city alone, and dozens even in this village. Obviously not all are legit, but then plenty are. It is too late in the week to get a dog walker now as we would have to all meet, she will go to daycare tomorrow.
Plenty of people work FT and have dogs, I don't, I work four days, so I just wanted to hear from people as to how they juggle it.

Of course the breeder told you that. The breeder wanted to make a sale

Not in my experience. I am currently puppy seeking and speaking to a lot of breeders. The good ones will absolutely NOT send their puppies home to a household where all adults work FT outside of the home. It is a hard no. Any breeder worth their salt should be asking questions about where their puppies are going and what sort of life they’ll be leading.

Can you advertise in the boys’ schools for local teens or parents who love dogs and work different hours to you? I didn’t realise before I got ddog that most dogs don’t like being on their own. Mine lives to wag his tail at people - there are plenty of children that don’t have pets and parents that would love to but just can’t as it’s a huge commitment.

You need more people really, your dog will be lonely otherwise. I know people do it but it’s not ideal for the dog.

Don't panic. We had a dog. I had two weeks AL with her when she was 8 weeks then resumed full time work. My mum went in one day a week and the rest of the time we had a dog walker. She adapted fine. She was a clean dog and never once messed in the house. She was walked before and after work and she was a delight. She will settle down, don't worry.

Slowly build up the time from her, I did an hour a day then slowly built it up. Leave the radio on too.

Many people do work full time and have dogs. Doesn't mean to say they should.

DH and I both work full time but he works from home and I can WFH whenever I need to. On the rare occasions neither of us can be at home ddog goes to daycare.

Sorry but I just think it's cruel to leave them for that length of time, just look at and animal charity and they will tell you four hours max, for an adult dog.

Can you get a dog flap put into your back door? That's what we did when I was a child. Dog walker came twice a day, and dog flap meant they could go outside whenever they wanted.

Have you thought about borrow my doggy, you can sign up and someone local who would be available to walk your dog or just keep it company during the day but can’t commit to having a dog of their own.

Also just to add, you need to prepare for the unexpected too. I've had to take leave today as my pup has the poos. Fully house trained but currently shitting everywhere = me scrubbing for the majority of the day. They really are like having a child.

It's really tough OP - you sound very loving and it's clear you want to do the right thing, but I don't see what your options are unless you can pay a dog walker twice a day.

Very few dogs can cope with being left along for hours, especially at quite a young age.

Could you try and find someone local with a dog and offer a walk swap, so they walk your dog one day a week when you're at work and you walk theirs on your day off in the week in return? That would cut down on a bit of the paid dog walking. If you could do that and one day a week of dog day care, could you afford a twice daily dog walker for the other two days?

Have you looked at the borrow my doggy website. I have found it to be fantastic. I have a dog and work 3 days a week and have a regular family who love dogs and look after him for me while I’m at work. Some people have one or several dog borrowers who look after their dog. And the doggie borrowers do it because they love dogs, not for payment.

To leave a dog alone for 8 hours IS neglect. Speak to any vet or reputable breeder and they will tell you that. It's shameful that there are people who think it's fine to treat a dog like that. I suppose I'll get an "oh bless" comment now too; hope being sarcastic makes you feel better about being a neglectful dog owner.

Can you get a dog flap put into your back door?

Not a good idea if no one at home to keep an eye out.
Dogs are stolen from gardens. They don't need to be valuable pedigrees, any kind of dog can be used as bait for dog fighting.

Hi OP,
I do feel for you, but I think maybe you chose the wrong dog, or didn't allow for enough time. As she's only a puppy she will need to be built up to be left alone for longer- sounds like you haven't got the time to do this, or it might be costly if it's done via doggie daycare.
I'm in a similar position - single parent to 3 young DC. We got DDog a year ago, as youngest DC started reception. She was a (then) approximately 3 year old rescue so in many ways we had it easy - she was housetrained, listened well to commands, and had no problems being on her own during the day. That said, I do only work 6 hours a day and term-time only, so it's not quite such a long stretch.
I get up very early to give her a decent walk, then she walks DC to school with me, I take her home and drive to work. So she's literally had a walk before being left - this seems to work fine.
You don't specify what kind of hound you have but many of them do need a good amount of exercise; so again I'm not sure if you can fit that into your day?
Good luck though I hope you can make it work. I found once you've settled into a bit of a routine it's a bit easier.

"Everyone including the breeder" said she'd sleep all day? What? Sorry but I don't think any dog should be left alone all day. DP and I both work full time. Which is why we can't have a dog.

Don't forget the insurance / vet plan costs, OP. You need to factor those in to your budget.

Also time off work for vet visits. A bit like another DC, as pp have said.

Daycare might actually help socialise her if you find the right one, OP.

According to this thread nobody who works can have a dog.
I don’t actually work before anyone accuses me of neglect - but have relatives and friends who work and have dogs. The dogs are fine, because they are happy and looked after dogs. Some have dog walkers, some come home at lunchtime, some have dc who arrive home at 3.30 and can let the dog out and keep it company. The dogs do have a stretch of time alone but the rest of the time are walked, brushed, cuddled, talked to.

That’s better imo than being at home and not walking a dog / being at home and not paying it much attention.

What I don’t like is my neighbour who crates her dog for most of the day even though she is home, and I’ve never seen her take it for a walk.

Even though I don’t work, I do sometimes have a full day out somewhere where ddog can’t come along. In that case I pay a friend’s teenager to come in and walk and play with ddog. Or I leave the dog at a friend’s house. Or if I really had no option I’d book ddog into boarding, with the boarder she knows well and loves and who walks and plays with her and has her sleeping in the house.

When you want to go away OP, look at home boarding rather than kennels. It’s expensive but I wouldn’t kennel my dog.

Dogs are expensive, OP. I didn’t realise the cost until I got one. I sometimes think about the spare cash I’d have without ddog. But she’s worth every penny.

What I don’t like is my neighbour who crates her dog for most of the day

I think that should actually be illegal.