Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?

179 replies

Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:14

As you all may know, I have one ds (twelve years old) and a fifteen year old daughter.
My ds is on the spectrum, dd suspected and i'm currently suspecting it in myself too.
dd's father (we are now divorced) is from the middle east type area (a mix of Syria, Iran etc) so dd has very thick dark hair and grows facial hair very easily.
she's quite insecure about this. It breaks my heart when i hear her talk about how she wishes to be english like me and her brother, she's experienced racism from classmates Sad
But she's recently discovered a 'model' on instagram called Sophia Hadjipentali? If that's the wrong spelling, I apologise.
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman, but she has a quite awful looking unibrow Hmm I don't know if it's to get attention, but she flaunts it around on instagram like some sort of fashion accessory.
Dd usually shaves her unibrow off, but these past few weeks she has been refusing. I personally think it looks awful. She's very beautiful, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair etc and I think she could pull off a lot of things but not a bloody unibrow and a mustache Hmm
Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.
What do you think? This probably sounds strange but advice would be appreciated! x

OP posts:
TrembleTremble · 15/08/2019 21:55

I'm probably one of the least shallow people I know

Preceeded by: personally I think it looks awful

Hmmm Hmm

Elision · 15/08/2019 21:56

It doesn’t fucking matter if she is less beautiful with a unibrow. She doesn’t owe you, or anyone, beauty. You say she’s bullied at school but that’s nothing compared to what she’s getting at home. You need to think really hard about the kind of person you are and the kind of mother you are because you are causing the kind of damage that will stick with your poor daughter for life.

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 21:56

Good Lord, some of these responses!

OP, no you should not advise your daughter to change her natural appearance in order to pander to the small-minded. I'm shocked anyone thinks otherwise. What sort of a lesson does that teach?

'Hide yourself child, lest someone notice that you exist and are not the same as them!' Hmm

Sorrysorrysosorry · 15/08/2019 21:57

there's a lot of bitchy girls at her school who would definitely tease her for it. I also don't think that it looks nice.

You thinking it doesn’t look nice would mean her definitely choosing to grow it. Girls at school commenting and being mean may result in her wanting to remove it - or may give her courage to continue naturally, who knows?

Maybe if there was an insta model around in my high school days with upper lip hair (I first saw it in the cinema on Marty mcflys mother in back to the future 2 and was AMAZED) then I wouldn’t have felt the need to wax weekly from age 12 and pluck daily in between in case I dare show a single hair.

Shelby2010 · 15/08/2019 21:58

I think what looks most odd with the model, is that her hair has obviously been bleached which has the effect of making the mono brow look artificial. Definitely not a ‘natural’ look. As your DD has presumably not lightened her hair then I expect her mono brow looks much better.

SuperFurryDoggy · 15/08/2019 21:58

Sophia Hadjipanteli’s unibrow is dyed black, which is why it looks strange. It it was her normal, natural colour it would look.. well.. normal and natural!

There is a great quote about beauty not being the price you have to pay for being a women. Or something like that! It’s ok not to look sexually attractive.

I hope she doesn’t get bullied for it, but forcing her to confirm could do more damage than bullying.

dollydaydream114 · 15/08/2019 21:58

I also don't think that it looks nice

It’s not your face so it doesn’t matter whether you think it looks nice. You sound absolutely horrible.

user1473878824 · 15/08/2019 21:58

@skybluee “Wow, that's incredibly rude” right. Missed the point entirely there, didn’t you?

OP, let her decide. If she is happy and comfortable then it’s fine even if you don’t like it. If someone is mean about it at school you sit DD down and tell her that as long as SHE is happy with the way she looks, everyone else can go fuck themselves. Teenagers can be mean, usually because they’re insecure. You may not like it, but make her feel like whatever she does to her face she will look fantastic and amazing. Honestly, I really admire her confidence.

