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Original poster

Husband brought a woman into our home

835 replies

girlsgonetame · 19/08/2019 09:37

I posted here recently about a friendship my husband has developed with a colleague. He saved her in his phone under a mans name, lied about seeing her, said it was because I was jealous and he didn't want to have to explain himself. I decided he should give me some space for a few days whilst I worked on my issues with trust and jealousy. He came home at the weekend, assured me there was nothing going on and that he loved me, loved our family, didn't want to ruin that. He told me he would maintain a friendship with this woman as they are doing nothing wrong but that he would be more honest with me about it

Fast forward to today. I am supposed to be at work today but after everything that has happened I couldn't face it so have taken the kids to holiday club with the youngest at DHs parents house and booked myself last minute leave so that I could have a day at home with nothing else planned, get some jobs done, have some time actually to myself without DC or H around

He cycled to work this morning so left really early (starts at 8)
Just before 9 a car pulled up and out they both got. She was walking around my house like she owned the place. Was I unreasonable to hit the roof? He says he'd forgotten something that he needed for a meeting this morning and she had offered to drive him as he'd cycled.

She didn't even say anything she just said "I think I'd better go and wait in the car" 

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 19/08/2019 10:30

Did she take him back to work in her car?

CacenCrunch · 19/08/2019 10:30

Wow! What did he forget, and how did they react when they saw you?

KTheGrey · 19/08/2019 10:32

Things to do:
Check all finances. Make copies and password protect anything private.
Ring round friends for number of good divorce solicitor / advisor and therapist / counsellor.
Ring solicitor. Set up mediation.
Ring therapist / counsellor. Set up session asap.
Book lots of self care.
Pack dh's essentials and put them on doorstep. Ask for keys back.
If he's not cheating this is salvageable. If he is cheating it's salvageable if he comes clean and goes to mediation. But it if he is cheating and lying about it this is coming to an end and you need to take a deep breath and make sure it's on your terms. Flowers

AnyFucker · 19/08/2019 10:33

Op won't be backto answer any queries

MzHz · 19/08/2019 10:33

Ah come on! Nobody but nobody wants to know that they’re being cheated on!

Everyone wants to find that it’s all a massive misunderstanding and they’re a silly bully for ever having doubted their oh.

I don’t blame you for a second op, but I think you do need to gently allow your brain to clear.

when instincts are tripping as much as this, when he’s stuck her name as Steve, when they rock up at 9am when you’re not not supposed to be there, it’s really not you love, it is him lying.

He needs to go and stay gone. I agree that it looks like she’s been there before.

In your bed love. :(

That’s a special kind of bastard, and actually a truly awful kind of woman to do that.

BlueSkiesLies · 19/08/2019 10:35

He says he'd forgotten something that he needed for a meeting this morning and she had offered to drive him as he'd cycled

99% certain he is having an affair and you caught them coming home to shag. Sorry.

Sleepsoon7 · 19/08/2019 10:35

So did he then pick up something and go off to her car? Did you have it out with him? What else did he say about it? What do you want to happen next?

MrsTishellsNeckBrace · 19/08/2019 10:35

I hope you are packing up his belongings so she can give him a lift later to collect them.

EmeraldShamrock · 19/08/2019 10:35

Did they think the house was wife and child free. Shock
I'd be fuming, it looks suspicious for sure.

Herewego93 · 19/08/2019 10:36

Maybe she needed the loo? I don't know if I read the other posts but if op has really bad insecurities and it's someone like a business partner who he can't avoid maybe it makes sense but more often than not the most simple reason is true. Just trying to think why he would do this if he wasn't cheating. I could actually imagine a guy changing a girl's name to a guys if he was dumb enough he thought it would prevent any worries or drama. Guys can do strange things.

HulksPurplePanties · 19/08/2019 10:37

I was a bit Hmm at your last thread (after the stealing his sandwich bit) and thought maybe you had jealousy issues, but this isn't jealousy issues OP, he's fucking her.

Herewego93 · 19/08/2019 10:37

Also if I was the other woman last place you'd want to go is his house surely that be really grim.?

EmeraldShamrock · 19/08/2019 10:38

My Dsis DH used to call her Pete, her number was saved as Pete when they were sneaking around. Sad

KitschBitch · 19/08/2019 10:39

Definitely a cheater. LTB and focus on yourself, hope you find happiness

Rainydays94 · 19/08/2019 10:39

Girl get rid!
He’s lying They defo came back for a shag

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 19/08/2019 10:39

I'm sorry OP but they were blatantly coming back for a shag.

Trust your instincts and don't let him gaslight you.

formerbabe · 19/08/2019 10:41

Also if I was the other woman last place you'd want to go is his house surely that be really grim

Cheaper than a hotel though

bluebell34567 · 19/08/2019 10:41

well, good job you stayed at home today op, i think you caught them.
maybe you should hide somewhere and see what they would do next.

JustOneLastThing · 19/08/2019 10:41

He is cheating on you. With her. In your house.

CallmeAngelina · 19/08/2019 10:42

What's also sad about your situation, is the knots you've been tying yourself up in I'm trying to deal with your "jealousy and trust" issues, when it's extremely probable that there's nothing wrong with you at all. Your instincts are screaming at you for a reason!
That 'reason' is called Steve.

neighbourssitu · 19/08/2019 10:43

CCTV is needed for next time you're out

awmamma · 19/08/2019 10:43

I'm really sorry OP, but it doesn't sound good. Sending you strength and love Thanks

messolini9 · 19/08/2019 10:43

She didn't even say anything she just said "I think I'd better go and wait in the car

OP, if you can come back & tell us that you responded with a cool
"yeah, see you around, STEVE", you will be loved & feted forever xx

Funghi · 19/08/2019 10:43

Another of your post and disappear threads...

Ninabean17 · 19/08/2019 10:45

This is so awful. I'm sorry op but I agree with pp, it's obvious something is going on here. How did he react when he saw you were home?
You need to get finances etc in order, and LTB.