AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?

[Albatross454]

As you all may know, I have one ds (twelve years old) and a fifteen year old daughter.
My ds is on the spectrum, dd suspected and i'm currently suspecting it in myself too.
dd's father (we are now divorced) is from the middle east type area (a mix of Syria, Iran etc) so dd has very thick dark hair and grows facial hair very easily.
she's quite insecure about this. It breaks my heart when i hear her talk about how she wishes to be english like me and her brother, she's experienced racism from classmates
But she's recently discovered a 'model' on instagram called Sophia Hadjipentali? If that's the wrong spelling, I apologise.
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman, but she has a quite awful looking unibrow I don't know if it's to get attention, but she flaunts it around on instagram like some sort of fashion accessory.
Dd usually shaves her unibrow off, but these past few weeks she has been refusing. I personally think it looks awful. She's very beautiful, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair etc and I think she could pull off a lot of things but not a bloody unibrow and a mustache
Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.
What do you think? This probably sounds strange but advice would be appreciated! x

That model looks horrendous mostly because of the bleached hair and stuck on looking thick black unibrow.
Your DD on the other hand, having dark skin/hair anyway would not look anything like that.
There is a bollywood actress, Kajol Devgan, who has never gotten rid of her unibrow despite being questioned about it over the years, she is extremely beautiful!

If your DD wants to embrace being natural then fantastic, bullies will bully for any reason so there's not much point trying to deter her from something she wants to do because of the risk of bullying.

Fwiw I was bullied for having big boobs during school, my friend who was flat chested was also bullied - you can't win!

I quite like Sophia's look but teenage girls can be horrible. I've never had a unibrow but I was shamed into shaving my legs because other girls started and teased girls who didn't mercilessly.

The hair on my legs is blonde and you can't see it! Bitches. I don't bother now.

I am really saddened that one version of beauty is so pervasive in our culture/ media that a mother can’t support her daughter to be who she is without modification.

Here’s a bit of Harnaam Kaur. I wish I could be as brave

@wacademia that was a great post

My dd1 had a very unconventional appearance as a young teen and, yes, was teased/bullied. She was unrepentant, and I fully supported her in driving her own style. Why wouldn't I? I'm her mum, and I'll always champion her. By the time she got to sixth form age, her peers were falling over themselves to be around her - by that stage, difference is celebrated.
I'm incredibly proud of her that she never once conformed, or changed her appearance to suit the girls who bullied her. I'm actually really surprised that so many pp would advise differently.

Women pluck their eyebrows, draw new ones on, let them go bushy, tweezer them into the tiniest of lines.

I don't get it, but that's what the young uns do.

She's experimenting. It's what kids do.
Let them

This hands down is the most disgusting threads in here for a while.. I understand OPs concerns but you are essentially shaming DD for finding a healthy, positive role model.

On here 😶😒

I haven't RTFT but I'd say let her get on with it. DD (14), wears clothes that I sometimes consider consider hideous and unflattering on her.
But, it's her body and her style.

My mother is beautiful. I'm not. I'm really glad she wasn't like you though, she loved me for who I was and was never ashamed of being seen in public with me.

I don't say this ever, but you are an awful parent.

Frida Khalo had a uni brow...she looked awesome. She might get bullied which is the real concern here but she has to find out for herself.

In a way it is good that she is embracing her natural self. However if I embraced my natural self I would have a mono brow, moustache and full grown beard. I thread or wax for me because I do not want a better looking beard than my dh.

Be there for her, show her that there are other ways for hair removal and if she decided to change her mind there are options. Ps. Shaving on the face is never a good idea!

Let her express herself in whatever way she wants, and stop siding with the school bullies in shaming her for it! If she does get teased, help her to navigate it. With support, it can be an experience that strengthens her.

Everyone should be able to look how they want, that being said if she goes to school she will be ripped apart if it's anything like mine was or my daughters school. Teenagers are cruel beasts! Not all of them but a lot of them and your daughter could be setting herself up for a world of pain. Should it be like this? Hell no. Is it like this? Yes!

