Is this my fault?

[mmmcflurrys]

Today I was dropping my step children, both girls aged 6&7 back to their mums.

Their mum has a little boy who was in hospital for a few days with tonsillitis, so kids were staying with us and then both nan and great nan (her side). So on the way they said "Did you know me and sis got a taxi on our own when baby was poorly" I said "Ooh that's an exciting experience, how did you feel?" 6 year old said she was a bit scared whereas 7 year old didn't care. It was about a 10 minute journey from Nan's to great nans.

I gave DP a call after dropping them off just to let him know which has now escalated to him and his ex arguing and her saying the kids can't come away with us on Thursday. DP said this is my fault for telling him as I knew how he would react and nothing good would have came from it.

AIBU to have told him what his kids told me? I thought as he is their dad he should know but maybe I am wrong?

Time to get a property defined legal arrangement in place so that the ex can't stop contact on a whim.

Op, I would want to know if my 6/7 year olds were in a taxi alone. Can't say I've ever need to send them on their own but in an emergency I would- with the very reputable company we use.
I think you did the right thing in telling their father. Why wouldn't you?

You do know that many children are taken to school every day in a taxi, don't you?

Those are DBS checked drivers supplied by vetted cab companies with a contract with the local authority. Not exactly a comparable situation.

I have explained it several times. Please dont try and belittle me because i care about my childs welfare and have different preferences to you.

I wouldnt do it. I would be concerned about it.

Loads of people do a lot of not brilliant things with their kids. It doesnt mean i should think its ok. Its not anxiety or me being scared of the world at all.

And saying "ahh its fine nothing bad happened the kids are alright" is bollocks. A kid could run into a road and be ok but you wouldn't let them do it again.

Where has op said anything about doing it again?
Sounds like a one off situation when there was a family emergency going on and everything was alright.

Regardless of the ops shitstirring the husband has majorly over reacted. It all sounds very volatile. Poor kids.

I dont think op has "shitstirred" at all.

Joanmavis then her DP reaction is even worse then surely in your opinion

Absolutely. I have already said his reaction is entirely his issue.

He obviously didnt go about it the right way and blaming op for anything here is unfair.

'Please dont try and belittle me because i care about my childs welfare and have different preferences to you'.

Lol. Boot squarely in.

Hardly.

So I would have told my dh if my stepson told me something like that but the tone of you post with questioning on how they felt along with the "didnt see them for a week" comment makes me think there is an underlying level of judgement and animosity to the mothers parenting.

Your dh reaction along with hers also gives a sense it isnt a particularly easy going co parenting relationship.

I was in hospital for a week with my older dd and didnt see my younger dd. She was with dh and nannys. She was fine and these things cant be helped.

So your dh was unreasonable and hopefully he and his ex will learn to communicate in a less combative style. I'm sure him on the phone going mad after having one child in hospital and away from her other was the last thing she needed.

Give it a few days to calm down and hopefully the girls will be able to go away with you.

Update for the people saying DP is BU..

Just found out she hasn't said kids can't come but he was putting me in a "hypothetical situation"

Weird and makes me not want to go on holiday myself.

He is an idiot

@Maybe83 Agreed.

FFS, OP is not their stepmother. A stepmother by definition is married to the father. Who sounds like a fucking prick, by the way, bet the ex doesn't miss him. I would have mentioned it to him later.

Oh give over with your definitions. By your definition im not a step mother either but i ended up bringing dss up for years. Funny that im a step mother when it suits tho eh.

No francis im saying i wouldnt do it and id be concerned. Im not saying i know better im saying i wouldnt do it.

@MrsDesireeCarthorse Ok I am not their stepmother, but I'm more than just "dad's girlfriend" They stay with us 3 nights a week and come for dinner one night too, me and DP have our own little girl and they call refer to me as their stepmom, so sorry if that isn't politically correct but it's what they're comfortable with.

‘Just to let him know’

Aka shit stirring

AKA keeping her DP informed about his kids.
Are you seriously recommending she lie, or withold?

What? He’s a bellend. So pointless, petty and manipulative of him.

You should have told him when you saw him, and had a sensible conversation and not let him kick off at ex.

Oh yeah - woman held responsible for man's anger, & told it is up to her to manage his relationship with his ex. Because he is incapable, so it's clearly her fault that he kicked off.

@JoanMavisIcecreamGirl exactly! Scum of the earth some days but when we need to play "step-mum" we better be there!

I don’t really understand why he reacted? They went in a taxi. Lots of children travel to school in a taxi? My child travels alone in a taxi everyday to go to school, why would this be any differently?