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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?

179 replies

Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:14

As you all may know, I have one ds (twelve years old) and a fifteen year old daughter.
My ds is on the spectrum, dd suspected and i'm currently suspecting it in myself too.
dd's father (we are now divorced) is from the middle east type area (a mix of Syria, Iran etc) so dd has very thick dark hair and grows facial hair very easily.
she's quite insecure about this. It breaks my heart when i hear her talk about how she wishes to be english like me and her brother, she's experienced racism from classmates Sad
But she's recently discovered a 'model' on instagram called Sophia Hadjipentali? If that's the wrong spelling, I apologise.
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman, but she has a quite awful looking unibrow Hmm I don't know if it's to get attention, but she flaunts it around on instagram like some sort of fashion accessory.
Dd usually shaves her unibrow off, but these past few weeks she has been refusing. I personally think it looks awful. She's very beautiful, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair etc and I think she could pull off a lot of things but not a bloody unibrow and a mustache Hmm
Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.
What do you think? This probably sounds strange but advice would be appreciated! x

OP posts:
ScrimshawTheSecond · 15/08/2019 22:28

Hadjipentali looks great. Let your daughter be herself, I'd be so proud of my child for standing up to bullies and accepting her natural features. I'm so sorry that anyone feels they are unacceptable as they are.

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:30

That’s a very fast total change of opinion

I find it totally believable. This is someone so frightened of attracting the censure of strangers that she wouldn't walk next to someone with a unibrow. Makes sense she'd do a 180 when confronted with the amount of outrage on this thread.

Plus, there's a duplicate thread running alongside this one.

underneaththeash · 15/08/2019 22:31

I think that mid looks daft too - but then I think those massive brows, huge lips and tattoos all look awful as well. Let her decide.
DS (13) had a bit of a fluff tash, I mentioned it, suggested he might get teased and got an electric shaver for him to use himself if he wanted. He did remove it, but it was never a big deal.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/08/2019 22:31

I see both sides but fear your DD may find out the hard way it’s probably not a great idea.

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2019 22:31

It's up to the child. My six year old has a unibrow. I waxed hers this morning to keep them tidy. She tells me when she wants them doing. She didn't want them doing for the last 4 month's, a unibrow that also grows halfway down her nose too. But I respected her decision, but was glad she changed her mind today.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/08/2019 22:32

Get over yourself, shut up and mind your own business. This is not about you. Your DD wants to do something to her appearance which is not harmful and not remotely permanent - let her get on with it.

A decent parent, BTW, encourages their DC to express themselves in a way that feels right to them, not to change their appearance to appease bullies and stupid people.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2019 22:32

Waxing a six year old’s eyebrows is disgusting.

GeePipe · 15/08/2019 22:33

So much wrong here. For one thing show her Frida Kahlo and let her embrace her natural beauty as God and YOU made her.

  1. Some people like me personally love monobrows and wish we ourselves had them.
  2. SOPHIA is stunning and a cypriot model who has a natural unibrow that she dyed darker by mistake and decided to keep as it gave her a unique edge in the modelling world which has worked to her advantage.
Beautiful3 · 15/08/2019 22:35

@PurpleDaisies
Why is it? I do my own. If she asks me to wax the middle part of the uni brow, whats the big deal?

GeePipe · 15/08/2019 22:36

Also the whole "she will get bullied at school" thing is a cop out. Bullies will bully no matter what is in feont of them. Its your job to teach your children resilience and that they are perfect no matter what.

Purpletigers · 15/08/2019 22:39

I would encourage my child to sort out a unibrow. You’re just being a mum and worried about how she will be treated . A 15 year old is still a child
and needs guidance at times. This is one of them .

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2019 22:41

Agree with purple tigers 100 percent.

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:43

If she asks me to wax the middle part of the uni brow, whats the big deal?

Depends. The very first time, was it in any way prompted by you? Most six year olds don't care about how they look and hardly any will volunteer for pain.

A 15 year old is still a child
and needs guidance at times. This is one of them

Yes, she needs warning that some people are small minded idiots but that doesn't mean we should change ourselves to emulate them.

joyfullittlehippo · 15/08/2019 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Csleeptime · 15/08/2019 22:46

OP would you really be embarrassed to go out with you child because if facial hair? This is such a minor thing it is very concerning. I'm glad you are supporting her and I'm sure you have her best interests at heart, just can't get my head around that comment.

joyfullittlehippo · 15/08/2019 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VivaLeBeaver · 15/08/2019 22:48

Problem is a model has an unusual feature and everyone raves about it. Some 12yo girl tries to copy it/has the same feature and she will be bullied like mad for being different.

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2019 22:54

@RedCowboyBoots
No I did not offer to touch her eyebrows. She watched me wax mine and said she wanted me to do hers. I didn't do it for a few months because I wanted her to feel sure about it. A few months later she asked me again. I explained that it would hurt a little. She still wanted to. I did it and she said it didn't really hurt and smiled when she looked in the mirror. She felt happy. A few months later she said she wanted to grow them. That's fine with me too. Today she asked me to do them. Again I did, and she's happy with them. My older daughter has never asked me to do hers and I would never suggest it. So hers have never been touched. If she asked me tomorrow to tidy them up, then I would.

Doormat247 · 15/08/2019 23:03

She'll probably change her mind once the bullying starts at school.

I remember during a school games lesson a girl at my school was noticed with ONE toe hair and she was bullied/known as hobbit for 5 whole years.
Kids are even more vicious these days and with all the cyber bullying that goes on, she could end up incredibly upset.

WelcomeToGreenvale · 15/08/2019 23:06

It's really shocking that you would be embarrassed to be out in public with your daughter appearing the way she chooses to appear. You come across as very shallow. Concerned more about how others think than about your child's self-image.

Support your child no matter how they present. That is what will make you a good and supportive parent. Your standards of beauty are not the same as everyone else's. Listen to your child. Please.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 15/08/2019 23:09

Would your DDs grow that strong though? I love a mono brow, most are a bit more delicate and look really quite attractive. I think it a positive move though, some women are hairy and there is nothing unattractive about that.

Littlechocola · 15/08/2019 23:11

You seem very concerned about not upsetting people op.
Be proud that your daughter is able to be who she wants to be.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 15/08/2019 23:11

Why would you teach your child that appeasing bullies is the best course of action? Just support her and make her feel good about herself. Tell her you love her, brow or no brow.

You sound really judgemental and awful.

I was bullied my entire time at school and it fucked me up but nowhere near to the extent that knowing my mother judged everything about me did. You are supposed to be the one who is her support and guide and you are failing her massively on this front.

Massive brows are in anyway.

NoSauce · 15/08/2019 23:12

Can’t believe some of the comments to the OP. It’s so easy for people on the internet not in a this situation to say she’s shallow and awful. I doubt you’d be happy if this were your 15 year old daughter.

Nothingcomesforfree · 15/08/2019 23:12

There’s a difference between deciding you want to look a certain way and just forgetting you have armpit hair/uni brow etc.

If Kim Kardasian can make an unfeasibly (without surgical help) outsized arse a popular look then why not body hair? Not everyone wants to look the same.