Autistic people tend to question the status quo , rather than blindly accepting things, including beauty standards. I imagine your daughter is aware of the potential social "risks" of being her natural self but has decided these are worth it. Good for her.
I grew up with parents who worried a lot about appearance and refused to walk with me when I had certain hair styles. I grew up with body dysmorphic disorder because I internalised these messages

The model looks ridiculous, all I see is the unibrow and the puffed up fish lips.

OP I can understand why you are concerned that your DD will be bullied but they are her eyebrows and she's old enough to make her own decisions and deal with the consequences. With any luck she may change her mind.

You've got a lot of internalised misogyny smouldering away in there. Like, a lot. Your daughter has discovered a role modal who helps her feel less insecure about her appearance, reclaim something she's faced racist abuse for, and understand that she doesn't have to modify her body to fit white beauty norms. Are you really here asking how you can discourage that?!

I've just looked up that modal you mentioned and I think she looks fantastic. Very Frida Kahlo. Maybe stop picking on your daughter and try working on your own issues with judging women by their looks.

This.

And what wacademia said, too.

Isn't it nice when people type your posts out for you, only say it better? I think we need a 'vote up / vote down' feature on here. Would mean I could just vote for a post, rather than making a new one to say I agreed with it. Massive space saver!

Lifeisabeach09
I thought Sophia looked good

Have you had your eyes tested recently?🤔

FFs she's 15, it's up to her what body hair she choses to shave or let grow surely? Do you chose how she wears the hair on her head too OP?

People in the out crowd trying desperately to appease bullies and win their acceptance tend to be targeted much more as targets of bullying, hazing and frenemy bullshit than people who just don’t give a single fuck.

And anyway all yous saying people can’t do this and can’t do that or they’re asking to be bullied sound like victim blamers. Do you tell your dc not to raise their hand in class too much or excel too much at drama or music in case they attract bullying? Do you think dc with autism or other neurological differences should hide who they are in case they attract bullying? All you are doing with this comment is revealing your own craven need to conform and be accepted. Treating bullying as something inevitable that victims are partly responsible for is a disgusting attitude and only perpetuates it, as the shame and stigma transfers to the victim instead of where it belongs, on the perpetrator. We’ve stopped doing this with domestic violence and sexual violence thank FUCK and it’s time we stopped this harmful nonsense too.

For everybody still commenting on my parenting skills - I have told her that she can do what she wants with her body and I will support her. I apologise for all negative comments. I have changed my views.

It is hard as a parent to strike up a balance between being a supportive parent and pushing them away by being utterly overbearing.

You are trying to prevent DD from being bullied, understandable. Teenagers will be teenagers though and she has every right to do this regardless (and probably will). The unibrow worked well for Frida...

“I just really don't want to offend you all, but if my daughter grew a unibrow I wouldn't want to go out in public with her

Your poor poor daughter

At 15 years old, despite her challenges, she accepts herself and her body for who she is, taking inspiration from strong body positive women. She’s an inspiration. I hope your attitude doesn’t taint her.

Wow! There are some genuinely horribly, misogynistic attitudes on this thread. Get it waxed because ‘it looks horrendous and scary’?! You are talking about the natural body hair of a woman, FFS. This whole thread is about whether you should support a 15 year old - A CHILD - who wishes to explore feeling comfortable in her own natural skin, or force her to conform to patriarchal expectations of frankly ludicrous pre-pubescent hairlessness. I am not an Uber-feminist. I wax, pluck and shave bits of my body when I feel more comfortable doing so. But, bloody hell, if my DD ever said that she’d rather celebrate her natural form than going through that tiresome rigmarole, I would give her a huge pat on the back and admire her immensely.

Everybody, I no longer have these opinions. Everything is okay with my daughter and I have told her that she can do what she wants with her body. I have asked mn to take the thread down. I really hope i have not offended anybody. I worded a lot of what I said wrong and a lot of the other answers just made it even worse. I would go out in public with my daughter if she had a unibrow. That was not the problem. The problem is is that I wouldn't want anybody to have teased her. I now know that if anybody teases my daughter for her natural beauty then they can piss off. Thank you all for your honest opinions.