Elision · 15/08/2019 21:59

Her hair is obviously dyed, not her eyebrows.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 15/08/2019 22:01

I’m going to go against the grain here.
Sophia is a body positive young activist. She’s a Greek Cypriot American who is proud of the way she looks.
I think it’s great for your daughter to have a role model, and someone she can look up to instead of trying to fit in with the mean girls at school.
I would be encouraging your DD to message Sophia and get some support.
The world is changing an youngsters think differently to an older generation.
If your Dd is embracing who she, then encourage it.

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?
Poochandmutt · 15/08/2019 22:01

Both our local secondary schools have a fair few trans children ,they are accepted without question.our young people are a very live and let live lot .they seem an accepting bunch of each other..
May be one or two will raise an eyebrow, but just maybe she may be celebrated for being herself

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 22:01

I just really don't want to offend you all, but if my daughter grew a unibrow I wouldn't want to go out in public with her Hmm I want my daughter to grow up in an environment where can express herself without others judging, but that won't happen. Not only do I not like the look of female facial hair, others would bully her etc. This is a fascinating discussion. My daughters brow is already quickly growing, And she doesn't want to touch it.

OP posts:
Littlechef11 · 15/08/2019 22:02

Another one who thinks you sound shallow

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 15/08/2019 22:02

Sophia accidentally tinted her eyebrows dark, and liked the look.
In the above picture she’s obviously bleached her hair

user1473878824 · 15/08/2019 22:03

“I just really don't want to offend you all, but if my daughter grew a unibrow I wouldn't want to go out in public with her hmm I want my daughter to grow up in an environment where can express herself without others judging“

READ THAT BACK TO YOURSELF! OP!!!!!

SexFarmWoman · 15/08/2019 22:03

Still waiting for your photo...

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2019 22:03

I’m going to go against the grain here.

The vast majority of posts are saying the same thing as yours. Confused

Celebelly · 15/08/2019 22:03

I think it's easy to be magnanimous about it and talk about body confidence when you won't have to deal with the consequences though. OP is already dealing with a daughter who is being bullied and may have some additional needs. The addition of an unconventional appearance will probably make things worse. I think it's perfectly understandable why she's worried about it. Of course she shouldn't have to be, but it's stunningly naive to think that it won't be remarked upon at school and possibly make her daughter's life worse.

Do I think it's right to tell her not to do it? No. But I do think it would be remiss as a parent to wave her off with a cheery smile and then have to pick up the pieces with a shattered daughter who has been made into a figure of fun by bullies at school. At the very least, I think it's worth a discussion with her on how to handle any comments or bullying.

user1473878824 · 15/08/2019 22:04

You want your daughter to grow up in an environment you are then refusing to provide!

thecatinthetwat · 15/08/2019 22:04

To everybody saying that I said that she wasn't beautiful. I did not mean that. I meant that unibrows are not beautiful.

But she does have one. And if you encourage her to remove it, that is the message you’re sending.

Better to get bullied at school, than receive coercion from her own parent, who thinks she isn’t beautiful as she is. Confused

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 22:05

@sexfarmwoman I'm not very proud of how I look myself. I don't have a unibrow, though.

OP posts:
Celebelly · 15/08/2019 22:05

if my daughter grew a unibrow I wouldn't want to go out in public with her

This changes things though as now it's about you, and not her. It's one thing to be concerned about it for her own sake but it sounds like you'd be embarrassed by her? Sad

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2019 22:05

I just really don't want to offend you all, but if my daughter grew a unibrow I wouldn't want to go out in public with her

Utterly disgusting attitude.

Poochandmutt · 15/08/2019 22:06

I’ve 2 children who it’s obvious have SN ,so out and about people do look .nothing I can do ,except smile .they are just being themselves,and your daughter is just being herself ,we are all made how we are made ,and such be accepted as such ...unless we choose to change ourselves..if she chooses to shave it of that’s fine ,if she chooses to leave that’s fine ,hold her hand and be proud op

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 22:06

@celebelly Thank you! These are the answers that I was looking for Smile

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread