Husband brought a woman into our home

[girlsgonetame]

I posted here recently about a friendship my husband has developed with a colleague. He saved her in his phone under a mans name, lied about seeing her, said it was because I was jealous and he didn't want to have to explain himself. I decided he should give me some space for a few days whilst I worked on my issues with trust and jealousy. He came home at the weekend, assured me there was nothing going on and that he loved me, loved our family, didn't want to ruin that. He told me he would maintain a friendship with this woman as they are doing nothing wrong but that he would be more honest with me about it

Fast forward to today. I am supposed to be at work today but after everything that has happened I couldn't face it so have taken the kids to holiday club with the youngest at DHs parents house and booked myself last minute leave so that I could have a day at home with nothing else planned, get some jobs done, have some time actually to myself without DC or H around

He cycled to work this morning so left really early (starts at 8)
Just before 9 a car pulled up and out they both got. She was walking around my house like she owned the place. Was I unreasonable to hit the roof? He says he'd forgotten something that he needed for a meeting this morning and she had offered to drive him as he'd cycled.

She didn't even say anything she just said "I think I'd better go and wait in the car" 

I don't think OP is ending the relationship though. Are you OP?

I did actually order the cameras before he admitted to anything. I thought I might as well put them to use just to see.

I am planning to end our marriage, yes. I don't think we can go on as we are and I think we're beyond repair

It’s mad that is over for you both when your original post you were only querying if he was up to something. I feel so bad for you OP but you seem so strong minded, hope your ok x

Emma - it’s about his treatment of her fgs! Only a very cruel man would tell his wife that he was fantasising about another particular woman while he’s been having sex with her - not to mention one that he knows she is insecure about. Who does that? It takes a certain kind of individual to behave like that, it really does. Once you are able to see someone for who they truly are, you get past caring whether they have actually “had an affair” or not. It’s the waking up to the emotional abuse that the killer here. How can you love a man of such low integrity? Surely you can see that? He didn’t need to put her through any of this. Tje point is that no reasonable person would cause the person they are supposed to love so much strife, regardless of whether it’s an actual affair or in his own head.

For the best OP. He was needlessly cruel, as aqua00 says, he didn't need to be that cruel but he went ahead and told you that part, which is hideous behavior.
You were already confused, distressed and betrayed, and he caused you more pain. unnecessarily. A thank you note for the OW could end up feeling appropriate.

I think you misunderstood what I meant, I think he’s a total piece of shit for what he’s done, the mind games, making her question herself etc you don’t need to break it down for me lol what I actually meant was I just actually cannot believe the situation when the original post was is he having an affair?? I think OP is amazing for seeing through his bull shit and walking away, she must be a very strong woman

The cameras are hard physical/visual proof. He can easily deny he admitted anything to the OP.

@DieBabySharkDie, glad that you were able to find the strength to do what was best for you and your son, and that it's led to a better life. It must've been hard .

@girlsgonetame, take your time and work through your feelings before making any major decisions.
I'm glad that you eventually found out your fears were founded, as that must've been difficult to live with, and you can now move forward with whatever you decide is best for you and your dc.
Your idea of staying whilst you sort everything out quietly, and let him fund it all, sounds good to me, but only you know what would work for you. Good luck

sending strength and best wishes OP.