To have not appreciated the responsibility of getting a dog

[FirTree31]

After looking for over a year I found the dog for us last week. She is a five month old hound and beautiful, she walks to my heel, recalls (although struggling with distractions slightly), sits, is loving and affectionate. We have really bonded, and we start training on Friday.

However, I am a lone parent to two boys, one just started school, and I work four days a week (I was on AL all last week and working two days this week). She is still anxious, following me most of the time but is getting more confident every day. I thought I would be able to leave her in the house and have a dog walker in a few times a week, but now, I'm not sure, she's too young to leave and doesn't have that disposition. I didn't appreciate how much I really need someone here to help. My eldest walk her in the morning, and she has the run of the back garden, but I'm worried about winter months when he won't want to because it's dark. Day care will cost me £250 a month, which I cannot afford, walkers will cost £160. I am so upset, I don't know what's best. I want her to be happy, I want to keep her, she was very very wanted.

Can I just ask, how do people juggle this? I don't want us to miss out on yet something else because I'm alone.

We just picked eldest up from school and had another walk.
I had a 121 with a pup trainer this morning, who I am then starting weekly training with on Friday. I will do day care this week and a dog walkers from next week. I am getting a lot of different opinions from people so I guess I will have to find what works for us. I am an anxious over worrier and probably just concerned with the change. I appreciate I didn't fully grasp the possibility of separation anxiety through, but I am working on it through the training

I'm afraid I don't understand OP ? Can you afford dog walking or not ?

I am getting a lot of different opinions from people so I guess I will have to find what works for us This. All dogs are different and all owners are different. You just have to find what works for your circumstances and the dog you have.
Good luck!

Rook - she has said. She can afford a dog walker not daycare.

I'm sure that your dog will be fine with having a dog walker. She'll get into a routine and sleep before and after they have come.

Try not to worry too much.

Even now our puppy is 10 months old she is never left longer than 4 hours alone. Even our old 10 year old dog wasn’t left more than 4 hours alone.
This morning I went out with the kids from 9-1.30 and because it was over the 4 hours I paid a dog walker to take her out.
I’m not perfect by any means, a few mornings a week she is left home from 8.30-1pm, but ALWAYS has a dog walker come in half way through.
When she was really small we even had a dog sitter come in and sit with her for an hour while we went to the cinema or out for dinner, as she would howl if left alone and was only a tiny baby in the great scheme of things.
I’m in a pretty affluent area and she goes to 3 different doggy day cares. All of them are £10 for half a day and £20 for a full day. It’s just something you have to pay.

I can afford dog walkers, they were always the plan, I would never expect to leave a dog all day alone (although I know people that do). I am just anxious, anxious about money, anxious about leaving her, anxious about whether I've done the right thing, anxious because I'm on my own and spreading myself thinly with two children and a dog. Perhaps this isn't my finest hour and it is the wrong choice, I will contact the breeder (who is a neighbor to my ex's parents) and speak to her about things, perhaps I could give it a month? I will not compromise on her care, she is well looked after and of course I want it to stay that way, I know that what you put in you get out.

She is crate training now, she has started sleeping in her crate at night.

I really think you should return her to the breeder. Was this a legit breeder or was it Gumtree or similar? The "she'll sleep most of the day" line is a crock of shit, which is why I'm wondering if it's the latter.

Some dogs can never be left at all (our dog is a rescue and he can never be left alone because of his isolation distress). Most dogs can be left for a few hours, but you have to be realistic - some can never cope with a full working day. The problem here is that you haven't allowed yourself any time to gradually build up the time you leave her. You also haven't thought through any of the "what ifs". You can't assume that any dog is going to be ok being left for long periods. This happens A LOT because people don't think it through and don't research the right things. Dogs are really demanding - you have to fit around them and their needs (not the other way around). It's not just you. A lot of people don't realise/can't imagine what it's going to realistically be like. Honestly, I think you should return the pup, I'm sorry.

Sorry, cross post. I see from your update you know the breeder.

Day care to begin with. Take as much annual leave as you can as soon as possible. Then doggy day care for a while followed by two dog walker visits a day when she is more settled.

We have a dog and he had two walks a day up to a year old and changed to one walk after that. He is never left more than 4 hours alone, which you wouldn’t either if someone came in mid day.

@FirTree31 everyone gets the 'puppy blues' and the 'what the hell have I let myself in for' moment! Just head over to the Doghouse to see all the 'puppy blues' threads! You've only had her a week and she only had you for a week so things will change very quickly.

I’ve no idea how you thought your family could cope with a dog and after a year really should have identified these problems before you actually got the dog .

A dog is in reality is another child that never really grows up.
You would have been better to get a rescue older dog that would be happy to sleep all day and already used to being left .

