Is this my fault?

[mmmcflurrys]

Today I was dropping my step children, both girls aged 6&7 back to their mums.

Their mum has a little boy who was in hospital for a few days with tonsillitis, so kids were staying with us and then both nan and great nan (her side). So on the way they said "Did you know me and sis got a taxi on our own when baby was poorly" I said "Ooh that's an exciting experience, how did you feel?" 6 year old said she was a bit scared whereas 7 year old didn't care. It was about a 10 minute journey from Nan's to great nans.

I gave DP a call after dropping them off just to let him know which has now escalated to him and his ex arguing and her saying the kids can't come away with us on Thursday. DP said this is my fault for telling him as I knew how he would react and nothing good would have came from it.

AIBU to have told him what his kids told me? I thought as he is their dad he should know but maybe I am wrong?

We had been sharing care of the girls but it was on the day they were at their nans. Also wasn't an "emergency" just laziness from the adults for not going with them.

Might as well add the hospital is a 15 minute drive but she didn't see the kids for a week.

He's a good dad so don't understand the bashing replies as to why he wasn't helping.

Your update makes me think it was definitely shit-stirring now, OP. It wasn't the ex who put them in a taxi, was it? So why take it out on her because you don't like her

Might as well add the hospital is a 15 minute drive but she didn't see the kids for a week.

I think that's normal enough? Friends of ours have three children. One ended up in hospital for a week for IV antibiotics recently. One parent couldn't go because of the infection risk, so they stayed home with the other two while the other one stayed in the hospital. I don't think they saw each other, the grandparents helped out with the fetching and carrying.

The girls were well taken care of and she needed to be with the sick little boy.

Ask him how he’d have felt when he found out you knew and kept quiet?

A prebooked taxi for a short distance is absolutely fine. And yes quite obviously you were happily stirring.

He's overreacted massively.

Why did you feel the need to phone him straight away ' just to let him know' instead of waiting until you saw him ?

Step mothers are always wrong on MN ! Lol

@ChicCroissant sorry did you not read the OP? I haven't taken it out on anybody

@Densol999 I know! God forbid caring about the welfare of children that aren't yours!

Your last post looks to me as if you were shit stirring OP! Get your spoon out!!

Ah well, you wanted a drama and you got one because your husband massively over reacted, as I'm sure you knew he would. Not sure what your problem is, you should be happy. Result.

Your posts don’t make sense he was ill in hospital for a week with tonsillitis yet it wasn’t that serious or an emergency
You are judging her as well for not seeing her children for a week

Yep it does sound as if you told him to get a reaction but to what end considering the blow back to you

None of that matters though as him blaming you for his reaction is a huge red flag in your relationship that has nothing to do with the ex or your step children

His reaction isn't your fault, so the ensuing argument isn't either. He's a big boy presumably, and should be able to manage his own interactions.

However getting in touch specifically to tell his does seem stirry. It really isn't a massive deal, and yet by getting in touch specifically kind of makes it one.

Step mothers are always wrong on MN ! Lol

Oh god let me get out my tiny violin...

OP is wrong because she knowingly caused a drama for no other reason than she wanted to. That makes her a shit stirrer. The fact she is SM is just a cliché.

The children sat in aucesenced tax for 10 minutes. They are fine. No ill effects. No trauma.
What is traumatic is mum and dad fighting and arguing and them missing out on a holiday because you gleeful told their dad knowing he would carry on and him acting like a knob.

Why does nobody think the op was simply concerned?

I would be.

Why would you be concerned?

Because imo 6 and 7 is too little to be in a taxi unattended even for 10 minutes. I wouldn't do that to my own child so id be concerned if it was my step children.

My son travelled in a taxi to school everyday from aged 6 by himself.
SS arranged it and had no problem with it.

Why are they too little they are not babies or toddlers. They are old enough to sit and behave.

I can understand concern - but that would be raised face-to-face. Using the phone as soon as the girls are out of the car would seem to be motivated by something else.

Also, the OP said in her opening post (which I did read) that the Nan sent them by taxi, so not sure why the ex is getting grief about this ( It was about a 10 minute journey from Nan's to great nans. )

I agree with the PP who have said that it is a bit of a red flag to claim that the OP is responsible for his temper as well!

Does it matter though if OP did it to stir, because she was genuinely concerned or felt the dad had a right to know? Surely the issue is his reaction (aggression and shouting) and then blaming her.

If youre happy with that, fine. I wouldn't be.

It isnt them behaving that would worry me, tbh.

You were straight on the phone to your DP to excitedly tell him the news because you think it puts his ex in a bad light and the fact that you obviously don't like his ex from your latest update.

You're a real peach.

I am not getting at you Joan but you keep saying you would be concerned but you don't say why?

Really dont get why nobody believes op might have actually been concerned. Contrary to popular belief Step mothers dont have a black hole where their heart should be.

Id have told my dp too, tbh. Like i would about anything that concerned me.

His behaviour however is entirely his own problem.

6 and 7 is too young to be in a taxi with a stranger. I would be concerned what could happen to them! Whats weird about that?