Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?

179 replies

Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:14

As you all may know, I have one ds (twelve years old) and a fifteen year old daughter.
My ds is on the spectrum, dd suspected and i'm currently suspecting it in myself too.
dd's father (we are now divorced) is from the middle east type area (a mix of Syria, Iran etc) so dd has very thick dark hair and grows facial hair very easily.
she's quite insecure about this. It breaks my heart when i hear her talk about how she wishes to be english like me and her brother, she's experienced racism from classmates Sad
But she's recently discovered a 'model' on instagram called Sophia Hadjipentali? If that's the wrong spelling, I apologise.
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman, but she has a quite awful looking unibrow Hmm I don't know if it's to get attention, but she flaunts it around on instagram like some sort of fashion accessory.
Dd usually shaves her unibrow off, but these past few weeks she has been refusing. I personally think it looks awful. She's very beautiful, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair etc and I think she could pull off a lot of things but not a bloody unibrow and a mustache Hmm
Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.
What do you think? This probably sounds strange but advice would be appreciated! x

OP posts:
RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 21:16

I'd leave her to it. Let her make her own mind up without turning yourself into the bad guy.

SexFarmWoman · 15/08/2019 21:17

Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it

You've answered your own question.

Isleepinahedgefund · 15/08/2019 21:17

It doesn't sound strange. It sounds awful. Her own mother doesn't think she can "pull off" what she naturally looks like. Poor girl.

Digitalash · 15/08/2019 21:17

It's her hair and her face she can do what she wants with it.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2019 21:18

Leave her alone. How would you force her to shave it anyway?

SexFarmWoman · 15/08/2019 21:18

And it's not 'letting her grow a unibrow', it's just not forcing her to remove her hair.

Mystarisup · 15/08/2019 21:19

Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.

Leave her to it, if that's what she wants. There's no right/wrong with how anyone 'should' look, as long as she's happy then great.

IsobelRae23 · 15/08/2019 21:19

I’d leave her to it. She may get rid of it before school starts. If not, she’ll soon find out what others think and it may not be kind- girls can be bitches. Is she likely to care what others think?

HappyHammy · 15/08/2019 21:20

Are you worried that she will be teased or bullied

ShatteredBrianne · 15/08/2019 21:20

What they all said ^^

Justmuddlingalong · 15/08/2019 21:20

I think that after wishing she was different, she's accepting how she is. Please encourage her independence, positive self esteem and confidence.

MadameButterface · 15/08/2019 21:21

Leave her to it. Aren’t you pleased that she has a role model who is making her feel good about an aspect of her appearance that she previously felt ashamed and embarrassed about? And you sound odd with your comment about the model (no need for the scare quotes, SH is a model) doing it ‘for attention’. There are lots of beautiful women in the world trying to be models, the smart ones know that to stand out they have to emphasise and take pride in what is unique about themselves. Not such a bad attitude to model to a self conscious 15 year old is it?

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:22

@happyhammy there's a lot of bitchy girls at her school who would definitely tease her for it. I also don't think that it looks nice.

OP posts:
Teddybear45 · 15/08/2019 21:22

I am from an Indian background and some of us can be very hairy too. Usually the focus of an Indo-Middle Eastern beautician is not to seperate a unibrow unless if it’s bad but to tidy it. As when it starts growing back after a week or two it looks really bad.

Teddybear45 · 15/08/2019 21:23

*if it’s bad.

InsertFunnyUsername · 15/08/2019 21:24

I wouldn't like this either OP, in an ideal world people can choose to present themselves how they wish and everything will be fine and dandy, but back in the real world kids are mean and she might be horrificly bullied. I'm sure people will pile on you, but you only have to read some threads on here to see how some adults still now, have issues stemmed from childhood bullying, so YANBU.

YWBU to force her to change herself though, so you will just have to stand by her decision and show her you have her back no matter what. And YABU to assume it will make her less attractive, that wouldn't be a concern of mine like I said mine would just be the bullying side. Your DD will be beautiful one brow, two brows or a unibrow!

BooseysMom · 15/08/2019 21:24

I've just googled Sophia Hadjipentalid ... no no no.. please don't let her do this!! ShockWink it looks horrendous and scary. But if that's the current trend i'll never have to.worry about my brows again!

PoppingOneOutIn2020 · 15/08/2019 21:25

Shes gone from being very insecure and upset about racial bullying.. to embracing herself and her looks, and now your unhappy about it?

If shes happy with her bodily hair, let her be happy.

makingmammaries · 15/08/2019 21:26

It doesn't look nice on Sophia Hadjipanteli. An Indian friend of mine got her unwanted hair lasered and was pleased with the results. Maybe that's the way to go if you can afford it.

I will probably get flamed for saying SH's monobrow doesn't look good, but it actually looks like a moustache in the wrong place.

skybluee · 15/08/2019 21:28

Is this the model?

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?
skybluee · 15/08/2019 21:28

I don't know why that didn't work.

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:29

@skybluee sophia hadjipanteli is the name of the model. I'm glad that others agree on how awful she looks Hmm

OP posts:
MadameButterface · 15/08/2019 21:30

Teasing over one thing or another is something all children have to learn to deal with at some point, i try to give mine the self confidence to shrug or laugh it off as that makes it lose its power.

Perhaps you would serve your daughter better if you stopped with your negative attitude about certain aspects of her appearance. There is no way she is not picking up on it, self loathing and lack of confidence are far more vulnerable targets for getting picked on and the type of picking on it attracts, and how it feeds into the existing feelings of shame and sadness are much more dangerous and insidious than being called fat, speccy, sticky out ears or whatever. To hate something about yourself and to know deep down that your MUM actually agrees with you makes you much more vulnerable than someone being like ‘oi monobrow’, and being like ‘what’s your problem are you jealous’ back at them, can you not see that?

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:30

@skybluee sorry! the picture didn't load at first. Yes, that is the model.

OP posts:
MaxNormal · 15/08/2019 21:30

I will probably get flamed for saying SH's monobrow doesn't look good, but it actually looks like a moustache in the wrong place.

I was all for saying OP is BU but having googled that actually looks stuck on! Very odd.