Return the dog now before it spends its life sad and lonely

Also a lot of pet companies will do puppy visits.
Usually £5 for a 30 minute visit around here.
That would be more helpful for you right now than a walker.
I’d aim for them to pop in at 10, 2 and 4pm.
With this puppy we have learnt that the more help the better.
We have 3 day cares we use, my parents will have her, we have 1 dog walker and a friend with the same breed dog who pops in if we are desperate.
Having an army of people really helps!
Have you looked at borrow my doggy?

8 hours alone a day on a regular basis is neglect and shouldn't be allowed. I can't understand why this is allowed. It's not even just about whether you happen to have an anxious dog or a confident one - a confident dog happy left lone is still going to have a miserable existence left on its own most days. It's not enough to say their bladder is large enough to go that long. There is much more to owning a dog than can it's bladder last 8 hours. I'd rehome asap.I see this all of the time where I live and it really grates me. Busy families, both working full time, young kids, kids activities to take the kids to etc etc. THEN they get a dog and leave it inside on it's own all day. Selfish and neglectful. My doh has been left longer than 5 hours about 10 times in his entire life. He's nearly 10 years old.

I had a new kitten a year ago and to be honest I wouldn't recommend a kitten to someone with your work pattern, let alone a puppy. Sorry.

Whatever you do decide please do not leave her caged during the day with just a walker coming , dogs are not supposed to live in cages and that would be plain cruel .

What's happened in the past 5 months - that's the most important thing to work out. If the dog has already been homed and returned then I would expect the separation anxiety to be fairly significant.

8 hours alone a day on a regular basis is neglect and shouldn't be allowed Oh bless, if you want to see neglect, you need to do my job for a day. Leaving a dog with separation anxiety for 8 hours is detrimental to their welfare, yes. But many dogs can and do manage fine.

ask at your vet. Sometimes the younger assistants moonlight as cat sitter, maybe they know someone who would babysit your dog. Another dog might help but that's another whole can of worms

You need a solution for four days a week. Can you do a mix of daycare and walking? Say, two days daycare and two days walking? Or morning daycare? Ours is so knackered after daycare that he just sleeps, so maybe a morning's day care then home for an afternoon kip?

BastardPup goes to daycare one day a week - it has really helped to build his confidence around other dogs and he loves it. I am at home one day and DH another. For the other two days he is left in his crate from 8.30am til around 11.30am and then my mam comes over and he has the run of the house and garden.

How old is your eldest? DS 12 was insistent that he would do all of the walking and that quickly went by the wayside when he realised that dogs poo. It means I get up half an hour earlier than I used to to take him out on days he is at home all day.

I'm sorry OP, but you cannot get a five month old puppy and leave it at home alone all day - even with a dog walker, it's just not feasible and not fair on the dog. They're sociable animals and need company, especially at a young age when they're still learning.

At five months she needs company - not all the time, she can probably be left for an hour or two, but otherwise she'll need letting out to the toilet. She should also still be on three meals a day so someone needs to come in and feed her at lunchtime. As far as walks go, she can only be out for about thirty minutes at a time, so you'll need to be pay for her to be walked solo for a while (as most walkers do hour long walks).

But even with a walker, 8+ hours a day is far, far too long. It's cruel. Puppies need attention and company and someone to be with them. You can't train a puppy if you're out of the house all day, either - it's just not possible.

You could consider daycare, although many won't take them at under 6 months of age, or see if a family member or neighbour could help you out. At 18 months mine spends the day with my in-laws while we both work - even at that age there's no way I could leave him all day. He needs the toilet, he likes a cuddle, he likes to be with people and not just left on his own.

I really feel you should rehome the dog, it's not fair to leave it all day, 4 hours is the max, I'm surprised the people you got it off didn't tell you that.

There's plenty of dog walkers around, or people who will visit your house on a 'puppy visit' to play etc...

I agree daycare would be the best in these circumstances though. It would socialise her too. Have you looked at all the daycare options in your area? Not all of them are that much more expensive than a dog walker and some in my area offer half days where they drop them home at lunch time. They'd probably sleep for the rest of the day from running round mad with the other dogs all morning, ours is shattered after a day at daycare.

I use two different daycare and they are different and amazing. It's all worth it for a well socialised dog, not to mention a tired one. He definitely never sees the inside of a kennel.

For the difference in cost between a walker and day care I would go for the day care initially. There must be somewhere else you can make savings?

If you hire a dog walker mid day, thats fine. As long as she gets out in morning and gets out when you return home...and attention during weekend and when you are home. I pretty much have sole responsibility of the dog as my partner RARELY takes her out, as he works late. But I am at home all day, so its fine for me to take her out. That being said if I worked and she had walk mid day, that would be fine too. The need more attention early on.